Coming soon: Chapter Two: Exposing Cindy - Facing my husband.
The evening with Denzel was uniquely dangerous and exciting experience. It was degrading and humiliating; and yet, I came three times.
But most of all, it was stupid. It was irresponsible. It was wrong. I violated one of the fundamental precepts of my marriage. My husband, whom I love dearly, has always allowed me to enjoy any man I fancied, as long as he was made aware of it ahead of time and consented.
Yes, Jim frequently enjoyed sharing me with one, or more, other men. Jim loved seeing other men drive me to orgasm. He loved exposing me to other men. He was not possessive or jealous. In fact, Jim was quite the opposite. Jim wanted to share me widely. However, he insisted on being involved. He was not a 'cuckold' husband who allowed his wife take the lead. He was my real master. I knew it, and he knew it.
And I had committed a grave sin. I violated our agreement. And I honestly feared that it could cost me my marriage.
Why had I been so stupid? How could I have let Jim down so badly? Why was I so susceptible to being seduced by this woman on-line, a woman I would never meet? Why did I obey her in defiance of my husband's instructions and rules? A man I loved, adored and respected?
I wrestled with how to handle this with Jim as I my plane traveled from Chicago the next morning to Dallas. I knew I needed to tell Jim everything, even if it meant the end of my marriage. Being open and honest with my husband was that important to me.
I just did not know how I could ever tell Jim about what happened. But I knew I needed to do just that. I just did not know how.
I lay there in bed that evening and decided that the longer I put this off, the worse it would be.
"Jim, I have to tell you something, and I don't think you will like it."
"OK"
"I did something bad. Or at least I think you are going to think it is bad."
"OK, just tell me. What did you do?" His voice took a serious tone.
"I let someone fuck me last night without your permission. I am so sorry. But a situation got out of hand and things went way further than I intended."
Jim paused before responding. I could not tell if he was shocked, hurt or mad.
"Tell me what happened."
I told him about chatting on-line with Mistress Sarah, about her directing me to order room service and about Denzel.
"Did you climax with him?"
I nodded my head, "Yes, sir. I did. I could not help myself."
"How many times?"
"Three" I said sheepishly. After a moment's silence, I said, "There is something else."
"What?"
"He did not use a condom. He did not have one. And neither did I. I was not expecting to do any of this and I was not prepared. And he wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer. So he entered me unprotected."
"Did he force you?"
"No, not physically; nothing like that. But he commanded me and insisted. I tried to 'get him off' with my mouth, but he did not want to cum in my mouth. He insisted on entering me. And, eventually, I let him."
"Cindy that is just stupid. You don't know what he has. Goddamn it, we agreed to the rules. Goddamn it."
"I know. I am sorry. You have no idea, how sorry I am. You have always let me explore anything I wanted. And I knew the rules. I am sorry." I said with true contrition.
Jim was furious with me. And he was hurt and disappointed. But he was also erect. The vivid image of the young black delivery boy stretching my lily white pussy open aroused my husband despite his anger and disappointment with me.
"You know. You will have to be punished for this?"
I nodded in agreement. "I know. I will do anything to make this right. Just tell me what to do" I said. I was relived that Jim was not talking about ending our marriage. Any punishment short of that was a relief to me.
"First, I do not want you chatting with Sarah any more. She is a bad influence on you."
I shook my head in agreement, I knew he was right. But this was a significant punishment in itself. I had really grown to have a real connection with this young woman from South Africa. I had a genuine affection for her, and she knew how to arouse me.
But Jim was right. She had far too much control over me. If I continued to chat with her, she would get me to do some truly unthinkable acts. She had that much power over me. In fact, I was afraid she would get me to live out a deep seated fantasy I have. Something I really wanted to keep as a fantasy, not make a reality. I knew that she could push me closer and closer to a dangerous edge until I crossed a line I did not want to cross.
But I also knew that ending this relationship would be difficult for me. I really enjoyed, and liked this young woman. She was intelligent, sexy and charming. I have never been with a female sexually, but Sarah could seduce me. I often fantasized about her being my first bi-sexual experience.
But I agreed with Jim's conditions. "OK, what else can I do to make this right?"
"I will have to give that some thought. I want the punishment to fit the crime" he said. "But now, go to my dresser and get a condom and put it on me."
"You are going to wear a condom?"
"Of course. You are soiled now. Until we can get you tested, you need to use condoms with anyone, including me. You will have to go to the doctor and tell him you have been a bad girl and get tested."
I knew that this was more about shaming me than it was about real fear that I had contracted a disease. I knew that Jim was going to make me admit to some of my very close friends, with whom I occasionally have unprotected sex, that I had violated his trust. He was going to insist they use condoms with me for the foreseeable future.
As I walked to the dresser to retrieve the rubber for my husband, I knew that part of my punishment was the constant reminder that I was a bad little slut and I would not get to enjoy his semen, or anyone else's, inside me for some period of time.
And I knew I would comply. I would comply because he told me to. And I would comply because there was something in my warped psyche' that aroused me to be shamed this way. I cannot explain it, but the humiliation of being shamed for being the naughty little slut that I was with Denzel actually aroused me.