The sun emitted such stifling humidity that Renee could barely breathe. The temperature rose steadily over the past week and culminated in near hundred degree weather. Monday through Friday Renee dodged the scorching heat by staying under the office's central air all day; by the time her shift was over, the sun had almost set and the temperature cooled to a comfortable warm. It was Saturday morning and Thelma asked her to help weed, tend and plant new flowers in the terrace garden.
She couldn't turn her down, of course -- she'd been so understanding of Renee's situation that she waived the room fee indefinitely until she landed on her feet in Houston. But as she kneeled down in the grass, mahogany skin unprotected from the sun's unforgiving rays and lacking a large sunhat like the one Thelma wore, all she wanted to do was crawl back inside and collapse on her bed with the A/C on full blast. Yet she didn't complain or make a fuss. Thelma, a widow with no children, had grown close to Renee and vice versa. Even if it wasn't the activity of choice for such a hot day, Renee would gladly tough it out for her.
Besides, the discomfort she felt now paled heavily in comparison to the tension-filled week as a whole.
Cloaking her emotions was an old hat that Renee had once proudly worn. But since she'd moved on to Quentin, it was something she desperately wanted to leave behind. The invaluable feeling of being herself, the real Renee -- friendly, somewhat outspoken, bubbly with a pinch of sass -- had all but disappeared after what she'd learned exactly one week ago.
The secret gnawed at her stomach like a rabid badger and had forced her back in her protective shell. It was straight to work and back home; any invitations to hang out with the guys were turned down, not even with Wesley. In-office conversations were brief, concise. They transitioned from lighthearted joking to strictly business. The only person who gave her a hard time about it was Wesley but an ambiguous excuse like "I'm not feeling well" or "I have a lot of work to do" eased his worries.
Any interaction she had with Barrett began with bated breath and paranoia. Questions were met with one-word responses and she could barely look him in the eyes. Looking back, the ability to hide her true feelings had disintegrated so terribly that he had to know something wasn't right. To her surprise, he said nothing, never asked her what was wrong. It was almost like he avoided her. If that was the case and she wasn't imagining things, she knew the reason why.
Every night for a week she had replayed the moment they shared at his birthday party an infinite number of times, and each time she found herself smiling coyly at the thought: Barrett, large palms nestled tight on her round hips, grinning at her with the faint glimmer of...desire? But as the days went by, she'd questioned that thought. Maybe the glimmer was of admiration and delight that she had transitioned from being guarded and reserved to open and free, both inside and out. It didn't have to have romantic undertones and judging by how Barrett beamed when he introduced her to Sarah, they probably weren't.
Sarah.
Her stomach did backflips and somersaults at the mention of her name and person. Her mind was clouded with puzzled thoughts about Sarah's motives. Renee felt odd admitting it, even in her thoughts but it was the truth. Barrett was one of the most amazing men she'd ever met. Nothing, nothing could justify being unfaithful to him. He definitely deserved better. She just hoped he found out sooner rather than later. One thing was for sure, though -- she wasn't going to tell him. Renee knew all too well how it felt to have your world turned upside down and she wasn't going to be the one to make Barrett feel that pain.
"... That's why I use this fertilizer. A bit expensive for this old lady's pockets but darn if it doesn't work every time." Thelma had been talking the whole time but Renee only caught the tip end. Of course it didn't get by her. "What's wrong, dear?"
Renee faked a smile and shook her head. "Nothing. Just a bit distracted." She dug at the soil and made a large enough hole to transplant the morning glories. Thelma's eyes were steady on her and she swallowed nervously.
Great.
She was doing that 'thing' again where she stared as if she had x-ray vision to look past all the fake smiles and bullshit and find out the truth. She had cracked her the first time around with the same tactic and Renee ended up telling her all about Terrell and her past life. But there was more at stake this time around; she couldn't tell Thelma the truth.
Renee quickly glanced at Thelma through the corner of her eye and saw her smiling warmly.
"We've been at it for a while, hun. Let's go in and have some iced tea, hmm?" Thelma stood to her feet and walked towards the bed and breakfast.
Renee trailed behind her apprehensively but exhaled when she walked into lobby and plopped down in a massive wicker chair. The cold air was a welcome relief in contrast to the brutal heat outside. Thelma disappeared to the kitchen, returned with a huge pitcher of iced tea and two glasses and filled them both to the brim.
"Now," she sighed. "What's on your mind?"
Renee tapped her exposed and slightly sunburned thighs nervously. "Nothing."
"Mmhm." Thelma took a long drink from her glass and exhaled contentedly. "It's Barrett, isn't it?"
How the hell did she do that?
Renee fidgeted with her hands and sighed in exasperation. "It's a lot of things, Thelma. I don't want to talk about it, though."
"Ha! Come now, hun. You've been in Quentin long enough to know I don't accept answers like that."
"Kind of," Renee admitted.
"Hmm." Thelma paused, as if trying to analyze her answer. "You like him. And why not, dear? He is a handsome young man. Reminds me so much of my Herbert."
"What? No! I mean..." Renee stuttered. "I mean, I do. Just not in that way, Thelma."
"Uh-huh." Thelma was not convinced.
"I mean it, honestly. I just... I know something that I think would upset him."
"Oooh. You mean Sarah fooling around with Pete across the way," she said nonchalantly.
Renee's heart sank. "You... you know?"
Thelma nodded and cradled her cheek. "I saw it the other day," she explained, stared into the distance. "Pete and I have a business agreement. I buy items almost exclusively from him every month at a discount and in exchange I direct most of the people who stay here to him. It was a solid venture until he hired that little girl," she said scornfully. "I went in earlier this week to re-order items as usual and wouldn't you know she told me I had to pay full price? Hmph. I set her straight and told her I'd be back when Pete was in, he'd know what I was talking about. It was most unfortunate, the time that I chose to go back. I found them in the back of the store, both naked as the day they were born and in-mid..." Her beige skin flushed in embarrassment. "You get where I'm going, don't you?"
A massive weight was removed from Renee. Someone else knew. It wasn't just her.
And yet, that sense of betraying Barrett by not telling him increased two-fold. Two parties knew; two parties could vouch they had seen the same thing. Why hide it from him?
"So why didn't you tell Barrett?" Renee voiced her thoughts.
"The same reason you haven't told him and more. I've known Barrett since he was eight years old. Lana and I were best friends up until the day she died. That boy has gone through things you wouldn't believe in his short life. You may think I'm even more obligated to tell him because of those things but..." she exhaled. "Whatever remains hidden will eventually be revealed by the one who seeks truth. In other words, Barrett will find out on his own if enough suspicion is aroused. Judging by how utterly careless Sarah is, I'd say it's due to happen any day now."
Thelma reached over and rubbed Renee's shoulder to comfort her.
"My dear, you have already gone though your own trials and tribulations. Surround yourself with peace; don't inherit anyone else's problems to make them your own." Thelma stood up and stretched. "Oh, these old bones need to rest for a while. I'm going to take a nap. Don't be too down on yourself, okay?"
Easier said than done but it was driving her crazy. If only for one day, she'd try.
"Sure, Thelma."
Six hours and a short nap later, Renee woke to the sound of light tapping at her door. She stumbled out of bed, yawned and opened the door, assuming it was Thelma. But when her blurred view focused she turned into a statue.
"Barrett," she whispered groggily.
His grin was pleasant but there was a certain something that threw her off. He seemed... sad.
"Hey. Didn't mean to wake you. I just wanted to see how you were," he shrugged.
"Great," she lied. "I'm doing great. How about you?"
