Fe picked up and fingered the phone. She looked up at Mickey and sighed. Eventually the phone stopped vibrating and Fe sighed again.
"You know you'll have to talk to him sooner or later. Its better you do it sooner."
"Mickey, I can't. What if he doesn't want any part of the baby? What if he doesn't want any part of me?"
Mickey rubbed her hand reassuringly. "Don't live on what-ifs. Know exactly what you're doing before you do it."
At that moment, Mickey's own cell started going off. She pulled it out of her purse and looked at the number. It was her mom.
"Oh, crap. I'm so sorry Fe. I forgot. I promised my mom that I would take her to my Uncle Albert's because they're having some sort of family dinner and she doesn't want to go alone. You mind if I come back later tonight?"
Fe smiled softly at her wonderful friend. "Mick, don't worry. Go and try to have a good time. I'll see you tomorrow. Tell your mom I said hi."
Mickey looked unsure but gave her friend one last hug and gathered her things to leave. As she got to the door she stopped and turned. "Please think of him too in any decisions you make. And let me know if you need anything else tonight. I'll be over here in two seconds." She blew a kiss at Fe. "Bye babe."
With that she was gone. In the silence of the room, the pounding in Fe's head was like bombs going off, one after another. She hadn't realized that she had developed a splitting headache from crying. She stood on unsteady legs and walked to her closet to get something for her head. Right as she reached the first aid kit her dad insisted she take with her, she paused. Is this going to harm the baby? she thought and opted instead just to drink a little water instead. She had found in the past that sometimes just drinking something made the throbbing in her head subside. She grabbed a bottle out of her mini-fridge and turned to sit back on her bed. The thought of eating once again made her nauseous to her core. Suddenly she heard a loud pounding. This time it wasn't coming from her head. It was the door.
She thought it might've been Mickey, that she had forgotten something. She chuckled softly as she went and opened the door. "What'd you forget this time β"
"Joel." She was greeted by his green eyes full of concern and nervousness. He was chewing on his lip again. He stopped when he realized Fe was staring at it. He took a step forward to come in, a gesture that Fe didn't reciprocate.
"I'm sorry for coming here unexpectedly. It's just that I'm really worried about you. You rushed out of my dorm in a whirlwind. Please Fe tell me if something's wrong of if I did something wrong. I just want to make it right."
Fe felt sick to her stomach again but this time not from the baby. It was Joel's concern for her. He was the only guy that had every gotten to her the way that he did and he knew it. But it was something he had never used until not. They had never been in a situation like this before and neither of them knew how to handle it. But there was one thing Fe knew she had to say.
"I lied to you. The test was positive." She said it so quietly, it was almost a whisper.
The tightening in Joel's stomach that he had felt when Fe did the 100-yard dash out of his room returned. He had a feeling that she wasn't telling the truth because Fe had been so goofy all day up until she went to the bathroom in his room. She was even joking around about how ugly their kid together would be when they went to go pick up the test. And then, all of a sudden when she took the test and said it was "negative", she turned dark. Fe saw the sick look Joel had on his face and took a few steps back and opened the door wider to allow him to enter. He walked in, almost robotically and sat on her bed. Fe took a couple of deep breaths and closed the door as she went to sit with him.
Her dorm room was pretty tiny. It consisted of two desks, two beds, two closets and a mini-fridge. It was made of all steel and concrete. All that was missing was the gray bars. Joel usually teased Fe about it but understandably this time he was quiet. Fe put the bottle of water down, sat and took his hand.
"I'm sorry I lied to you. I just didn't know what to do at that moment. I didn't know how to deal. I mean, what are we going to do?"
Joel turned and looked at her softly. "You're going to have the baby and we'll be a family." He placed his hand on her stomach and held it there as if he was feeling invisible kicks. "The baby is a part of us. I want you and me to raise it together."
He leaned forward to kiss the mother of his unborn child but Fe turned her face. "No, we can't do this Joel. My dad is going to freak out. What about us? What about school?"
"Your dad will understand it was an accident. Sure, he'll be mad at first. So will my parents. But they know we've known each other forever and we love one another. We'll be so good together. I'll work while you go to school and then we can switch. Fe, this can work if you'll let it."