While not expecting it, Lena realized that they were moving to possibly a reconciliation. She was not holding out hope when she first admitted that she had spent the entire weekend with her lover. Neil had already asked the identity of her lover. She didn't worry about Neil trying to fight the man. That was not in his being. It would be useless anyway. Even with his bad leg, Damon could easily get the upper hand on her wimpy husband. She had to decide if she would reveal the identity of her lover. She didn't think Neil could accept her having slept with a man. She was even more sure that he could never fathom her being with a black man.
Neil was demoralized after Lena admitted not only to having an affair but telling him that he could never satisfy her the way her new lover did. In a different way, it confirmed what he already felt. His dick was indeed small. Apparently, the mystery lover had a larger penis. Instead of making him feel even worse, it was rather a sort of confirmation of what he had felt. Lena had married him not knowing about sexual fulfillment. Now that she had tasted the 'apple' and returned to face him, he was left with no questions about his penis size.
But she had returned to face him. She didn't state that she wanted out of the marriage. She had told him that she could never be satisfied with his penis size. It was incongruous. Could there be hope that she was not going to divorce him? If she didn't, could he live with knowing that another man was taking what was his? Well, it wasn't his anymore. He knew that for certain. How could he stay married to her knowing that he could never satisfy her sexually? What was her plan? Would she want to stay in the marriage and not have sex with her lover? She didn't sound like that was an option. Surely, she didn't think they could stay married and keep having sex with the other man.
Thinking logically about that scenario, Neil knew that sooner or later, someone would find out. Either the other man would step forward to assert his place or someone would discover it accidentally. Then they would have to decide what to do. When that happened, they were right back to where they stood at that moment. He didn't have the will or desire to admit that he couldn't satisfy his wife. He did love her and he just couldn't expose her to the ridicule that would surely come if she was discovered. Still, he also had to consider his ministry. What else could he do? He wasn't trained for anything else. Of course, he could always train for another occupation. However, he knew deep down that he could never attract another woman nearly as attractive and loving as Lena.
They went the rest of the week without talking much. They were both thinking a lot. It was like a standoff of who would want to open up first. Each day that went by, Neil saw the futility of divorcing Lena. Then he would be overcome with grief. For a short time, he would want to punish her. Then he would realize that he had no way of punishing her other than to reveal her secret. Now it was their secret. He mind-fucked himself until Saturday night came and he didn't have a sermon prepared for the following day. He dusted off some old outlines he could pick from. He would have to hope that the Lord inspired him when he started the sermon the following day.
Having cleared this obstacle from his mind, he decided to approach Lena to see if she had an inclination one way or another.
"Lena, we have not talked much about our problem this week."
"I didn't know what to say, Neil. Have you made up you mind what you want to do?"
"Not really. I just can't get my head completely around it. I need some sort of closure. I have been sick with worry all week. If I could just meet the man that you slept with, I think it would be helpful."
"I don't know about that, Neil. What would you do? What would you say? You really can't fight him. I wouldn't want that. That would be so Neanderthal. Besides, I am not some object men should fight over. I am a woman. I have been unfaithful and yet I don't regret it for myself. I do regret hurting you. I wish there was some way I could explain it so it would make sense."
"I know. That's why I think that finding out the whole truth would help begin the healing process."
"Neil, if I thought that would work, I would agree. However, I already told you that I can't go through life without sexual fulfillment. Now that I have had another man, it is like I could try but I would never be whole again. Just the physical stimulation would make me seek him out again."
"I certainly wouldn't try to fight him, Lena. I don't know why I think meeting this man would be beneficial. It would help me try to understand better how to address this sexual problem that I have."
"Are you serious, Neil? Meeting my lover would help you with your, uh, small penis problem? I guess I just don't understand how that would help. But I guess if you think it might help, I could approach him and see if he is willing to meet you."
This almost blew Lena's mind. Could this be real? Neil wanted to meet Damon to help him understand his own sexual inadequacies. It seemed crazy to her. If Neil saw Damon, surely, he would want a divorce. It would not be something that any man in the south at that time could accept. As for Damon, he would never agree to meet Neil. Just the fear of being exposed would be paralyzing to him. It was the only thing that Damon feared. Black men could get killed for just looking at a white woman. She thought about what Damon had told her about some seemingly conservative wives who went on dates at the cabin with healthy black men. All this was under the radar. She hadn't ever heard a rumor of such things.
Against her better judgement, she went to Damon's favorite fishing hole and found him hopefully waiting for her. He was worried that everything was about to explode. He had even started making contingency plans to go live with a cousin in Ohio. If things turned out bad, he might have to escape in the cover of darkness.
When Lena told him that Neil wanted to meet him, Damon was shocked. He, like Lena, couldn't imagine a positive outcome of that happening. Lena told him that as illogical as it seemed, Neil really thought it would help. Maybe it was his way of accepting what had happened. Damon also realized that it could be a trap. Even though Neil was a minister, Damon knew that hot passion was responsible for numerous deaths in lover's triangles. They talked this through. It was so tense that neither one even thought of sex. After what seemed like an hour, Damon agreed that Lena would need to prepare Neil for this meeting by setting some very stringent requirements.
She would extract Neil's promise not to reveal to anyone else what had been happening. Neil had to promise to be civil in the meeting. Lena knew Neil could do this having been trained to handle uncomfortable situations. Even though this was personal, it was still a straightforward situation. She still left Neil an out if he wanted to divorce her. She would work with him on some type of cover story so he could remain in the ministry.
When she presented this to Neil, he had to agree or there would be no meeting. She also warned Neil that he would never suspect who the man was and that he could not disregard the conditions even when he met the man. She told him that he would be surprised if not shocked when he met her lover.
By this time, Damon was starting to plan one of the repairs to the church he had taken on. He came to the parsonage one evening ostensibly to tell Neil about the materials and expected labor charges. When he got there, Lena fixed them all an iced tea. They sat at the kitchen table. Neil expected a quick description and list of materials that Damon would need. He didn't seem to notice that Damon didn't have a list with him. He just assumed that he had a good memory.