"Let it not turn blue, Please let it not turn blue," I had been praying this way for the past ten minutes. My eyes were screwed up tight and I dared not look. The kitchen timer that I had brought along with me finally rang out and I opened my eyes and nearly threw up. It was blue.
"Candice, what does it say?" Jesse called from the other side of the door. I looked at the closed door in shock and suddenly couldn't find the words to say anything. I opened the door and stared at him.
"Hey papa," I whispered.
"No way," he whispered back. "Are you sure? I mean absolutely positive?"
"As positive as this test in my hand," I waved it for emphasis. I knew exactly when this had happened too. Jesse and I had been celebrating his graduation and MBA from Washington University. It turns out that the soul shattering sex that night was also potentially life shattering as well.
"We should get married," he said after a dozen heartbeats.
"Married? How about we get used to the idea of having a baby, okay?" I sank into his arms and sighed heavily. A baby? What the hell was I going to do with a baby?
Suddenly a sob rocked my body and I sank to my knees. I was scared shitless and I didn't know the words to use to let Jesse know. I'm just 22 years old, I'm barely out of childhood myself! Jesse scooped me up and carried me to the bed and held me while I babbled about being a baby. When I finally stopped my running monologue he kissed my forehead and wiped my tears with the front of his shirt.
"You'll me a great mom, but Candice, if that isn't the path you want to choose..." he gulped and then whispered, "I understand. And I'll stand by your decision, no matter what."
"Jesse," I whispered with a shake of my head. "I would never do that to you. I'm sorry, but you're stuck with meβus--for the rest of your life."