International Incident

October 3, 2024

"Good evening from Washington University in St. Louis. I'm John Harrington of ABS News, and I welcome you to the first of three debates between Senator Mark Robinson of New York and Senator Ray Sherman of Florida. These debates are sponsored by the Commission on Presidential Debates. This debate will last ninety minutes, and will adhere to the rules agreed to beforehand by representatives of the candidates. The audience will remain silent during this debate...except for now, as they join me in welcoming Senator Robinson and Senator Sherman."

Mark and Ray both approached the podium and shook hands. Both men looked like they wanted to pummel each other.

"As determined by a coin flip, the first question goes to Senator Robinson. For the past few weeks, your campaign has been reeling from the revelation by Australia's Channel Six that in the late-2010s, you fathered a child with a young Australian woman named Kylie Maree Connolly. Earlier this week, Channel Six reporter Hugh Macquarie broke the news that in 2013, five years prior to meeting you, Kylie posed nude for the Australian erotic website Larrikin Lust. Your campaign has not commented on this latest revelation about the mother of your child. Do you care to comment now?"

"Well, first, John, I would like to thank the sponsors of this debate and the people of St. Louis for hosting this debate. I'd also like to thank Senator Sherman for participating. I must say that I'm horrified-not by what Kylie Connolly did when she was twenty years old, but by the obsession of the media, both here and in Australia, with the details of our personal life. I fail to see what Kylie's photos have to do with the issues we're supposed to be discussing tonight. I fail to see-"

"You fail to see a lot, Senator Robinson," Ray interjected.

"Excuse me, Senator Sherman," John replied, "you'll have plenty of time to respond."

"Well, I can't let Senator Robinson's attempt to spin the truth go without an immediate response!" Ray yelled. "He doesn't see that this is about character-"

"I will not have you question my character, Senator Sherman," Mark snapped.

"Of course. You don't want anyone questioning your character."

"This election, Senator Sherman, this election is not supposed to be about who's morally superior. It's supposed to be about whose ideas are superior."

"Yes, and my ideas are superior as well," Ray remarked, to loud boos from the audience.

"Senator Sherman," John shouted, "I insist that you stop with your interruption of Senator Robinson."

"Well, he has nothing relevant to say about this issue!"

"That's not for you to determine," John replied.

"Senator Sherman, if I may finish," Mark said sternly.

"Feel free to continue, Senator Robinson."

"I fail to see what the constant discussion of my relationship with Kylie has to do with solving this country's problems."

"Senator Sherman," said an irritated John, "you have a 90-second rebuttal."

"Senator Robinson just said it: He fails to see what the discussion of his personal life has to do with solving this country's problems. Of course he doesn't see it. He and his party don't see it. They don't understand that our problems fundamentally stem from a lack of character in this country. You know, when I grew up, I learned that character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking. We all know what Senator Robinson does when nobody's looking. He gets young girls drunk and he-"

"Senator Sherman, that is inappropriate and you know it!" John yelled, as the audience again booed Ray.

"I'm sorry," Ray replied with false regret. "But it just outrages me that this man, this absentee father-"

The audience booed so loudly the rest of Ray's words were drowned out.

Suddenly, John grabbed his microphone, stood up and turned to the audience. "Ladies and gentlemen, I must urge you to remain silent. Yes, some of the rhetoric you'll hear tonight may be distasteful, but disruptions from the audience will not be tolerated."

The audience booed John's remarks as well.

The moderator returned to his seat. "Senator Robinson, Senator Sherman is supposed to receive the next question, but due to the nature of his remarks, I feel it's only fair that you get to respond."

Just before he replied, Mark distinctly heard a woman softly crying a few rows back. He looked to see who it was, and saw a woman who bore a strong resemblance to Kylie. It couldn't be her, Mark thought. Why the hell would she be here?

"Senator Sherman...Senator Sherman can insult me all he wants. I'm a grown man and I can handle it. What I can't handle is Senator Sherman insulting the intelligence of the American public. He and his campaign keep bringing up my personal life because they don't want to talk about improving our economy, or reducing gun violence, or expanding health care, or confronting the climate crisis. He has no solutions to problems. All he has is sarcasm and pandering."

For the next hour and a half, Ray continued to attack Mark over his relationship with Kylie, and Mark continued to highlight Ray's apparent unwillingness to discuss issues. At the end of the debate, John directed both candidates to give their closing statements, with Ray going first.

"Thank you, John. As I've tried to emphasize tonight, this election is indeed a character election. Senator Robinson is a deeply deceptive man, and he simply cannot be trusted. He hid his relationship and his child from the American people. What else is he hiding from the American people? What else is he lying about? What else is he not telling us? We can't trust him! Do we want someone who lies, someone who we fundamentally cannot trust, occupying the White House? We don't need that. The American people need someone they can trust, someone who won't hide things from the American people. I am that man, and on November 5, I humbly ask for your vote."

"Thank you, Senator Sherman. And now, Senator Robinson."

"Thank you, John, and once again, thanks to Washington University for hosting this debate and to the people of St. Louis for their graciousness. I stand before you as an imperfect man. I have made many mistakes...but I have learned from them all. I may not have the experience Senator Sherman has...but I ask you: what has he done with that experience? What has he done to improve your lives during his years in the Senate? What has he done to reduce your health care costs, to keep your air and water clean, to protect your children and grandchildren from gun violence? I ask for your vote on November 5 because I'm willing to do the hard work needed to lift this country up and ensure that America's potential is fully realized. This is the most important election of our collective lifetimes...and I ask you to consider all that is at stake before you vote. Thank you."

"And with that," John declared, "we conclude tonight's debate. We hope that you've enjoyed this vigorous and insightful discussion. From St. Louis, I'm John Harrington. Thank you and good night."

Mark and Ray shook hands again and began to speak to their respective campaign staff members as the telecast went off the air. As Mark prepared to leave the building, he was approached by a young blonde lady.

"Kylie?"

"Hi."

Suddenly, Mark grabbed Kylie by the arm, ran to a nearby closet, and closed the door.

"What the fuck are you doing here? How did you get here?"

"I had to get out of Sydney before they aired the story about the photos."

"Where's Edward?"

"He's with Mum."

"Are you OK?"

"I've been better, obviously."

"Do you need anything?"

"Maybe a break."

"I don't think I can help you with that one."

"Mark, I don't know what I'm going to do...I know the university's gonna get rid of me now."

"Look, I'll do whatever I can for you, OK? But you've got to try to lay low for a while, at least for a few weeks, until the election's over."

"OK. I'll try."

"Thanks. Look, we really should get out of here..."

"OK. I'll leave first and keep my head down."

"Good."

"Mark?"

"Yes."

"Best of luck."

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

Kylie kissed Mark on the cheek and turned to walk away. Mark froze at the sight of her ass-the ass he fondled and caressed and licked and fucked on that steamy night six years ago-as she walked through the door, and for a moment, he lost all sense of time. Then he touched his cheek, drew a deep breath, and took the opposite path out of the building.