After he left Ethan's house, Mason went home. He had some serious thinking to do. Losing Katrina had hurt even though he had known ever since Ethan first saw the girls that it was going to happen. But he had held on to the bitter end that she would change her mind. He hadn't lied when he told Ethan that he would always love her but now he had no choice but to put his feelings on a shelf somewhere and try to forget about her. If he stayed where he was, that would never happen and at some point, he would run into them and he didn't think that he could stand that. He also meant it when he congratulated Ethan; he knew that Katrina and the girls would be well loved and cared for, otherwise he wouldn't have released them into Ethan's care.
Mason sat down at his desk, leaned back into his massive chair and closed his eyes. He couldn't stay here; he would have to move his practice to somewhere else, the question was where. He thought about Eustace Matthews, Eustace had been asking him to partner with him for years and Mason had always declined. Just when he thought it might be a good move, he remembered that Ethan sometimes saw Eustace on a professional basis. He didn't know if he still did and if he wasn't then maybe... but did he want to take the chance that Ethan would just pop up one day? But the problem wasn't Ethan, it was Katrina; she was the one that he couldn't bear to see and the chances of her going to Boston were nil...he hoped.
Mason picked up the phone and called Eustace's office.
"Eustace, Mason Donahue here! How in the hell are you? Glad to hear it, I have a question for you; is that offer to combine our offices still open? It is? Great! Why don't I come to see you in a few days? I've got some things to finish up here. I'll see you then."
Mason hung up the phone, stood up and stretched. He was every bit as big as Ethan except that his hair was dark brown as were his eyes. If he and Ethan had fought, it would have been close; the possibility that they would have killed each other was very real. That was another reason why he backed down, he didn't want to take the risk of both of them dying and leaving Katrina and the girls alone and had he won there was a good chance that she wouldn't have taken him as a mate anyway and would have possibly hated him. Other than surviving a fight with Ethan, the only choice that he had was to let her choose between them without her actually being aware that she was choosing. What he hadn't counted on was her making her choice so soon after the girls were born but yet he stayed in hopes that she would change her mind or that Ethan would fail. Neither of which happened.
He opened up the photo app on his cell phone and looked at all of the pictures he had of her and the girls, "they should be mine." he muttered. But they weren't and they never would be except as a friend and he just couldn't think of her like that right now. He didn't fool himself, if Katrina called him right now he would drop everything and go to her the consequences be damned. He realized that he had to start getting over her, he was going to have a hard enough time as it was explaining to his mate when he found her how he still loved another.
Mason went to his room and began to make preparations to leave; he wanted to see Katrina just once more. He took a deep breath and pushed the thought away, no good would come of it. Like him, Ethan didn't make idle threats; Ethan really would kill him or try to if he tried to see Katrina without his knowledge or permission. He tried to think of a viable reason to ask to see her and the girls but he couldn't. Mason sighed, went to the closet and pulled out a suitcase and threw it on the bed. There was no choice, he had to leave.
Antoinette or Toni as her friends called her had a horrible headache; she had just finished her shift at the hospital as a third year resident and she still had to study for boards. Some of the others were going out for drinks and asked her to go along but she refused, she had to pass boards the first time around, this was a failure is not an option situation or at least she told herself that it was but right now all she wanted to do was go home, take a hot shower and go to sleep.
She made it home just after nine pm, early enough to study a little but the insistent headache wasn't going to allow it. She noticed the answering machine light blinking and groaned. She had forgotten to call her on again off again boyfriend James back.
"Damn it!" she cursed as she played back the first of six messages.
"Hi sweetie, where are you? I'm waiting!"
Toni frowned and played the next message.
"Toni? Did you forget we were meeting for drinks after your shift?"
"Oh shit!" she cursed as she dialed James' cell phone number. He answered after the third ring.
"Toni? Where in the fuck are you? I've been waiting for almost an hour and a half!"
"I am so sorry, I got out late and I have this headache- give me twenty minutes and I'll be there."
She hung up and wondered why she just didn't tell him that she couldn't make it. She knew why; this wasn't the first time that she had spaced out on their plans, it was one of the reasons why they kept breaking up. She rushed to the bedroom, popped two aspirin and hopped into the shower. The hot water felt good to her tense, aching muscles and she wished that she could have stayed in the shower longer but James was waiting. She quickly oiled her dark brown skin, ran a brush through her short hair and threw on whatever clothes she came to first hoping that they matched and ran out of the door.
James was tapping his foot impatiently when she got to the bar, she braced herself for his tirade about her always forgetting their plans, and she never said anything because he was right.
"I'm glad that you could fit me in." James said snidely not even trying to hide his irritation.
Toni looked at him, he was gorgeous, tall, black haired and blue eyed. Everyone she knew wondered how she had managed to catch the handsome fourth year resident but the truth of it was; she didn't know herself. She was as short as he was tall, as dark as he was light and well... fat as compared to his trim athletic build. She didn't think that she was ugly but she was no beauty queen either. She didn't understand the attraction and why he kept coming back after each break up.
"Damn it Toni! You promised to do better!"
"I know! I'm sorry. I got caught up at work." Toni said knowing that he wasn't buying it; she always gave the same excuse.
She felt her eyes burn with tears, it wasn't so much because James was mad at her; that was part of it but she was exhausted, her head hurt and she was stressed about boards even though they were a ways off. Seeing her eyes fill with tears, James stopped his tirade. He could never stand to see her cry.
"Alright, don't cry." he said taking her into his arms.
Toni hugged him back and rested her head against his chest, she was so damned tired.
"Baby, I'm sorry. It's just that I haven't seen you since the end of my rotation two days ago and I missed you. Come on, let's go and tuck you into bed."
It was times like this that Toni thought that she loved James but she didn't deserve him and it was time that she told him that but not tonight, she needed him.
James walked her home and up to her apartment, she knew that he wanted to spend the night with her even if they did nothing more than lie in bed and hold each other. Tonight she needed that, she was very aware that she was using him but she needed to be comforted and he was willing.
James looked through her cabinets for her stash of chamomile tea finding it in the cabinet above the sink and wondered why she kept moving it from place to place.
"Get ready for bed while I make you some tea." he told her as he put the tea kettle on.
Toni changed into her pajamas and climbed into bed, wearing pajamas was her way of telling him that she wasn't interested in sex, his making her tea was his way of telling her that sex wasn't expected. In truth, all they usually did was sleep together, there was very little sex. It didn't seem to bother James and it really didn't bother her either. The times that they did have sex were unremarkable at best with James enjoying it far more than she did.
James brought her the tea made just the way she liked it, strong with a hint of honey. As she sipped her tea, James changed into the shorts that he kept at her place and climbed into bed next to her and waited for her to finish her tea. When she was finished, he took the mug from her and took her into his arms; once again she wondered why James kept coming back.
"James?"
"Hmmm?"
"Why do you keep coming back?" she asked.
