The news is full of people worrying about how easy it is for teenagers to get access to porn nowadays. But teenagers have always had access to porn, just in different formats. My dad's generation talked about finding stashes of porn mags in bushes in the park. I had access to porn on Usenet and other early internet services.
Unless you were at a university or a company with a very expensive connection you probably couldn't download anything from alt.binaries. And with so little bandwidth to share, downloading binaries would have been noticed. Words would have been had. P45s would have been issued.
I was just 18 when we got a dialup account, so I downloaded text porn at home.
I liked the stories, of course. I also liked the ads. The ads were really little stories with lots of the details left out. If you read an ad you could make up the story yourself.
I liked reading the ads from couples who wanted another man. And I always imagined myself as the husband whose wife was pleasured by the man of men they recruited. And being 18 I could enjoy a lot of stories every night.
By the time I started university I knew that I had a kink. But I also knew that university was a whole new world. I'd go in as someone whose only topic of conversation was what they studied at A Level and I'd leave a remade person. Or that's sort of what I hoped.
That's sort of what happened. But now how I expected.
* * *
The Students' Union ran a big party on the Friday night of the first week. I put on my best shirt and trousers and went along to the club but I was bricking it. I had no social skills. I had a horrible feeling that I'd end up drinking three pints of nasty lager, feeling unwell and going home without meeting anyone.
Weirdly, that's not what happened.
I didn't know anyone, so I went straight to the bar for a discount pint. As I found a place to wait I felt a light hand on my shoulder. A Chinese looking girl spoke to me.
"Hello, I'm Hua, who are you?"
Her sentence structure sounded a bit formal and forced but this was better than I had hoped for, so I smiled.
"I'm Rufus. Pleased to meet you, Hua. Would you like a drink?"
"Oh, thank you but no. Alcohol makes my skin go red. Is there a quiet place where we could chat?"
Eventually we found what the club called the chill-out room. It just had some ambient music and we could hear each other really easily.
Hua explained that she was a foreign exchange student. One of her goals was to improve her English.
"What are the other goals?" I asked.
"One is that I've never kissed a boy before. Maybe I could reach that goal tonight."
"That goal is yours for the taking. If you reach for it I think you'll find someone very willing to kiss you."
Hua's kiss was soft and gentle. I responded with a little more passion and she then kicked it up a level. Our tongues duelled and I was in heaven. I had almost not come out. I thought the event would be a drunken disaster for me. Instead, I was kissing a very pretty Chinese girl and neither of us had even bought a drink.
We spent a long time in that chill-out room. Only kissing, of course. But I couldn't have been happier. Eventually we paused and I spoke.
"Hua, I'd really like to see you again. Is that OK?"
"Of course, I have not practised English tonight. We can meet in the library lobby at 12 tomorrow. We can speak and then maybe more."
"That sounds brilliant. I'll wait by the phone booths."
"I'll recognise you, silly Rufus," she teased. You have red hair. Even here in Britain you are a bit rare."
* * *
I didn't want to be late, so I was in the library lobby at 11:30 the next morning, of course. Hua was pretty much on time.
"It's about time for lunch. Where would you like to eat?"
"In our English courses they told me about a thing called a 'greasy spoon café'. Do you know if there is one near here?"
"There's normally at least one on every high street and I'm sure there'll be one near a university campus. Let's walk and explore."
We found the nearest greasy spoon and Hua was delighted to try a full English breakfast for her lunch. We spoke while we ate and I realised that Hua wasn't just pretty, she was determined. It was probably even more attractive than her face and figure.
"Thank you for lunch, Rufus. I am staying in the Margaret Halls. Would you like to see?"
I was as excited as I could possibly be. Of course I wanted an invitation to her room. When we got there, Hua invited me to kiss her again. Then she asked if I was interested in taking things further.
"I am sure I'd be happy to do anything you want, Hua. You set the pace. I'll let you know if you go too fast for me."
"OK. Undress me."
I knew I had to do this well. I had to make her feel special, even if she was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt. So I gently kissed her body as I removed each item of her outer clothing. I even kissed her feet when I removed her boots and socks. She was standing in front of me in simple white cotton knickers and a white bra, supporting a tiny pair of breasts.
"May I remove these, too?"
"Only after I have removed yours. We should be equal. That is important in British culture, right?"
"Yes, that sounds very good."
I was excited but a little worried that she might find my cotton briefs with a racing car motif a bit childish. I hadn't expected anything like this today. I was completely unprepared for Hua.
"Now, you can take my bra off."
I'd never done that before, so working out how to undo the clasp without looking was a bit odd. But eventually I got it and threw her bra on her bed. I bent down and kissed each of her nipples.
"That was nice, Rufus. But I want something nicer. Please take off my knickers. Then, you can kneel in front of me."
A real life girl was letting me completely undress her. I was so excited. But even better, she was taking command. She was giving orders. She was making me her servant. As I knelt before her I had so many contact ads and erotic stories running through my teenage brain.
"Breathe deeply, Rufus." She commanded.
I took the initiative to move my face closer to her tiny little black bush before breathing in deeply and swooning at her scent.
"I'm going to lie down. You're going to serve me and follow my instructions closely. Do you understand?"
"Yes. You give me orders and I give you pleasure."
"Good. Now I want you to..."
Hua was a good teacher. I had literally no idea how to give oral sex to a woman. Her tutorial set me on the path to success. I knew I had achieved success when I heard her gasp and moan as she came. As I moved my lips away I could see quite a lot of creamy juice that must have come from her and not me. I was pretty proud of giving a girl an orgasm on my first go, even if I was following explicit instructions.
"Now, we'll stand up again and I'll remove your underwear."
I suppose there's no way this couldn't have been a bit embarrassing but it was a whole lot better than wanking in my own dorm room. I was already erect and my foreskin had pulled back. I hoped that she wasn't disappointed.
"Oh, you have ginger pubes, too. That's so hot! Now, you lie back and tell me how you want it."