"I need to talk to you, Mark."
It was bed time. I was about to shut off the lights and pretend to be asleep for a bit before starting my nightly ritual. Sneaking out of my room, past my mom's room, to the office where the shared computer was. A bit of Vaseline and some headphones were stashed under my bed. I so looked forward to this nightly ritual that bedtime itself excited me. I was beginning to get hard when my mom's voice came emanating softly from the door.
"Um yeah? What is it?" Trying my best not to be annoyed.
"Mark... We've never really had 'the talk'."
My mom stepped into the room and sat at the foot of my bed. She was scantily clad, as per usual, in just an oversized t-shirt. Her nipples were visible and her slender thighs were visible as she spread out on the bed.
"Okay, um...," I was legitimately at a loss for words. "I mean they covered all that stuff at school last year."
She looked at me sympathetically and put her hand on my leg.
"There are things they don't really talk about in those classes. Things you need to understand. Things I don't want to be confused about if you're just learning about it all, um, online."
My heart froze and my stomach sank. Did I forget to clear the history or sign out of an account? Fuck. Fuuuck.
"So... Like what?" I asked carefully. My mind raced as I thought about the stuff I was jacking off to this year. Amateur interracial. Milfs. Blacked. In my depravity I delved into even more hardcore stuff.
"Well, baby..." She shifted around on the bed to face me and I saw a flash of dark fuzzy hair up her long t shirt. I quickly looked away. I hope she didn't catch me looking.
"So, um... I want you to know that for your age, it's normal to um... It's just that porn has these unrealistic expectations and I don't want..." She was clearly searching for words. "You know that you're probably normal, right baby? Like the people in porn aren't real."
My heart raced. She had likely seen the stuff I'd been looking at. I realized too that my mom definitely had wine on her breath. "O.... Kay..." I trailed off. We sat in silence for what felt like forever.
"It's just, I saw some of the stuff, or all of the stuff, you were looking at online last night."
I froze. "It's just porn, it doesn't mean anything. It's just normal porn."
"You can't seriously tell me that that's normal porn." She frowned.
"It's stuff that guys in my generation look at now. It's just normal stuff."
"Okay well, even if that's true, just know that... Just know that the guys in those videos are not average. It's okay to be average."
"Why do you think I'm... I mean, where are you getting this idea that I'm..." As I posed the question I remembered exactly what I had been looking at when I came. Cuckold Sessions videos where the white guy is humiliated by his girlfriend cheating with a black guy. Then another rabbit hole into amateur cuckolding vids. Then Cuckold hypno vids.
My mom bit her lip and leaned in closer. "Baby please... if you're feeling bad about yourself, those videos are not the answer. And if this is about you not being able to... Make a girl happy..."
I was beet red. "Mom!!! I'm not, I just --"
"I know that when Alexa left you last year you took it pretty hard, and when you told me she left you for a guy on the basketball team I didn't realize... The white guys in those videos you're watching, they're watching... Black men have sex with their girlfriends. They're masturbating while they watch their girlfriends have sex with black men." The thought of those videos, and of my mom describing them, made me swell with confused arousal.
Now we were both beet red. After an uncomfortable silence and avoiding each other's gaze I looked at my mom. She was looking down at the bed with wide eyes. I followed her gaze to see that she was staring at a tiny bump in the blanket. She was staring at my hardon.
I gasped and she looked away quickly.
"So... It's true? Are you... Do you wish you were the guys in the video? And that the girl was Alexa?"
I started to whimper. I wanted to touch my hardon so badly. I felt a thrill talking about this with a real live girl in person, even if it was Mom.
"She cheated..." I gulped. I had started to cry. "At a party... Everyone knew... I found her in the room after... On the bed, she..."
My mom moved in closer so that we were both sitting up in bed opposite each other. I tried to steal a look through my flooded eyes up the long t-shirt. In the dark light I saw a fuzz poking out.
"She told me to lie down, she sat on my face, and," I couldn't believe I was saying this out loud. "Mommy, there was so much, I couldn't breathe, I had to, it was so sour..."
My mom was staring intently at me and I was no longer trying to hide my erection.
"She said.... She was so mean, she made me feel so bad."
My mom put her hand on my lap right next to the little tent between my legs.
"What did she say to you baby?" My mom leaned in and started running her fingers through my hair. She was practically on top of me now.
"She said..." I was panting now and shifting around uncomfortably, trying to feel the thin blanket run across my erection. "She said she fucked Hakeem, she said my dick was too small, she said we never had sex and I was still a virgin."
Tears were running down my cheeks now. "Wait, what do you mean baby? I thought you too... Weren't you having sex?"
I sniffled and wiped my runny nose.
"She said... It was too small and I never got it inside her, I just had sex with her pussy lips."
My mom seemed genuinely confused and concerned. "That's not possible baby, she just wanted to hurt you. Unless it's really, really..." She looked down at the little tent between my legs. I was still shifting around to feel the blanket sliding on my erection. I didn't realize that I had wriggled around so much that the blanket was all but off of me. I had stopped crying and was looking away while my mother soothed me.
"So that's why you watch that stuff. You're worried you can't please a girl. You're maybe embarrassed by black guys or something."
Mom leaned in to give me a kiss on the cheek and I panicked. She was drunk and I didn't know what to do. This whole situation was so surreal.
I scooted back a bit on the bed and that's when it happened. The blanket stayed put while I scooted back. My little erection sprang free.
I gasped and froze. Mom looked with wide eyes down at me.
I didn't move a muscle. I also looked down and saw my little white erection twitching, the head bright pink and dribbling precum. My ballsack pulled tight up against my body from fear, barely the size of a two marbles.
Mom was also frozen staring. I didn't know what to do so I started talking.
"Do you think Alexa was right, that I was too small to get inside her?"
My mom was silent for about ten seconds, still staring.
