It was only after Quinn left the room that I realized how I would feel if anyone knew that we were having sex with each other. Our friends would read way more into it than there was. They would undoubtedly make this huge deal out of it. They all knew how Quinn and I felt about commitment and relationships. It wasn't something either of us tried to hide. It was a little late for me to be anxious about it at this point but I couldn't help that either. With those ideas in my head I eventually fell asleep.
***
Quinn made his way back to the couch with his pillow and blanket. He knew he would have rather stayed but something in Raven's demeanor after the sex had made him decide to get up and leave. Quinn was a male used to getting his way with women so he'd be lying to himself if he said that Raven's behavior hadn't put him out some. He didn't want to think about it too much for obvious reasons.
Quinn switched on a lamp then turned off the TV just as Dylan and Courtney came back into the room. They all stood in the middle of the floor looking at each other. From the looks on their faces Quinn was wondering where the two of them had come from? He had no doubt that they had been fucking and he hoped it wasn't in someplace like his kitchen or god forbid, the kitchen table. He started to ask them about it just as twin smiles broke out on their faces. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was up with the Kool-Aid smiles.
He stuttered as he started to speak, "wh-what have you guys been up to?" His eyes met Dylan's in the semi dark room. The look Dylan gave him confirmed his suspicions.
"We've been in the kitchen eating brownies." Dylan smirked. "Where have you been?"
Quinn ignored them as they both started to laugh and giggle. The fact they were trying "so hard" to keep the laughs in annoyed him further. He turned his back on them and lay down on his couch underneath his blanket blocking them out.
The next morning when everyone was getting up to go home Dylan pulled Quinn aside while they were in the kitchen going through his refrigerator and told him what any good friend would in this situation. He told Quinn that neither he nor Courtney would say anything to anyone about the night before. Quinn was glad for that because he didn't even know what he wanted to do about it and if every one of his friends knew it would only complicate things further.
***
I guess I woke up pretty late the next morning because after I had gotten ready to go home I found out that I was the only one left in the apartment. Quinn left a note saying that he had some things to take care and would call me later. I actually sighed in relief when I read it because after what happened the night before I was not ready to face him.
***
A week had passed and I could count on one hand the amount of times that Quinn and I had spoken briefly on the phone. The conversations had all been short and to the point. This wasn't like us at all and I guessed that it wasn't going to get better anytime soon because I couldn't force myself to call him more than I had been, even though I wanted to desperately. I had one more week before I was back on duty so I decided not to sit around and wait on Quinn to let me know whether or not we were okay.
The last few days had given me ample time to think about the last real conversation Quinn and I had the night I got back into town. I admitted to myself that I probably could have handled the conversation better. It's just I didn't think I would have to. Quinn was Quinn. He wasn't falling for me and I damn sure wasn't falling for him, which was why I was so pissed, feeling like shit was happening that I couldn't control.
I decided to go out and have a drink on Thursday night. When I called Taylor to see if she wanted to accompany me she told me that she was busy and would probably be for the next little while.
What she actually said after hello was, "no—wait—babbyyy—stop" then "ohmygodohmygodohmygod", at which point I hung up. I couldn't reach Courtney and Aisha was out of town. That left me on my lonesome.
An hour later I stood looking at myself in the full length mirror attached to my closet door in my bedroom. My dress was black, skintight and off -the-shoulder. It reached to the middle of my thighs and it was made out of leather. My matching four inch boots came about half way up my calves.
I wore black eye liner and mascara. My eye shadow matched my look as well. I wore shiny lip gloss and of course my signature earrings. I'd gotten my wild hair tamed and now sported a head full of curls.
I was pleased as I inspected myself. I looked like I was straight out of the eighties, my favorite decade for fashion and music. Well that and the early nineties, gotta have my tiny tees and baggy jeans and my combat boots.
Since I was driving tonight I decided that I wouldn't drink much. The only place that I could go on a Thursday night, have a good time, and not drink too much was to Eruptions, a strip club that I frequented when I had the time.
It was cold outside but I hadn't bothered with a jacket, which was probably a bad idea since my nipples were as hard as ice cubes by the time I made it to my car to get in. I turned the ignition on and air blew out of the vent immediately. It wasn't warm yet so I had to turn it off.
I had to turn down the volume on my stereo as well since it came on blasting from the last time i'd been in my car. I immediately started bobbing my head to Dr. Feelgood until the song got to the chorus and Vince started singing (He's the one they call Dr. Feelgood. He's the one that makes you feel alright).
The words instantly brought to mind Quinn in a sexual way and as disgusted as I was at myself because of it, I unhesitatingly pressed the eject button so that the CD came out. The last person I wanted to be thinking about right now was Quinn.
I waited for my car to warm up then I pulled out of my driveway and sped down the street, still annoyed at myself.
The bright neon lights of the Eruptions sign could be seen like a mile away I thought, as I pulled into the parking lot. It was packed as usual but I found a good spot between a pimped-out lime green Chevy with huge rims and a white Lincoln navigator.
Once I made it inside the club I did a walk through. If I was with my girls we would go to a booth and get some drinks just like at any other night club. If I was with Quinn and the rest of the guys we would sit somewhere closest to the action. I walked through to the back of the club and was about to head to the second level when I saw Quinn, with a little backwards glance over my shoulder. He was sitting at a table with Dylan, Courtney and some chick I didn't know.
I went from being in chill mode to heated, in a flash.
While I stood there with my hand on the rail, weighing my options, they seemed to me to be having a great little time. They were all laughing and joking around. I asked myself if I should go over to the table and fuck one of them up, maybe all of them because Courtney was there and she was my best friend. Or should I shake it off? Quinn was single; he could do what he wanted to. Beyond that even, we were just friends. Why the hell was I having to remind myself of that so much lately?
My good sense overruled my emotions after a minute and I decided to just pretend they weren't there. I continued up the stairs and into the lounge but I didn't stay long. I couldn't keep my mind from thinking about the foursome down stairs. Suddenly I didn't even feel like hanging out. I felt so completely impotent that I wanted to punch someone.
Then I remembered I still had the number from that guy I'd met last week. I decided to call him and see if he wanted to meet me someplace. I'd exercise thoughts of Quinn right on out of my head. The thought made me smile and then laugh. I so needed to get laid, that's all this was. I was not the celibate type and I definitely wasn't the one man kind, not even at a time. I needed to just do what I did best and I would be fine.
I was on my way back down the stairs when they were coming up. I again acted like they weren't there. I passed Dylan, then Courtney, the brunette I didn't know and then Quinn. As I walked to move past him he gripped my arm. I snatched my arm away from his hands and kept walking away.
I hated admitting that the little scene had rained some on my parade. I felt betrayed and I don't know why, I certainly didn't have any reason to. It was worse because Quinn didn't even bother to come outside to see if I was okay. As soon as I got into my car again I went through the contacts in my phone and found the number I was looking for.
***
When Raven walked away after forcefully pulling away from him Quinn couldn't have felt more bewildered. He looked to Dylan who was also looking at him with a telling look on his face. But Quinn was sure that hadn't been what it had appeared to be.
Nope and he hadn't felt in the wrong either he told himself, as he followed Dylan and the girls upstairs instead of going to check on what was up with Raven. He was too agitated right now anyway and might say something he would later regret.
Damn he fumed. Hadn't she been the one who had pumped the brakes the last time that they were together? He was glad that she had because for a minute there he had taken leave of his senses and now she was acting like she had an attitude with him or something. This is why he didn't get emotionally involved with females.
