Chapter 1
When I look back I realised that what happened was inevitable, it was like a perfect set of circumstances came together and changed not only my life but all those I cared most deeply about. It shouldn't have ended the way it did, but it did. Do I have any regrets? Yes, the way it ended. But what happened prior to that? God, no! I look back at what I did and what I experienced and it still sends shivers down my spine!
So if you'll indulge me, I'll set the scene. I was 45, married with 2 kids. A son aged 21 in his final year at college and an 18 year old daughter just about to go to college. The same college that their father went to which was a long family tradition on his side. I also went to the same college but on a tennis scholarship. It's where I met my future husband. He was from a wealthy family and obviously went straight to work for the family law firm. Some people may have looked at this and said it was only because he was the son of the boss. In fact he was a rather good lawyer whose progress was mainly down to his intellect and hard work. And of course that brought substantial rewards.
His family were at first a bit hesitant when he introduced me to them. I think they'd always had plans for him to marry into another wealthy family rather than someone who needed a scholarship to go to college but I think my promise of a professional tennis career when I finished college kind of dazzled them and they accepted me. My husband was crazy about me and insisted we got married. I was a bit hesitant as I was only 21 but agreed on condition that we put off having kids so I could focus on my tennis career. He was fine with that as he needed all his energy to prove himself in his father's law firm and long nights with a crying baby wouldn't help that! So it was all looking great!
My tennis career on the pro circuit took a bit of time to get going but eventually the results started to come and I was ranked in the world top 20. I was super happy as you have no idea just how competitive it is and my husband's family were not shy in letting everyone know about the 'famous tennis pro' their son was married to!
Of course being a professional athlete I was super fit. 5'8, a very toned firm 140lbs with low body fat and great endurance. I was naturally blonde from my parents Swedish heritage, with big blue eyes and thankfully, for an athlete, small A cup breasts. My husband always told me how beautiful I was and that I turned heads anywhere I went! I wasn't so sure in my younger years and wanted to be known for my tennis and not my looks. There are plenty of players like that whom I sure I don't need to name!
So everything was going great until a game on grass. There had been some light rain and the surface was a bit damp but deemed playable. I was fine with that until I slid reaching to return serve and felt my knee literally explode. I crumpled to the floor in complete agony. It was my cruciate ligament. Despite surgery, months of rehab and physio it was just never the same and although I tried to come back I just couldn't compete at the same level as before. I was heart broken as I plummeted down the rankings and in the end I knew it was over. At 22 I was on the tennis scrap heap and had no idea what I was going to do with the rest of my life!
Chapter 2
Fast forward over 20 years and I found myself turning 45. Where had my life gone? After my career ended there was no reason to not have kids and after a couple of years of trying I finally had Brad and then 3 years later, Cindy. They completely changed me and my whole life was focused on being the best Mom and supportive wife I could be! I was surprised at just how satisfying I found this as I never thought that this is what I would end up being! Of course I was still beautiful and quickly got my figure back after each child was born.
I could tell my husband was super proud of me when I had to go to the endless boring, tedious law firm dinners and balls. He always told me I was the 'hottest wife' at those events which I kinda liked and more so as I got older and noticed the other wives getting younger and younger compared to me. I often caught guys checking me out but this may have been because I was the 'tennis player with the successful career cut cruelly short' rather than being physically attractive to them. But still it gave me a frisson of excitement to think that maybe I could still cut it with women 10-20 years younger than me!
Of course I'd had 'offers' from other men throughout my marriage but I'd always been faithful to my husband. He provided me with everything I needed and I'll always be so grateful for his support as I tried to come back from my injury. In any case bringing up 2 kids was a full time job and I wouldn't have had time for anything on the side!
However, with our daughter about to fly the nest and head to college I wondered what I would do with my new found 'freedom'. My husband was still working very long hours, often out of town on business and it started to take a toll on him. He wasn't getting any younger and although I asked him to dial it down a bit he continued to work all hours. As he was always tired our sex life dwindled to nothing despite my efforts. It wasn't helped by his new found obsession with golf which seemed to consume all his time when he wasn't at work.
To celebrate Cindy going off to college we held a BBQ at our house and invited family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. Cindy brought her new boyfriend, Marcus, who she had been seeing for a couple of months and seemed to be really into. I was a bit concerned and hoped it wouldn't mean her not wanting to go to college but she was level headed enough not to jeopardize her future for a guy she'd only know for a couple of months.
I'll never ever forget the first time I saw Marcus. I think I knew from that moment that what would happen was inevitable and we were both powerless to stop it. He was 6'2", beautiful dark black skin, 200lbs of solid muscle, deep dark brown eyes, soooo handsome with a brilliant white smile and dreadlocks that hung to his shoulders that totally accentuated his Caribbean heritage. He certainly turned heads as one of the only three black people at the BBQ, all friends of Cindy!
"Mom, this is Marcus," beamed Cindy as she introduced us. I took his hand to shake it, incredibly conscious of his skin colour against mine and the way it engulfed my white hand. Our eyes met and I knew instantly what he was thinking which came from long experience.
"Delighted to meet you at last, Marcus," I said with a slight tremble in my voice as I felt my cheeks flush red. "Oh my, it's sooo hot today isn't it?" I said as I fanned my face to try to cover up my ridiculous thoughts about him. He was 18 and my daughter's boyfriend for God's sake!
"The pleasure is all mine, ma'am," he said in reply and I could have sworn I detected the faintest squeeze on my hand as our fingers slowly parted. Cindy was looking round for her father and dragged Marcus away without giving me another glance but Marcus did look over his shoulder at me as he walked away and I felt something in my stomach that I'd not felt for years!
Most of the rest of the afternoon passed in a daze for me as I was still reeling from the effect that a barely 30 second meeting with my daughter's boyfriend had had on me. I replayed it over and over in my mind, eventually convincing myself that I was being ridiculous. He was over 25 years younger than me and I was sure that it was all unreciprocated wishful thinking on my part.
Towards the end of the afternoon I saw Marcus standing on his own and feeling guilty about that I walked over and said "Enjoying the party?"