"Can I wash my face now?" We had finished dinner, dining al fresco and al natural on his porch. The food had calmed me down, soaking up the alcohol and toning down the smoke. Tim was lighting up another, but I wasn't sure I could handle it. I stared across the yard, remembering the afternoon.
He had walked me through the two takes -- as they were only a few minutes each I figured it would only be a half hour at most. How much could there be to consider, after all? But in addition to breaking them down, pointing out which one would be better for which site, he showed me the sites he had in mind, how much they offered for specific types of shots, when there were royalties, when they bought stuff flat out.
Even not stoned out of my mind the whole scene was dreamlike -- unbelievable really. For almost an hour I was studying myself spread open and taking his cock deep into my throat, comparing short scenes against other shots already published on dozens of sites. By the time the food had arrived I was dizzy from the amount of cum shot onto girls' faces, the size and shapes of dicks shoving into their mouths, how open their pussy lips were, shaved, not shaved. I had stopped focusing details and noticing patterns of scenes I liked.
"That one," I pointed to a young brunette, her hands spreading her legs open to split her slit, a guy slowly lowering his cock into her upturned mouth.
"Yeah. That's a good one. What do you like about that one?"
"It feels natural. She's definitely into it."
"Barbara Baxter. Let's see her stats." He fiddled around with something on the site; a spreadsheet showed up. "30 submittals, pretty good ratings on this one, a little uneven across the board, but your instinct was right on. Who produced it -- yeah, Jenkins. He does pretty good work, but he gets into some really kinky shit." Tim shrugged a little, cocking his head and smiling at me.
I shrugged back. I didn't know what we were doing; I let him take the lead.
"So...what should we do? Submit the whole take 2 to Puff Balls? Just take shots and put up thumbs on Milkman's? It's your movie."
We had been discussing money -- he would take his standard 50%, routing my take to an account we had set up on one of his sites. I couldn't follow it all, but he assured me it was "on the up and up" as he put it. I realized my fantasy of cutting him out of the picture and doing this on my own was stupid. Although he hadn't been to school for any of this, he seemed to know a lot about making money in the business; most of the shit he mentioned I didn't have a clue about.
"What's up with cumming on girls' faces? I mean, shit, it's like all over the place." I unconsciously reached up and started picking at the dried jism on my cheeks.
"I dunno. I've never really thought about it. It's just what guys like, I guess."
It wasn't until I had finished Human Sexuality 201 that I found the answer. Truly weird, human beings are. But sitting in his living room scanning websites on the big TV, I was struck by the sheer repetitiveness of the images I had seen. Dozens of girls sucking cocks just like he had set me up earlier in the evening.
"Don't you see any differences between what you've got and these girls?" He froze a particularly nasty video of a young woman being fucked anally while taking a guy in her throat. She didn't look particularly happy and the scene wasn't a turn-on in the least.
"Do you like what you see here?" I turned away from the TV to look at him.
He shrugged, glancing down at his penis. I looked to see it starting to lift a little off the couch cushion and sighed.
"Really? That turns you on? She's like...drugged or something. I mean, look at her -- it's like she's looking at her watch waiting to be paid."
He started laughing, turning to me and planting a kiss on my mouth. It came out of nowhere and I couldn't stop him. Before I could react, he had pushed his tongue into me, holding the back of my head with one hand, the other gently massaging my nipples. And then, just as quickly, he pulled away, leaving me breathless.
"What...the fuck was that?" The rush of arousal down my mouth, my spine, my breasts, the glow in my quim, in a heartbeat all of the uncomfortable feelings I was falling for him came rushing back.
"You're beautiful, that's all. Yeah, these suck. Look. Do you want me to make a suggestion?"
I assumed he was talking about which site to post the videos onto. I nodded my head taking the controls from him to get the godawful images off the screen. I saw a thumbnail of a blonde teenager, barely legal from what I could see and opened it.
"I say split the first take into two -- the margins with our getting ready would be perfect for Bedroom Bimbos -- you saw the quality of the scenes in there in spite of the name, right? And save the money shot for King's Kock -- they'll pay a pretty good price -- no residuals, but don't sweat that yet. You need to get a following before you can start demanding returns. Put that shot up there and we'll prime the freebie sites with a short take -- do you like the part where you're asking for it?" He closed his eyes and raised his eyebrows, as if savoring the memory of my humiliation.
The memory jolted me a little: crying out to have him fuck my throat -- earlier in the day, if someone had told me that's what I'd be saying, on video, and now was considering which site to publish it to...no fucking way. I barely followed whatever he had been saying.
"I guess. I had hoped to publish the whole thing as a complete piece...to one of those sites we saw a few minutes ago...Cock Suckers or something?" I rolled my eyes a little still not believing the words coming out of my mouth.
He shook his head. "Not a good idea for your first shoot. Better to spread it around and get your brand going. Cock Suckers is okay, don't get me wrong, but neither of those were the right thing. We can set something better up for that site if you want to go that way. And besides, if you already have a brand started, you'll be worth more to them."
It seemed to go on like this forever. The food finally arrived and we hadn't made a decision, but I was willing to let him steer me where he thought the stuff would do the best. Over dinner, we talked around the elephant in the room: that moment when he would be fucking me on camera. Every time the thought came up, I pushed it away like a hot match. I had been ready when I came over, but now, after he realized I was a virgin and I realized how much it was worth, the whole thing became even more important than just losing my cherry would have been under normal circumstances.
So, dinner over, my face a mess, the next step obvious to the both of us but not discussed, I took the joint when he offered it and waited to see where it was all going.
"Hey," he broke the silence. "You really ought to check out these couple of sites before we pop your cherry."
I exhaled, shaking my head in disbelief. Amazing lack of sensitivity. And then, for whatever reason, a question popped into my head. The pot was kicking up again, and I started to feel noidy. "Shit, shit, shit," I just shook my head, "We can't do any of this shit."
He looked up, taking the joint from me. "What? Why?" He stared at me as he sucked in the smoke.
I looked at him as if he was crazy; as if we were both fucking nuts. "Like Doh, Tim! My face is all over these! What if my father sees any of this?!" I sat back not wanting any more drugs, the whole afternoon sagging.
But he just started laughing, the smoke jetting out. "You're worried about that?" He shook his head, setting the j onto his dish and taking my hands. "Look at me." He stopped, waiting. "Tell me exactly how that would play out. Your dad sees you getting face fucked on a porn site and then...?"
