Wheels in Motion

*** This series was awarded the

Most Literary/Genre Transcending

award in the

2020 Reader's Choice Awards

. Thank you to all my readers and all who voted. ***

Hello friend. Welcome to Chapter Five of my series, Wheels In Motion.

If you haven't read Chapters One through Four, then... You know what? You do you, my friend. If you want to go into this chapter blind and be all confused and stuff, that's your jam? Who am I to stop you?

I hope you enjoy this chapter, however you got here.

As always, this chapter owes a huge debt to my beta-reader, ArmyGal33 and my indispensable editor, AwkwardMD.

~~ Tenleytown, Washington DC, August ~~

LIZ

Addison stared questioningly into my eyes.

"Did you hear me, Addie?" I asked. "Go get my chair. I don't want anyone messing with it while we talk."

She nervously licked her lips. Then licked them again. I wondered if our kiss had tasted as good to her as it had to me. She still hadn't moved so I gently poked her in the ribs with my fingers, making her flinch and sit up away from me.

"Go on," I said, softly.

"O... okay," she said. She stood and looked down at me. "I... I'll be right back." She walked slowly down the hallway, glancing over her shoulder at me, as if dazed.

As soon as her white-blond hair disappeared down the steps, I rolled down onto my stomach and crawled into her apartment. My wheelchair was surprisingly lightweight, but it was bulky. I knew it would take Addison a few seconds to wrestle it up the steps, and when she did I didn't want to let her have the power move of helping me back up into it. She rolled my chair into her apartment and found me sitting on one end of her small couch.

She looked back and forth between me and the spot in the hallway where I'd kissed her, and actually smiled.

"You really are determined, aren't you?"

"I don't fuck around when it comes to getting what I want," I said, putting a hard emphasis on the curse word. I also didn't return her smile. Yet.

Her smile vanished as she sucked in a nervous breath, as if I'd poked her again, and shifted her weight from foot to foot.

"Well?" I asked.

"'Well' what? You're the one who said we had to talk."

"I meant, 'well, are you going to close the door and sit down,' or do you want to leave it open so all your neighbors can hear more than what we've already yelled at each other out in the hall."

"Oh, right." She gave my chair a gentle push, so it glided over toward me and turned to shut the door. I reached out to stop my chair before it bumped into her side table, then watched her while she moved to sit on the other end of the couch.

"So," she said, folding her arms across her chest, "go ahead. Talk."

This time I did let myself smile.

"As you may have gathered, I feel some things were left unresolved between us. I think we should... talk. I think we both need that."

"But..." She lapsed into uncomfortable silence.

"But what?" I asked, gently.

"It's... I mean... I didn't want to talk because I thought nothing would change. Or... could change. But... you just kissed me.

Has

something changed?" The look of desperate hope in her eyes was heartbreaking.

"Lots of things have changed. You kissed me, then cut me out of your life. You started dating someone. From what I hear, that didn't work out so well for you. From what I hear, you're in a pretty bad place now."

Her face darkened. "Amber," she muttered.

"Hey, knock that off. She's a good friend and she's worried about you. Is she being a busybody, or does she actually have a reason to worry?"

Addie didn't say anything. She tried to stare a hole in the floor.

"Fine. I get it. You're going to make me do all the talking.

I

wasn't happy with the way you walked out of my life. Especially when

you kissed me

right before you did it. That wasn't cool."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I was pissed... for a

long

time... but I think the reason I was especially pissed was..." I shook my head, looking for the right words.

"Tell me. Please."

I took a deep breath. This was the moment. I took the plunge.

"It was because I wished you hadn't run off like that. I wished you'd hung around to talk about it. And maybe... maybe kissed me some more."

This time her intake of breath was less like I'd poked her and more like I'd gut punched her. Tears sprang into her eyes.

"Please tell me this is real? That you're not messing with me?"

"I'm serious, Addison."

"Oh my god... Liz..." She held a hand over her mouth as tears spilled down her cheeks. Then she leaned forward, reaching out for me.

"Whoa, settle down," I said, putting my hand out to stop her. "We have

a lot

to talk about before we go there, and you have a lot of work to do.

"What?" I'd thrown her off balance again, which had been my goal.

"I said

you have a lot of work to do.

First off, you just broke up with Vivian, right?"

She sat back, sniffed, and lifted her hand to wipe the tears off her cheeks with the back of her hand. "Yes. Well, like, a month ago. I'm not sure I really broke up with her. She cheated on me. I was... done after that."

"I'm sorry that happened to you. Do you want to talk about your thing with her?"

"No, I really don't."

"Let me rephrase that. I need you to tell me about your thing with her."

"Why?" she asked, sullenly.

"Well, because... You tell me you're in love with me, you kiss me, then

run away

and cut me out of your life completely.

Then

you start dating someone else, like, immediately. How do you think that makes me feel after what you told me that night?"

She sniffed, then said "Okay, that's fair."

"So, tell me about her."

"She's just... No, I shouldn't say

just.

She's a woman I met at the League when I was there with Amber and Nora. She sent me a drink. We ended up talking for a while. Then I went on a date with her, like, two weeks later."

"I remember you telling me about her. This was before you told me you fell for me, right?"

She nodded. "When I met her, I was still lying to myself that you and I were only friends. I mean... that you were just a friend to me. I think, at some level, I knew I was falling for you then, but I was trying to ignore it and she was someone I thought I could redirect my feelings toward."

"Okay. So, then we go to the Rotors' show, you tell me you love me, and you bail. What happened next?"

She looked anguished. "Do I really have to tell you all this?"

"No, you don't. But if you want us to try and work out whatever we have going on between us, then yes. You do."

She took a few moments, obviously gathering her thoughts, then she continued while still looking at the floor, unable to meet my eyes.

"I met with her to tell her I had feelings for you and that I thought we shouldn't see each other since I was hung up on you. I didn't want to hurt her, and I wanted to be up front about it. She told me she wasn't really looking for anything serious, so if we wanted to hang out as friends" --she closed her eyes for a moment and seemed to collect herself-- "and maybe

friends with benefits...

that she was game."

"So, you took her up on it."

"This is so fucking embarrassing," She muttered. "

Yes!

I did. I've made dumb decisions when it comes to dating, for like my entire life, and this was one of the dumbest. It was

stupid

, but at the time I had no idea how I was going to get over you. She seemed like... I don't know. I thought maybe if I threw myself into it with her it would help me, but I'm not built for 'friends-with-benefits'. Eventually I found myself pushing her to be more than that, which was... She didn't want it. I didn't want it... with her. Not really, anyway, but I knew I couldn't have you... So, I pushed and pushed and tried to get her to be my

girlfriend

or whatever. It was a disaster of my own making."

"So, what happened?"

"I finally talked her into trying to make a real go of it, or at least I thought I did. Amber tried to warn me I was trading one problem for a different one, and she ended up being right. I hate that she was right. A few weeks after we saw you at the E.R., after the Metro crash, Viv and I were supposed to have a date, but she called and cancelled at the last minute. Said she had to work. I was complaining about it to Amber, so she invited me to go to the Mystics game with her and Nora... where I saw Viv with another woman."

"I'm sorry."

"It was my fault. She was using me for sex. I was using her to try and get over you, but I was pushing us into something that was wrong for both of us."

"I imagine you have some baggage leftover from that.

"No."

I gave her a skeptical look. "Really?"

"I don't. I... I have baggage from you," she whispered, as a tear ran down her cheek. "I'm pretty sure that's why she cheated on me. She knew I wasn't into her so much as I wanted to be distracted from you, and I think it really hurt her."

That rocked me back on my mental heels. "Um, okay. Let's... let's table that subject for now then."

She smiled through her tears. "Okay."

"The other thing we need to talk about is me. Well, about me and you and me."

"What do you mean?"

"Addison, I'm not sure that I'm... gay or whatever. Sorry, I know that sounds flip. It's just... when you kissed me, I felt something I haven't felt since before I broke my back. Something I haven't felt with any of the guys I've been with since then. I can't say for sure yet if this is the right thing for me. For

us.

If we go down this road it's entirely possible that it won't work out, and that it'll have been a spark I felt because no one's kissed me in forever. Also..." I paused as I felt my own eyes get a little teary.

She reached out and squeezed my hand. "Tell me. Whatever it is, good or bad, I need to hear it now."

"I don't think I... I mean... it's possible I just don't have a sex drive anymore. I've been thinking about it a lot in the last few months. No one has turned me on since my injury. No one has..." I huffed out a breath before continuing. "Sex, and any attempts thereof, have been pathetic at best for me. I'm worried that trying and failing with you would... would hurt more. Would hurt you... me... but... Addison, I haven't been able to forget our kiss."

"I haven't been able to either," she said, quietly.

"Right. Good. So... things went pear shaped between us. You were my best friend. I miss that, but I think I... want more than that. Maybe."

"God Liz, I want that too!" She leaned forward towards me again, and again I put my hand on her chest to stop her. "What?" she asked, confused.

"I told you, you have more work to do. It's not going to be that easy."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, girl, you and I have only been friends! I'm not going to jump in bed with you here and now. You're gonna have to put in the time. You need to woo me."

"

What?!

" She let out a short, surprised laugh. "I have to 'woo' you?"

"I mean it, Addison. I'm up for giving this a shot, but I'm not up for us going from being best friends, to not talking for months, to me trying sex with a woman for the first time.

Especially

with you. I don't... I guess I'm saying I'm not interested in just having you fuck me. If we're going to do this, I want it to be a relationship. I want you to take me out on a date. Maybe a couple. I'm not easy, you know. We need to build our relationship back up and, more importantly, we need to rebuild our trust in each other. It took a pretty good hit. You don't just skip past that like nothing happened."

She pursed her lips and considered me for a long time. "So... a real date. You and me."

"I don't know how you lesbians do it, but in my experience, traditionally the first step if you're interested in seeing if a relationship will work is a date. Don't you think?"

"I believe so," she laughed, "yes."

"Okay. Lucky you, I'm off this Saturday. You can pick me up any time after noon. I just need you to tell me before Friday night what time you want me to be ready and how fancy I need to dress. It's entirely up to you, though: t-shirts and a baseball game, evening gowns at the Kennedy Center, anything in between. You're in charge."

That earned me a skeptical look. "Really? You are

so

not the type of woman to not be in charge."

"Don't get used to that. This will be my first date in nearly two years and my first date with a woman ever, so for now you've got the aircraft."

"What?"

"Sorry. That's a helicopter thing Jo says all the time. It means for this mission, you're at the controls." I pulled my chair closer to me and slid myself over onto it.

"That's it? We're done talking, huh?" She smiled at me. "Kinda sounds like you're in charge after all."

"I had to be in charge to get you to talk to me. You're in charge Saturday. Oh, one more thing..." I spun my chair around and rolled into her little kitchen. She followed me. I spied her recycling bin and saw it was completely full of empty wine bottles. I rolled forward and bumped the bin with the footrest of my chair, causing a cacophony of clinks, then turned to look back at her. "This needs to stop, now. I don't know how much of a problem this is for you, but I do know dealing with pain through alcohol isn't good."

She looked away, embarrassed. "Fucking Amber," she muttered.

"This isn't on Amber! I could smell the empties when I crawled in here! You've been hurting, and you've been trying to numb your pain with booze. I mean, look at how many bottles you've got here. That's not good. I want you to stop while you and I feel each other out. Uh, I mean... not feel each other... I mean, like in our new... not... I didn't... you know what I mean!" My skin felt hot.

She grinned at me, then turned serious. "Okay. If that's what you want me to do, I'll do it."

"Okay, then." I looked at her expectantly.

"What?"

"Pour it all out," I said.

"Oh... you want me to--"

"I want all the booze in your apartment to go down this sink, right now."

"Seriously?"

"As a heart attack." I crossed my arms and stared at her.

She did little more than blink before saying, "Okay." She opened her tiny pantry and pulled out three bottles of wine. Two had screw tops, which she quickly cracked open and poured down the sink. The third bottle she had to struggle with for a few moments to get the cork out, then the contents of that one followed its two siblings down the drain.

"That's everything?"

"I have a bottle of Hendricks. I haven't been drinking too much of that."

I nodded at the sink. "It goes too."

"It's expensive," she said, as she reached back into the cabinet and picked up the black cylinder.

"I'll buy you a new one if I think you don't have a problem."

"Okay." She pulled out the cork and, without hesitation, poured the gin down the sink as well.

"Nice. Thank you for doing that."

"If we're really going to try this dating thing," she said, almost making eye contact, "I'll do anything for you." Her eyes were glistening and I swallowed hard.

"Okay, good talk. I'm going to go now, so you can think about what we're going to do on our first date."

"No pressure," she said, with a smile.

"Now comes the hardest part," I mused.

"What's that?"

"How am I going to get back down the stairs?"

~~Capitol Heights, Washington, DC ~~

ADDISON

After our talk, Liz wheeled herself down the hall to the steps, slid out of her chair to the floor and waited for me to carry it to the bottom of the stairs. Then I came back up, sat down on the step below the top landing and pulled Liz's legs around my waist while she put her arms around my neck. I carefully stood and carried her on my back down the stairs, holding the railing with one hand. Then I sat on the bottom step and set her down where she took care of the rest, using her arms to slide herself over into her chair. She was surprisingly nimble, the way she threw her body around with just her arms.

I walked her outside, and then, after our goodbyes, stood on the sidewalk and watched as she rolled herself away down the street towards the Metro until I lost sight of her. I turned and skipped back to the door and up the stairs to my apartment, looking at the end of the couch where she'd been sitting as she'd told me...

...she'd wished I'd kissed her some more instead of running away from her...

She wanted me to kiss her! I flung my arms out and spun in a circle in my living room, giggling madly. It was hard to get a grip. Nothing about this was a sure thing. I knew I couldn't sit there and obsess about this by myself. I'd go crazy. I needed to talk it out.

I picked up my phone and hit a button in my favorites list.

"Hey, it's me! Can I come over?"

"I can't believe she crawled up your stairs," Amber said, incredulously, while she scrubbed a frying pan. I sat next to Nora at the breakfast bar in their townhouse in Capitol Heights while we watched Amber attack the pile of dishes in their sink. They'd been in the middle of dinner when I'd called.

"It was like something out of a movie!"

"Or the act of a nutbar," Amber murmured.

"Sweetie, don't say that. It's incredibly romantic!" Nora said, as she held out her empty wine glass. Amber picked up the bottle next to the sink and gave her a refill.

"Want some?" she asked, picking up a clean wine glass from the drain board and offering it to me.

"Can I have some water instead? I told Liz I'd stop drinking while we figured this thing out between us."

"Wait, what?" Amber asked.

"She insisted on it. She asked me to pour out all my booze before she left, so I did."

Amber's eyebrows tried to crawl up into her hair. She set the wine bottle and glass down without saying anything and picked up a clean drinking glass from the drain board to fill from the refrigerator door dispenser, with an otherwise blank expression.

"What?" I asked.

Amber simply shook her head and handed me my water.

"It's never nothing when your eyebrows do that, sweetie. Go ahead and say whatever it was," Nora prodded her.

"I was going to be

very

skeptical of this whole enterprise. I thought you two should talk it out, not...

whatever

this is going to be. I mean, this is a woman who, up until now, has considered herself completely straight. There is a

ton

of emotional baggage between the two of you, plus you're all jacked up over Viv cheating on you. Now, all of a sudden, you're going to go on a romantic date with Liz? Her first? I mean, at first blush, this sounds both too good to be true

and

a fucking disaster in the making, all at once," Amber said.

"I know, I know," I said. "I'm worried about all that too. My heart is over the moon right now, but my head is telling me if this blows up I'll be worse off than I was."

"You didn't let me finish," Amber said, as she picked up a dish towel and started drying plates in the rack. "I said I

was

going to be skeptical, but the fact she wants you to stop drinking speaks volumes for her common sense, her observational skills

and

her concern for your well-being. The fact you up and did it when she asked you to is a good sign, too, I think."

"So, you think I should go through with this?" I asked.

"Honey, there's a less-than-zero percent chance you

aren't

going to give this a try," Nora said. "Amber's saying it sounds less like a terrible idea after everything you've told us. I agree with her, for what it's worth."

"Oh my gosh. Okay. Okay! So... what do I do? Where should I take her? Is there some fancy thing this Saturday I could score tickets to? Some gala maybe? Wait! She mentioned the Kennedy Center. Maybe there's a concert?" I pulled out my phone and started to Google options but Nora gently laid her hand over my screen.