First section of a four-part story.
It all started off playful. Not innocent, but playful.
Jim's buddies for many years had had their monthly gatherings. Here in southern Indiana, in this quiet corner of the American heartlands, their meetings were nothing out of the ordinary. Sometimes it was "poker night." More often it was a visit to their favorite local, the Tank, with its dark, dank interior and the ever entertaining dartboard.
The boys liked wagering with each other over almost anything. There could be other activities too, but the four of them somehow always had it fixed in their calendars, and even when holiday season or busy schedules or family events made things difficult or complicated, they never went more than six weeks without a get-together.
The other girls made light of it, but I was the only one who really felt at all slighted. I think they thought it was good for their husbands to get together and blow some male steam off, and this was just the right way to keep everything okay and steady on the home front. Jim's buddies were solid, hardworking guys, not what you would call cultured or anything, but they were good men.
Chrissie said her Roderick always came home in a good mood, and was apt to be more expansive, and talkative and appreciative of her for a bit after one of their meetings. When I pointed out "why" he might have been in a better mood when he got home (I had a pretty good idea of how much they drank), she just laughed and brushed it off.
I was the lone outsider among all the couples. My urban Long Island family roots were eight hundred miles away, culturally light-years, while I think the next girl who was furthest from home was Stacey, and she was just from upstate.
I'd met Jim on a river rafting expedition one summer between college semesters. He was the guide for our trip in the hills of Kentucky, and I had been taken with him straight away. Kind blue eyes, dark hair, woodsman's patchy beard, nice long rangy build, flannel shirts and jeans, a little shy, even awkward.
Jim did not fit my usual attraction profile at all. I was used to highly cerebral, or at least well-educated types, which was not Jim in the least. Not that Jim isn't smart - he is, in his own way - but let's just say you don't see copies of Kafka on his bedroom nightstand.
We were married the next year after my graduation from university and I moved west. He was working at his father's business, a hardware wholesaling outfit, and pretty soon I was swept up with his family, neighbors and friends.
For two years it was fantastic. I was away from intellectual competition, which could be cutthroat around New York. After a string of increasingly volatile and unsatisfying college relationships, I was happy to have a nice stable life with a good man. We coupled a lot those first two years, then along came Aden, and then Buster. After twelve years of marriage, I had a house full of males and it was mostly good.
Jim was great with the boys, took them fishing and camping, coached their sports teams, gave me weekends off a bunch. The intervening years were the complicated ones of family but it still was good, and Jim and I usually found a way to make love at least once a week.
But I had gotten a bit resentful of the kind of male camaraderie that Jim had built up with his band of buddies. A different kind of attention that didn't get shared with me. And there were times when it seemed that he felt his close-knit crew were more important than me, too.
His best friend Rob was over after work that Wednesday. He's a big guy, broad shouldered and handsome in a rough-hewn way, and like most of the other guys, had gone to high school with Jim. His dark hair was thinning and he had a large chest and beer-belly to go along, but he held his weight well. He took up a lot of space, looked real strong.
I always liked looking at his thick forearms with his sleeves rolled up, the way the sinews worked when he held a beer or gripped a door knob. He was in a workshirt and jeans. They were talking in the kitchen over a couple long-necked Buds when I came in with groceries from the store. It was July and hot. He was standing next to the window overlooking the front lawn.
"Hey good looking," said Rob, his standard greeting.
"Hey Rob, how's biz?" Rob ran a construction business, employed eight, sometimes ten guys, and while he didn't tend to get the big development contracts, his crew had built a good dozen or so houses in town since I had moved here, along with plenty of remodeling work.
"No complaints," he shrugged, and we talked a bit about stuff, weather and kids and the Red's chances of winning the division. His wife Sharon, who I liked a lot, was going to visit her sister in Cincinnati over the weekend. She was a big girl in every way. Tall, big hips, big chest, big dark unruly hair, broad easy smile. Their two kids were heading quickly towards largeness themselves.
He then shot a glance over at Jim.
"Poker over here next Tuesday night babe, that okay with you?" said Jim, obviously prodded.
I made a face, since I had been hoping for other things that week. The kids would be away at camp for a whole week, the first that both of them would be gone from home at the same time, and it would have been a nice excuse for Jim and I to do some things together, maybe go out to dinner once or twice so I didn't have to cook, and we could pretend it was just the two of us again.
I shot Jim a sharp look, but either he didn't catch my meaning or just ignored it. His expression was bland.
"Only day that's going to work for all of us for the next month," he said mildly. His eyes squinted, and he stroked his sparse little beard with one hand, his beer in the other.
I was annoyed for a couple reasons, maybe even some I couldn't quite identify at that moment. The guys usually didn't check in with the wives anyway, just announced the dates, but when poker was at one of the homes, the girls got stuck with most of the food prep and of course the clean-up, which didn't tend to be disastrous, or frat-party like, but still was extra work.
It felt like entitlement, I guess, and that bugged me.
"Do I get to play too?" I asked. This was a long running routine among them, that I always asked about joining the card games, and inevitably got teasing responses from the guys. They liked their male brand of dealing and wagering.
"Anytime you want," said Rob, with a long, calculating smile, eyes traveling me from top to bottom. "Any of us guys always like playing with wives."
Jim chuckled and I was ready to kick him in the shins.
So, just to irritate him, I put on a sultry little smile of my own.
"How would I qualify to play with you big fellas?" I asked wantonly.
Rob gave me a long, slow, thoughtful look.
"Well, high heels for starters," he said, gazing at my legs. "A short skirt? Short top? You girls all know plenty well how to play." His eyes teased me.
Jim's face had lost some of its humor.
"You know damn well I don't do high heels, Rob. Under any conditions. But short skirts I got," my eyes teased Rob right back.
Jim shifted on his feet and harrumphed.
"Well, none of the other wives have ever played cards at our games, don't see any reason why things shouldn't stay that way." He folded his arms in front of him. "It's guys' night."
I gave Jim a mildly annoyed look but a faint smile lingered on Rob's face.
We talked a bit about other things while I unloaded the groceries.
Later that night in bed I wanted to make love with Jim. It had been awhile, and I found my minor irritation with him earlier had not only departed but had reversed itself. I wanted him, and wanted him to want me. I can forget how handsome he is sometimes, and how genuinely sweet a guy he is overall.
We had a pretty easy way to communicate our interest in love-making, at least from my end. I make sure to be in bed first, which happens normally anyway, since I like to read in bed before heading to sleep.
When Jim settles in, whether he is planning to read or not, I just drift my hand over to his crotch, and give a light caress to his penis through his undershorts. That is signal enough, and while Jim will sometimes give me a reason why he isn't up for it - health, tiredness, business distractions, whatever - more often than not that is all we need to get started with each other.
Tonight was not an exception. He got a little smile on his face and we turned out the lights, and faced each other under the covers, just sheets now in the summer weather.