Thursday 22nd December
It's been two weeks since my last diary entry.
After leaving the classroom that day I drove straight home, and hid in my bedroom. I barely left it for a whole week. I didn't go to school, I didn't go to work, I didn't see my friends. I told my parents I was ill and, thankfully, they asked few questions.
When I did return to school a week later I went straight to my head of year and pleaded for permission to drop English. I was flatly refused.
When attending her lessons I now don't say a word, and I avoid eye-contact at all costs.
I've made no attempt to contact her, and have had no intention to. I've deleted her phone number, and, reluctantly, I also deleted all the pictures and videos she had sent me.
Today was the last day of the school term before the Christmas holidays. Most my friends were heading out for some drinks this evening, but I wasn't in the mood. Instead I went home and watched a couple of films.
Just after midnight, as I lay spread out across the sofa, my phone beeped.
The message was from an unknown number.
'Are you missing me?' it read.
'Who is this?' I replied quickly, not daring to hope.
'Have you forgotten me already?' came the next reply.
I sat up. My stomach fluttered.
'Is this Miss T?' I sent nervously.
'Yes Joe, this is Miss T.'
I took a deep breath.
'Have you missed me?' she asked again.
'Yes!' I replied.
'Well don't be a stranger. Speak to you soon x'
Friday 23rd December
I lay awake for hours last night wondering if I should continue the conversation. Her last message had been very final; she wanted to speak 'soon', not now. There were dozens of questions I wanted to ask, but I convinced myself that I shouldn't ask them. Not yet anyway.
Today I woke up with a plan: let her come to me.
That plan died a death at around 4pm.
'Why did you text me last night?' I asked.
'I don't know. I shouldn't have,' she replied.
I wanted to punch the wall.
'You must know!' I demanded.
A couple of hours past, in the absence her reply, I lost all discipline and bombarded her with messages.
'Don't fucking ignore me!'
'Send me a picture now!'
'I'm going to the police!'
The messages continued, on reflection, each one reads more pathetic and desperate than its predecessor.
Tuesday 3rd January