Can I Ever Heal?

This story started, solely with the idea contained within the first section, Darren's torment. As I wrote, I felt I needed to tell Audrey's side but that brought focus on the cause. So that led to the third part. After that, what could happen?

This is a work of fiction so some components have been stretched to fit the story. Hopefully, nothing like these exists in the real world though I'm not so sure.

Darren Torment:

Today has been the worst day of my life. I could never thought anything like today would occur in my life, in anyone's life. From school bullies, women rejecting me, to catastrophes at work, the death of my father. They pale into insignificance in comparison with today. I have never felt like this before.

The last three months have been very difficult for two reasons apart from life's normal shit but nothing could have prepared me for today.

I'm sitting on my parents' patio, looking over the land which comes with their house and beyond. The sky, the hills and trees bathed in sunlight are a joy normally. They're very blurred. It's beautiful, peaceful and comforting to know my parents had such love for each other here. You can feel their love in every room, everything you touch.

I'm not feeling loving. My rage is to the edge of the universe and back and rebounding repeatedly. My blood pressure would test any machine's capacity. How fast can the human heart go? The tears were streaming down my face. My mind became blank apart from one word - vengeance.

Why? Let me explain.

My story goes back a few years so I'll only tell you what's relevant.

My wife Audrey and I met at one of those bring a party to a party which were always on at christmas time, almost five years ago. We were with different groups but literally banged into each other near the bar. Although she was probably at fault, I apologised as she's quite lovely and to be honest, I don't attract a lot of interest from women. I thought at least I'd get a minute or two with her.

We ended up having a few dances together, even if her feet suffered. I was surprised she seemed to like me. I chanced my arm and was astonished when she agreed to meet up with me again. Within weeks I could never remember being so happy. When I was due to meet her, my pulse would race. It became a standing joke with my friends. "Darren's got a date tonight, watch out, his smile will burn your eyes out!"

No one understood what she saw in me. I mean, I'm Mr Average, 5'10", slim, brown hair, brown eyes, six and a half inch penis though fairly thick. I keep myself in good shape. I didn't want her to feel stared at for having someone on her arm who shouldn't be there.

Audrey is 5'6", slim, blond hair which at that time was shoulder length. She grew it even longer for me. She has green eyes, an expressive mouth and a good, not great body, 34B breasts with nipples which grow as she becomes aroused. I always knew when she was being turned on. A flat stomach leading to a hot pussy which varies between being bare or trimmed. She's a natural blond. Her bum was just a handy size.

If I'm being honest, she could do with doing more work on her kegel muscles but that's a new thing.

I took it slow, I didn't want to make her think I only wanted sex with her. It was after three months of dating we finally made love. I'd never experienced anything like it. She was so involved, so enthusiastic. She brought me back to life twice after my first almighty ejaculation. I swear her pussy extracted every sperm cell in my body that night. My flatmate wasn't pleased, he didn't get much sleep that night. Student digs didn't have much soundproofing!

It was almost two years from our first meeting, we were married. It was an autumnal scene which Audrey had always wanted. I had graduated the year we met and found a job in an office about an hour away from my home village so we moved to the big city, okay 40000 people. I'm a civil engineer who works on construction projects. I can be hands on but mostly help design and troubleshoot.

We were happy in our own rented flat. We had sex in every room. We had sex outdoors. She was adventurous and imaginative. Until recently we still had sex three or four times a week, mind blowing sex once or twice a week. Audrey had told me her aunt, Sharon, a counsellor had guided her and helped her as she wanted to please me. She told me I was only the second person to make love to her and by far the best.

We didn't only have sex in common. We shared a love of walking, films, books, humour and St Johnstone. We went to quite a few games when we could.

Audrey found employment at a business consultancy firm which advised customers on improvements, hardware, software, market trends and so on. She was an admin assistant. She was happy, it was a good crowd and she would often share the gossip. We shared so many laughs when we spoke after work. She knew I wouldn't reveal anything I shouldn't if she said too much. We didn't have secrets.

We supported each other as we strove to get ahead to give us space and the finance to have children. I did attend a few of her company parties but everything was good, the people were friendly.

Audrey's English language skills far outweighed my own. If I had an important paper to write, I'd ask her to proofread it. She always managed to make it far better. A different word, a phrase, punctuation. Her biggest gripe with me was putting the cart after the horse in my sentences. Her grandmother had been a secretary in the day of mechanical typewriters. She'd shown her how to type, two spaces between sentences, spacing for paragraphs, etc. It did make so much more difference when you saw her finished product.

She volunteered at a local adult learning centre helping people to read and write. So many had been dismissed at school as stupid yet were found to be dyslectic or almost blind later in life. The nights she came home when someone had achieved their goal was some of the most intense sex we had. She was so high.

We had a good circle of friends and an active social life. We took dance lessons as while she was graceful, I have no sense of rhythm. It did help. At least her feet felt safer! On occasion Audrey would wear a dress which was a bit more revealing to tease me. Some may have inadvertently seen her lacy bra.

Audrey had the knack of making you feel you were the only one there when she spoke with you. She was our group's agony aunt. Maybe Sharon had shaped those skills as well.

While I'm sociable, Audrey was the main draw. I can tell a joke, mimic people but don't ask me to sing. I was dependable. I would help whenever anyone needed help. I had grown up in an area where you had no option but to fight when all else failed. There were certain things, you couldn't back down from. You faced your challenges.

Every day I thought our love deepened.

The first inclination something was wrong, seriously wrong, came three months ago. We were at her company's summer picnic when one man came over and asked if she had spoken with me yet. The smirk on his face had me immediately on alert. I felt the need to send him to sleep permanently but just restrained myself. My face must have told him, she hadn't and that I already had suspicions about him. I never play poker (well we played strip poker but we both won).

Audrey smiled, "Darren, this is John Mitchell. He's a new consultant and he's asked me to be his PA."

Her tone of voice was off if you know what I mean. I had noticed that a few days before. I knew I wasn't getting the whole story.

I smiled, "You can tell me all later. Nice meeting you John." My eyes were conveying, "touch my wife and I'll fuck you so badly." He didn't give a fuck. I knew he thought it was a game, one he'd win. He didn't know me.

My mind was racing, "what the fuck!" I watched him circulate and every so often he just happened to be where Audrey was. There was nothing over the top but to my mind he was far too hands on. In fact, his hands were where mine weren't allowed at such functions. Not intimate places but around her waist and shoulders. Audrey was uncomfortable with being so personal in group settings or at least was.

I caught him at the toilet. My tone was angry, barely civil, "I don't like you touching my wife. I see any more, you'll leave here in an ambulance. You'll need to look over your back when you get out. I'll find out where you stay and I'll make sure you're incapable of anything. Stay clear. She won't be working for you."

I wanted him to have a go at me but he just skulked away. Maybe my polo shirt showed the muscles my job brought me and he knew he wouldn't like the outcome. He didn't go near her again.

Later, when home, Audrey and I spoke. We'd had words a few days before regarding her hair. This however was probably our first big fight ever. The first of many since!

She never mentioned anything so I brought it up.

"Well, were you going to tell me or just wait until I found out?" I asked, my tone more than suggesting I wasn't happy.

"You didn't tell me. You never even mentioned any possibility of you being a PA. Why? You're already working for him as his PA aren't you?"

Audrey looked at me, surprised at my tone, "What do you think I'll be doing?" I noted she didn't deny that.

I just retorted, "Well from the way he's all over you, I expect he thinks you'll be his whore. He comes up, very handsy, blatantly touching you in front of me, telling me you were his. Afterwards whenever he came up to you, he touched you where I'm not allowed to when we're out.

"You should have batted his hands away. When you didn't, the others didn't seem surprised. If I ask them, what will they tell me?" She looked down. It dawned on me, "Hell, the way people looked at you and me, they know something is going on.

"How soon before you're travelling with him? Are you fucking him?"

She was fucking annoyed. Her reaction told me I was right.

She stammered, "You've got this all wrong. I'm not fucking him. I love you."

I was mad, "You cut your fucking hair when you know I loved how long it was and what it did to me when we were having sex. You never discussed that with me. Was it for him? No hairs to show his wife! Easier kept when having a quickie!

"When I said I was thinking about being fashionable, would grow a beard, shave my head, you told me No. We always discussed these things until then.

"I don't like him. He sees himself as above people like us. You'll just be a notch on his belt."

Audrey blushed, "He's like that with everyone. I'm not sleeping with him."

I just looked, "Audrey, if you did our marriage would be over. What's he offering? Divorce his wife and make you his new one. Bet he tells that to all his secretaries.

"You can't take that job as he'll expect you to allow him to molest you. He's a bastard who should be sacked."

Audrey repeated she'd never fuck him, she loved me. The job had more money, we could have our children.

We argued all night. Nothing I said made any difference. Her tone of voice worried me, it was like she was on a delay. Something was far wrong but I couldn't find the words to get her to tell me the truth. The fact she was lying was crucifying me.

I went to the guest room. It was the first night since our marriage we hadn't slept together. We never did again, at least in our bedroom.

The next evening, she was mad. He'd told her about our little talk. We argued and she couldn't believe I would ensure he never worked again if he fucked her. I shouted at her, "I'll fuck his career, I'll fuck his marriage, as mine will be in the sewer. He's a fucking predator."

I didn't add, I would extract my revenge physically so he wouldn't be capable of fucking anyone for quite some time.

The next fortnight was bad. I caught her dressing for work. Hell, she wouldn't dress for me like that if we were going out. Obviously, she had accepted the job or as I was convinced, she had already started before the picnic. I'm sure he wanted to feel he had humiliated me through his control of her.

She and I left for work on numerous days furious due to those rows over her attire. We didn't have any intimate time. On breaks, I checked out the divorce laws. I spoke with some friends who knew some others so Mitchell would have an accident when I had proof.

I needed time to get everything together but work was very busy.

If I thought my life couldn't get any worse, I didn't have a clue as to how bad it would get. One night my mum called. She asked if I could be with her at the hospital the next day as she needed to hear results of tests. Dad had died two years ago. I took her. When I picked her up; she saw how down I was. She said, "We'll talk about you after this."

She was quiet, quite solemn, unlike her usual bubbly self. In the car she wouldn't talk about herself so I knew this was unlikely to be good. I wasn't wrong.

Mum's consultant was very good at explaining everything but it came down to this. Her cancer was a difficult one to treat at the best of times and due to Covid she hadn't been seen when it may have been treatable. It was widespread. Any treatment was extremely unlikely to be successful whilst giving her a very poor quality of life. They suggested palliative care which would give her the best quality of life until the end which was only a few months away at best.

I was shocked but mum seemed like she already knew within herself.

We talked into the wee small hours. She was all prepared, just like I expected her to be. The house and extensive land would be mine. She wouldn't tell me what to do with it but dad and her had knocked back many developers who wanted to build up to forty rabbit hutches on it. It had been dad's dad and his dads before him.

The next day, she said, "We've talked enough about me, What about you?"

I told her everything. She called someone and about twenty minutes later a beautiful brunette arrived. Mum introduced us. She was her solicitor, Anne. An hour later, she had arranged for Audrey to be followed to confirm my suspicions.

It helped Audrey called to inform me she was going off for three nights to a conference with John. I managed to get details of where just in case I needed to contact her. After she rang off, I was furious, she'd never asked about mum.

I agreed to cameras and line taps be put in my house. The guy putting them in had them connected wirelessly to my laptop as well as their computer system. He showed me how to put a tracker on her phone.

When she came back from her "conference" she was surprised to see how sad I was. I didn't need to act.

I looked at her and spoke, the sadness evident in my voice, "Mum has a couple of months to live. You knew I was there because she was ill and you never asked. John fucking this, John fucking that. Family used to be the most important thing to you."

I went to my room leaving her looking shocked.

The next couple of days she behaved more like her old self. Dressed more demurely for work. There were calls to him in the evening. If she suspected I heard her she was at pains to tell me it was work.

It soon became clear she was fucking John. She continued to lie to me.

The tracker showed they had lunch at a hotel near their work but never in the restaurant.

We did have sex twice. Each time, I awoke to find her riding me. That's how I knew her cunt was loose. I just let her finish. I debated getting STD tested but I had no symptoms. I wasn't screwing anyone. I laughed, thinking I could reinfect him!

My thoughts on getting revenge went on hold as mum went downhill quite quickly. I spent each weekend with her, the evenings when Audrey was away on business and latterly, the last five days. Audrey's work included the weekends when she could have come with me, surprise, surprise!

The Macmillan nurses were excellent so she died in her own bed as she wished.

I arranged the funeral, well mum had, I just had to pick the date and time. I called Audrey and told her. She was sympathetic and said all the right words but I could tell there was no substance to them. Two days later she called to say she couldn't be at the funeral as she had to go out of town due to work. I just put the phone down. I never called her again.

My anger was building but first, I had to deal with the funeral.

On the day of the funeral, there were probably thirty friends of mums there. I sat on my own in the front row at the crematorium. I'm sure they were whispering about "where's his wife?" I concentrated on the Humanist Celebrant telling many stories about mum and some with dad which recalled her life, her impact on others and how much she'll be missed. She finished with "keep her memory with you that way she'll never die."

I was so immersed in mum's story I almost forgot Audrey should have been at my side.

The funeral tea was quite good, listening to them telling stories about mum and dad. I had more than a few laughs over their escapades. They never mentioned any of those when I was around. I never knew they had been caught skinny dipping by her dad. Grandad was a lovely man but had a wicked sense of humour. He'd a broom handle which in the dark dad had thought was a shotgun. Apparently, that prompted the proposal of marriage.

As the tea wound up and I was walking through the lobby of the hotel, I was approached by a man who seemed out of place. It turns out he represented a developer who wanted to buy the property. He didn't enjoy being told to fuck off. I ran a gauntlet of five other representatives for developers as I left. For fucks sake, at my mother's funeral tea!

I headed back to the house. If I thought today was a bad day, I wasn't close. The shit hit the fan. To be more accurate the shit hit the fan blades of a jet engine on full thrust. I saw a notification on my laptop. I checked it as the kettle was boiling. It was a video of Audrey and Mitchell fucking in our matrimonial bed. That in itself would have been fucking bad enough but the date and time stamp showed it was during mum's funeral!

I had just been going to divorce her quietly, deal with him but not now. I have never felt rage like it. I knew about their disrespect to me but to do that when mum's funeral ceremony was ongoing. I wanted vengeance and more vengeance.

I called mum's solicitor. Anne managed to fit me in that afternoon. She was as shocked as I've ever seen anyone as I explained. She loved mum, everyone did. When I left, we had a plan.

I spent the next few hours moving my money to new accounts. I contacted a removal firm who would be able to attend at my former home and uplift what I wished to take on the following Thursday. I knew Audrey would be away on "business."

I went into my office and spoke with my boss. I could work from home just as well and come into the office when needed. Picking the right times would mean a forty-minute commute. The Scottish Government were still recommending working from home or a hybrid at worse.

There is no law about fucking a marriage at work so I couldn't sue the firm. I saw the investigator on the Wednesday and he gave me the information of their going ons. There were some explicit photos taken during business hours. The conferences were just room and board with lots of fucking in hotels paid for by the company. They were due back in the office on Friday late morning. Audrey never came straight home, probably wanted a last fuck to keep her going over the weekend.

On Thursday, the removal men took everything I wanted from the flat. I took the guest bed as it was very comfortable. I shit on the matrimonial bed and put the covers over it. I'd deliberately had a very hot curry the two nights before so it was very loose and widespread! I had to shower before I left.

On my way to my new home, I went into their work and spoke with their boss, Mr Brown. I was still wearing my black tie and when asked, explained about mum. He told me he was sad to hear my mother had died. I told him what they were doing while the funeral was ongoing. I gave him the package and told him I suspected Mitchell was using the firm's cash for their liaisons. He was mad, bloody mad. I hoped he wouldn't have a stroke.