E.M.M.U.
A brief history first. The above is Enforced Money Management Unit. It is the title of a spread sheet that I came up with a long time ago when I was struggling with debt and did not earn enough money. It took me a while but I was able to turn myself around and now I am about to retire early as I have saved enough of money to keep me going till my State Pension starts. Do not take me wrong I am not rolling in it but why work when you have enough money monthly not to.
I had goodbye emails and the normal stuff but one from a friend who I saw sometimes in the lift as we were going to floors of work, emails every so often but nothing unusual really. Her name was Emma and when I knew her she had a few boyfriends but was a bit on the wild side but we got on well.
It was now two weeks into my retirement and I felt as if I was just on holiday and would have to back to work at some stage, which was scary not having too.
There was a knock at my door and it was Emma. She looked a bit upset so I invited her in, not really sure what was going on, I presumed she had a bad break up or something. What I was not expecting was the following.
Emma was 3 months behind on her mortgage repayments.
All her credit cards where maxed out
She had not eaten anything apart from a burger since yesterday.
No 3, I could deal with straight away and set about cooking something for her to eat, whilst I did that she talked and boy did she talk. It was if my doing something for her had opened the gates. At the end of it all she had one question. Can I help her, she would do anything I asked?
I will skip a bit here.
I said that I would help but I wanted something back for as long as I was helping her. "You did say anything, right?"
"Anything." She said
"You will be my sex slave for the duration of the agreement that takes place to get you back to a good financial position. I will have complete control of your money, I will go through you bank statements and see where you can save, I will organise the rental of your house for a minimal of 12months. I will show you the spreadsheet and keep you up to date with your debt reduction until it ends." A short but concise sentence if ever there was one.
"You have 24hrs - After that there is nothing doing."
Emma looked stunned as I brought in the food for her to eat, she ate everything I had given her and as she finished her last mouth full she just said "Yes I agree."
I was a bit stunned at that but I quickly came to my senses and wrote down the agreement and I signed and dated and she signed and dated as well.
For now the rules will be as follows.
You will always be naked in the house.
If I say do something you will do it straight away any hesitation will be punished
"Strip." Was all I said.
"What?" was all she said.
"Not a good start, rule 1 is you will always be naked in the house, so strip."