IT HAPPENED
Over these 10 years since Tim opened my eyes to what could be, I climbed up the corporate ladder until I found myself the VP of engineering! A stunning climb I honestly never expected to attain given my introverted nature and constant deference to the alpha men around me.
At this level my stress only soared. Now everyone around me kissed my ass - including friends and family that now treated me differently. So my need to escape the constant decision making and ass kissing only grew.
My boss in my new role only lasted 6 months before he retired, and he lived on the opposite side of the country so we were only ever face to face 3 times. But upon his retirement he strongly recommended I join his "executive club" of like-minded executives. I felt honored and privileged to spend 2 hours every other week with this group of seasoned executives picking their brains to help me be more confident and capable. A role that demands a level of respect and compensation I never dreamed I'd reach in my career.
I was excited to log into my first couple meetings with this group and start to learn how to be an executive. The topics were typical - how to deliver bad news, how to manage 1-on-1s, how to command presence during meetings. I didn't learn much but I was enjoying this time with like-minded people in similar roles as me.
After the third meeting the leader of the group sent out an email that the next meeting would be in-person over dinner close to my office. I wasn't presented with the option to decline, and as I already established I have a very hard time saying no to people I perceive as being above me. So I clicked accept and marked it on my calendar as a late work thing. I knew I'd have to lie to hubby about why I was home late that day because when he heard I joined the group he instantly said the guys in the group would want to get together for drinks and what not and I didn't want to show him just how right he was.
So I lied to him and said it was a late business review with Asia and not to wait up for me with dinner.
I dressed up nicely for this dinner because I wanted to impress this group of alpha male corporate climbing executives I've only had Webex meetings with thus far. When I walked into the dinner the organizer of the group (Mike) had reserved a private dining room for us. As I walked in and found a seat I once again noticed I was the only one in the group with a vagina, and they were all white men. Very typical scenario my entire career.
As the wine was poured and the dinner progressed I felt out of place once again. You'd think I'd be used to this by now, but I had hoped there would be at least one more women in the group to give a perspective or attitude that was unique to us that these men simply could not understand. I simply cannot relate to these wildly over-confident alpha male white privileged men. And as the only woman they are of course competing for my attention.
After all these years, the strides I've made in my career, the efforts to just be one of the executives, I'm still being seen as the only pair of tits in the room. Fuck this shit is getting exhausting. I get another glass of wine. Wait...is this my third? Fuck it. It is clear now that I'll never end my career as anything but a pair of big tits to a lot of these guys who can't seem to look me in my eyes.
Just as I realize I've had too much to drink with the second glass of wine, the third is sat in front of me. I try to baby it, but I'm already feeling very very relaxed and having fun with the guys. I'm really starting to enjoy all 4 of them flirting with me and I begin returning the favor. I had no idea what time it was, and was positive I needed to stay out a few more hours before going home drunk to hubby who would know I wasn't working!
Ohhh fuck my throat is burning! Someone handed me something and I just drank it down without looking at it. Scotch I think! Head really spinning now.
As the meal is done we all stand up to talk in a corner of the restaurant so we can be more face to face and chat with more than just the person to our left and right. I barely notice the occasional glance over my ass, or guy stepping close enough to talk to me to have my tits pressed against his stomach. The flirting and laughing continues as the topics of conversation get more and more personal.
They are teasing me about the way I dress. Too conservative...too masculine! Fuck this is reminding me of Tim at my last job who shamed me into showing up to work looking sexy after a few months. Now they are pushing it - one is betting I'm wearing granny panties! They all agree except Mike who assures them I have more class then that!
At this point the waiter comes into the room to remind us they've been closed for a while. Mike quickly lets the group know he has a hotel room across the street and we can go over there to keep getting to know each other.
Normally there is no way I'd do this, but I've had far too much to drink and I cannot drive or go home like this. So the 5 of us pay our bill and walk across the street to his hotel room.
Luckily with two beds and a few chairs there is plenty of room to sir and keep chatting. I try to ask some stupid fucking business question about continuous improvement processes. They guys boo me! Literally boo!!! Wow. Ok fine.
All of us are still pretty drunk from the dinner when Mike goes over to his language and pulls out a bottle of Scotch and a few paper cups and pours 5 out for the group. I drink mine a little too fast.
Greg gets back to our earlier conversation, "So about those panties Selena. Granny panties or something sexier?"
My drunk face gets red. A sober version of me would have laughed him off or told him to fuck off like I should have. Drunk me says, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours Greg?"
And this is the turning point that changes everything.
All 4 guys unbuckle, unzip, kick their shoes off, and pull just their pants down. I'm now looking at 4 grown men wearing dress shirts and ties, socks, and their underwear.
Big grins on their faces.
Before I can think, and as always wanting to just be seen as one of the guys, I unbuckle, unzip, and slide my pants down while kicking my shoes off. I hear laughter and talk about which guys were right and which were wrong, and then a discussion on who pays who??? Realizing they literally bet on what kind of panties I wear!
Pat then quickly asks, "Does the bra match those boring granny panties? Or is it sexy at least?"
As I get ready to respond they all 4 start removing their ties and unbuttoning their shirts! Before I know it they are wearing nothing but socks and underwear standing in front of me.
Again, alcohol and my daddy issues cause me to follow suit. Only bra and panties between me and them now as again bets are discussed and payments argued over.
I also notice that despite 5 of us in the room, all eyes are glued to my "assets."
