Rage. Pain. My butt. My back. Everything hurt. Here in the car. The pill didn't work. Sitting hurt. My wife. This bitch. She was responsible.
Experimental therapy? Bullshit! My wife should vent her anger. On me, her scapegoat. Her therapist had dressed me. Head mask. Gag. Eye mask. Black leather clothing. The upper back free. Butt also. Fixed to the punishment bench.
My wife was clueless. I was a detainee. Promised me detention relief.
"Here you have a whip and a cane. Let your anger out on this anonymous man."
She did. Inhibited. Carefully.
"Come on, no false hesitation!"
Then the call. The therapist left. All inhibitions fell. First the whip. On my back. Then the cane. On my butt. My roars muffled. From the gag. My tears drained. Into the mask.
The therapist shocked. Ended the punishment. Freed me from the gag. Removed the mask.
The confrontation. My wife froze.
"If I had known, it was you, I would have killed you! I'm healed. Thanks."
That was it. The end of my marriage. My wife was gone. The pain unbearable.
"I'm sorry."
Was that all? Really?
"Here's a painkiller."
Sometimes it does not work. No restart of the relationship. Bad luck.
I was at home. Parked next to my wife. Why did I get hard? Despite the pain?
Rage. Indignation. Me, the victim. Me, responsible for garbage, dishwasher, shopping, cooking, feet massage, income. No sex for that. Only bleating. Me, her scapegoat.