"Look honey, it's the only way we will have the cash to make payroll."
"But it's risky, Magda."
"Not really. I'm sure to assess for enough collateral. It's no different than floating on credit for a while when the checking account runs low. We just need to get over next week's hump. Everything evens out after that. We repay the loan and go on about our business.
"If something goes wrong..."
"Oh, come on sweetie, the economy is roaring along. We're doing great. This is our chance to really rake in the bucks!"
"It's not just filling out papers you know. By all accounts, the assessment process is beyond humiliating."
"I'm a big girl, Joe. Yeah, I'm not crazy about getting naked in front of the loan officers at the bank, but it's not like I'll end up on the auction block or anything. My assessment file will stay in the hard drive at the bank. That thing's not even connected to the internet! Once the loan is repaid my file will be wiped and my glorious naked physique will reside only in the memory of the loan office staff."
"I still don't like it. Maybe I should do it."
"You know women assess much higher than men. We've talked about this before, we're both curious about what I'd bring on the open market. I mean, take a look at me!"
Joe gazed at his gorgeous wife. At thirty-five, she still turned the heads of men of all ages and quite a few women. Long, red, almost crimson hair, trim, nubile figure, fantastic legs, and large, firm tits. She looked at least a decade younger than the calendar claimed.
"I'll be able to easily bring in the bucks we need. I'll go to the bank when it opens, grab lunch downtown, and be home in time to make dinner for you and Jerry. Since it's work-related, I won't even have to take a vacation or personal day. Isla can run things for the day."
"But if something goes wrong..."
"I love you like crazy, husband, but you have to cut out the worrying or you'll give yourself a coronary. I intend to grow old with you, Mister!"
**
"Everything seems in order with your paperwork, Mrs. Hamilton."
The short roundish chief loan officer paused. Magda suppressed a giggle. By design, she had worn a short skirt and a tight blouse with a plunging neckline. The little perv couldn't keep his eyes off her.
"But, while I'm sure, you will assess for the figure in question. If, however, you sign for a ten-year enslavement commitment, it pays out at a far higher rate."
"Then sign me up for that!" returned Magda.
"It is at this point I issue the standard disclaimer. In the event that you fail to repay your loan by the specified date, or the bank asks for payment early, as is its right, Imperial Banking Corporation of North America will claim said collateral, namely, you, and take it to the open market in an attempt to recoup its outlay."
"I am well aware of that, Mr. Hicks."
"Fine, then the last thing that must be done is to have you properly assessed so that we know that we are getting a fair value for our money. Please follow me."
Three hours later, after a degrading and humiliating physical and more than three score of photos that Magda would never want to see the light of day, she was back in her clothes, even more than the amount she requested on a cashier's check. The only bright spot of the entire ordeal was when the bank officials informed her that her evaluation, nice as it was, was left intentionally low.
"Quite frankly, Mrs. Hamilton, if you were to hit the open market, this bank would do very well indeed."
She could hardly wait to tell Joe how much, unofficially, they claimed she really was worth. The cashier's check went from Mr. Hick's hands to her hands, to the teller's hands to the joint business account shared with her husband. All she left with were receipts and unpleasant memories.
Later that night, however, Magda stood naked on a chair in her bedroom while Joe shouted out price guesses.
"Higher!" she squealed.
Joe named a figure.
"Higher!" repeated Magda.
This happened several more times before Magda chuckled, yelled, "Sold!" and leaped into her husband's arms.
"Really?" he asked in an amazed tone when their prolonged kiss had ended.
"Honest to God!"
"Holy shit!"