Lilah was aware of being carried, and aware of dark and light--soft fabric against her back, and cool liquid against her lips. Aware of his voice, deep and sonorous, all around her.
Then his voice was gone. Lilah slept fretfully. Shadowy giants menaced the air above her, and she would startle out of her slumber only to re-submerge into restless darkness. When, finally, her eyes opened fully, the giants were still there, filling the room with their hard voices and looming close above her.
She jerked, startled, and then forced her muscles to loosen as she registered her surroundings.
There were four people in the room with her, and naturally, her eyes sought him out first, even though he was the furthest from her.
Magnus stood with an electronic tablet in his hands, Saphir at his side. Both men were very still, however, and watching her. When Lilah's eyes met Saphir's, he averted his gaze. Lilah looked back at Magnus, who continued to regard her without expression.
"Miss Claremont," spoke one of the others at her side. She tore her attention free from Magnus and turned it on the speaker. An older man, sitting beside her bed. Daegon stood a few steps behind him, a mammoth presence that she chose to ignore. The speaker's hair was salt and pepper, and his skin was lined with maturity.
"I am the physician overseeing your care. You can call me Gentius." His voice was brusque, but not unkind, and he watched her with the studied neutral expression she'd observed in nearly every educated Imperial officer. "How are you feeling?"
She sat up, and looked toward the sky-ship window. They were moving.
Magnus studied her reactions with even more intent than usual. Lilah was aware of this, yet now she felt none of the stormy intensity that had been inextricable from his gaze.
"I need to use the lavatory," she said, turning to the physician.
The physician glanced at Magnus before he moved to help her up, and she let him guide her to the appropriate door. After escorting her through the threshold, Gentius propped the door nearly shut. She could hear Magnus instructing the others to leave the room.
Her motions were mechanical and slow as she relieved herself, not particularly concerned about privacy. She had only a vague impression of the washroom, a grey, metallic, minimalist space, very different from the elegant white spa she'd been treated to when Saphir had groomed her.
When she washed her hands, her eyes drew to an imperfection in the color on the metal wall. It was a pale blotch about a centimeter in size, like a glare of sunlight, peering out of a cloudy sky. It reminded her of something cold and distantly nostalgic.
After a time, a voice infiltrated her thoughts.
"Lilah," he said, and she realized it wasn't the first time the voice had spoken. Magnus was standing in the doorway, looking at her.
He reached down and tested the water with his fingertips, only to swiftly draw his hand away to turn off the faucet. "Lilah, you..." he said again, taking her hands in his and turning them over. They were red from the heat, she realized. Magnus guided her to the bed, and she sat on the edge obediently. They were alone together in the room. She realized she was wearing a nightgown, white and gauzy and feather-light, that she hadn't seen before. Then she realized Magnus had left her, that he was rooting around in Gentius' medicine bag.
She watched him return to her with a bottle of some salve or another, and lower to his knees in front of her. He seemed to be searching her face for something--some feeling perhaps--the way a scout would study an enemy camp. But she didn't have any emotion to offer him. All she felt was tired.
He applied the ointment to her hands, slowly and gently, his hands firm and slightly calloused. She could have told him that was hardly necessary--that she wasn't really burned, but the idea of opening her mouth to say anything, to even summon any vocal inflection, seemed like a laborious prospect.
His touch was warm and his movements were firm. Her eyelids grew even heavier as he worked the ointment into her skin. After he had thoroughly treated her, he touched his palm to her cheek.
She dutifully raised her eyes to his, but when he sought something in her gaze, his own turned shadowed with disappointment.
He rose and stroked her hair. Lilah neither flinched nor sighed. He paused, contemplative and--for once--indecisive, then left quietly.
~ < > ~
Magnus shut the door behind him and turned to face Saphir, Daegon, and Gentius.
"Attend to her," he said, gesturing the latter two back into the room. "She isn't to be left alone."
He caught Gentius by the arm before he passed through. "I want regular updates on her condition."
"Understood," the physician replied brusquely, and Magnus let him by.
Once the door fell closed again, he turned to Saphir.
"The serum--could it make her feel less pain?"
Saphir tilted his head. "No," he replied with certainty.
"Are you sure?" said Magnus.
"It's never come up on any test I've run--including the ones on myself."
Magnus nearly growled. "Something's wrong with her. Something's
broken
."
Saphir was still tilting his head, his expression full of the cold calculation he only showed to Magnus.
"My liege..." he said, "
Everything
is broken. This is mourning."
Magnus rested his hand on the wall. "I need to do something about it."
Saphir crossed his arms over his chest, glancing back toward the door. "What is your goal?" he asked.
"I need to pull her back. She's been mine to have and take as much as I pleased and thus far her submission had been enough," Magnus said, and touched his hand to his forehead. "But now...there's no point having her if there's nothing about her left to be had."
"Are you losing control of this?" Saphir asked.
"I think we both know at this point that I've lost it," Magnus said, glancing at him.
"If you're open to suggestions..." Saphir ventured. Magnus leaned back and signaled that he was listening. "She needs to be given a sense of purpose again," Saphir continued, "Something to anchor her mind and make her world feel larger than just pleasing you."
"That's something I can try to arrange," Magnus mused pensively.
"In the meantime..." Saphir paused to lend greater precision to his next choice of words. "I think it would be helpful to limit the amount of influence she feels from you. I know you want us to be close to guard her, but at this point, our presence does more harm than good. She needs someone new as her caretaker. Someone who isn't yours."
There was a pause, and he amended, "Or at least, who she doesn't entirely perceive as yours."
After several uncomfortable moments of silence, Magnus straightened with a frustrated sigh. "I'll take it under advisement," he muttered briskly as he proceeded down the corridor.
~ < > ~
Lilah became consumed by a restless energy. She had taken to pacing and tidying the room when Magnus was away from it--smoothing towels and sheets and attacking every bit of dust.
He would enter to see her with a damp cloth in her hand, scrubbing at any unpristine spot of she could find, but she would force herself to settle in his presence. He seemed suspicious about her acquiescence at times, and other times, he seemed simply discontent. She would have fretted about this before her attempted escape--afraid he would sell her to something even more cruel, more ruthless. Now, her heart was too wooden to feel any such fears.
They hadn't put her slave collar back on, and they didn't force her into any lavish dresses or elaborate cosmetics. She was given soft, simple garments to wear and they fortunately afforded her flexibility of movement--which she was gratified for a few mornings in when she found herself fixated on the upper railing above the enormous window one morning--but when she set about moving a chair to stand on an clean it, Daegon was beside her in a moment, hauling her carefully back down.
When he had her feet back on the floor, he turned her to face him and gestured once with his index finger, "NO," he said, firm and emphatic, and returned the chair to its place in front of the desk.
So, Lilah set about polishing a rail at the base of his bed instead, and when Magnus returned to the room shortly afterward and found her like this, he bent down and snaked his arm around her waist, drawing her back firmly against his chest.
"Lilah, give me an answer this time," he said, his voice husky but more urgent than it was sensual, in contrast to any other time he had drawn her into such a position. "Why are you so desperately cleaning every speck of dust you can find?"
"It's something to do. There's no point sitting around worthlessly. I might as well be doing cleaning," she said, turning toward him when he loosened his grip enough for her to do so. "Unless you'd prefer that I serve you."
She turned toward him, fully ready to honor the offer.
He paused, still and watchful.
"Is something the matter?" she asked.
He looked at her, his eyes moving from head to foot. Lust and concern seemed to war within his eyes. She felt only the most distant curiosity about what he was feeling.
"..No," he said, after deliberating. "Go ahead."
She knelt down, and freed his member from his pants. It sprang loose, erect, but not as hard as it usually was when she held it.
She took his cock in her mouth, and the training he'd given her before her escape returned to her readily. She worked her lips up and down the length, dutifully and thoroughly. Up and down. Up and down.
After a few minutes of this, she heard him say her name, and even in her haze she could tell that it was distinct from how he would normally say it in these moments. She lifted her eyes and saw that he was looking down at her with a markedly perturbed expression. It was only after she withdrew him from her mouth and glanced back in front of her that she realized he'd gone soft.