Mary looked up from the rocks at the sea shore where she was collecting clams and then stared in astonishment as the raiding party came ashore. Except for them having blue skin, bulbous bodies and many tentacles she might have mistaken them for the Vikings described by her grandfather when he choose to recount horror stories from days of yore. She released a blood curdling scream that could have cracked the church bell had it not been a quarter of a mile distant, and on higher ground.
"Chooooooorda!" the lead blue monster yelled and changed its direction to intercept her.
"Chorda yourself!" Mary yelled, and scrambled up the bank trying to gain distance.
By this time several of the village field laborers had come to the shore to see what the fuss was about. With their sleighs and pitchforks they attempted to organize a defense of the village, but suddenly the monsters had razor sharp claws poking from their tentacles and were basically cutting the makeshift militia to ribbons. Mary looked back as she heard someone scream, gurgle and then sigh, and saw her brother's best friend Jake lying disemboweled on the sand. She lost her footing, struck her head on a rock and blacked out.
When Mary awoke she was lying on the floor of a boat and around her was a sea of blue.
Wait, she thought. This is the wrong shade of blue for the sea, and I am in a boat. Oh my God, I am surrounded by monsters. She quickly realized that if the monsters had killed all those men she saw, then she was no match for them. Her only chance was to prove she was not a threat. In fact, perhaps she could be useful to them. But what could a many tentacle blue skinned monster want from her, she wondered.
She reflected on their behavior. They must be male, she thought, based on their violent behavior. In other parts of the world there may have been mighty Amazons capable of beheading men with a mere glance but Mary lived in medieval Europe. Yes, they are definitely male, she thought. And there is one language all males understand. She got up from the floor of the boat and kneeled while her head cleared.
"Choorda! Zuni choorda!" one of the monsters said. They all brandished their claws. Mary crouched down and tried to look as non- threatening as she could. The monsters soon relaxed and went back to their business. Mary looked around to find the biggest one. Perhaps if she befriended him, he would protect her from the others.
She slowly walked on her knees to a large monster at the head of the boat. When she reached him, he turned and faced her.
"Choorda!" He yelled.
Mary again crouched down avoiding eye contact. While she was waiting she noticed that the monsters stood on some tentacles, and used others for reaching things. There was one tentacle, however, that was shorter than the others, that didn't seem to do anything.
Perhaps that is their willy, Mary wondered.
She again moved closer to the leader. He brindled a few times as she approached, but each time she crouched down and tried to look as meek as possible. Eventually she was within arm's distance. He was staring at her by now. She reached out and gently touched his short tentacle.
"Neeefu?" the monster enquired.
Mary kept quiet for fear of offending him. She began to gently caress what she decided was his penis. It was not like a human one that needed to harden to be functional. It was also thinner, but about one third longer than the average human one. It was also muscled and behaved a bit like a tail.
"Neeefu," the monster moaned.
By this time Mary was very close to the monster. She began playing with the tip of his penis while gently licking along the shaft.
"Neeefu, neeefu."
