Author's Note: All characters depicted are eighteen or older.
The following story takes place entirely in the realm of fantasy. The story represents situations that are often non-consensual, degrading to women, and discusses the owning of human beings as property. These elements are meant purely to sexually excite, and offer no reflection of my actual political or moral leanings.
March 5, Evening, Continued
[Drawn in the margin: A rose, a sunflower, and a dandelion, all sharing the same vase]
Margaret fled up the stairs, and my eyes went to Kat. My beautiful, hyper-active, sort of friend, sort of lover, stared at me with wide eyes. I said nothing as our eyes met. Kat shook her head.
"I guess we need to talk about that," She said.
Kat had seen Margaret kiss me. It was unwanted, unasked for, and uncomfortable.
"I... didn't," I struggled to explain myself, which was difficult because I didn't really understand what had happened either.
"Let's talk upstairs," Kat suggested. I agreed, my heart still pounding in my ears. I don't remember saying goodnight to the girls, or ascending the stairs to our shared bedroom. With our bedroom door closed, I tried to process Margaret's kiss. Kat, as is normal for her, was abnormal.
"I have no idea where that came from," I said, locking my arms around my knees. I sat on the bed, confused, scared, and pleading with Kat to believe me. The two of us had never put a name on our relationship, but we were *something*, and I was scared she'd feel betrayed. I was scared she'd think I had wanted it.
"Margaret's pretty into you, huh?" Kat said, sitting cross legged beside me on the bed. Her bright, big eyes were wide with interest, showing no hint of malice or betrayal. I was so worried about how Kat might take it, I hadn't considered exactly why Margaret had kissed me.
"Oh, I don't know. I don't think so. I didn't think so," I repeated, confused. "I mean, definitely not. Right?"
"No, she was definitely into you. She had her hands all over you too," Kat confirmed, a surprisingly gleeful smile creeping over her face. My face burned with embarrassment as I remember the rather forward placement of Margaret's hands, one on my back and one my... chest.
This was not a line of thought I wanted to entertain. Margaret had kissed women before. Master Morgan's girl-on-girl fetish often necessitated shows of performative lesbianism. Margaret's kiss, however, had taken place far outside of any bedroom, away from any kind of fetishistic leering by our boorish Master. I could not deny reality.
"Yeah," I said meekly. Confused, I looked to Kat for answers. "Do you think she was coming onto me romantically?" My worried face and pleading tone was completely lost on the excited Kat.
"I'm hoping so," Kat replied excitedly, heaping on my confusion. It seemed only decent for her to be jealous, or irritated with Margaret, or even confused herself. Kat's speculative excitement was terrifically unhelpful.
"You... hope so?" I asked.
"Yeah. If she's crushing on you, there's a chance we could negotiate a threesome. That sounds like the hottest thing ever," Kat smiled at me.
I confess, it was not simply that Kat's jealousy would have been 'decent'. Deep down, maybe some part of me thought that Kat and I were to a point where I had earned her jealousy. Maybe some part of me wanted her to be upset with Margaret for kissing me.
"Kat. What the fuck?" My confusion and uncertainty were quickly being replaced with irritation. It was just so much to feel all at once.
"What?" She replied, "Picture it. You, me, Margaret, arms wrapped around each other, naked bodies rubbing..." Kat wiggled her eyebrows.
"I can't talk to you right now," I spoke harshly, angrily. Much to Kat's surprise, I snatched up my pillow and headed for the door.
"Wait, what's wrong? Marcie?" She called after me. I took only a second to reply.
"Please don't follow me." I shouted, overwhelmed. I needed space, and time to think.
-
I threw open the door to my old, shared bedroom dramatically. Yvette was kicked back on her bunk with a music player and some headphones. Beneath her, Abigail peered over the top of her reading glasses, surprised. I cut her off before she could say anything.
"I don't want to talk about it," I said. Abigail nodded, returning her attention to the romance novel in her hands. Dropping onto my old bunk, I curled up around my pillow and faced the wall, head rushing with a million thoughts.
I was so overstimulated, I switched through fifty different emotions in ten seconds. Fuck Margaret, fuck Kat, I hope I didn't hurt Kat's feelings because I like her, I hope I didn't hurt Margaret's feelings, actually, no, fuck them both, actually, I feel guilty for no reason...
Margaret's got feelings for me, I guess. Why else would she kiss me? She seemed pretty intentional about it.
And Kat's a thoughtless horndog. It shouldn't surprise me that she just wanted a threesome, but it did. She seemed so indifferent to everything, and that hurt more than I thought it would. I didn't realize how much I was falling for her until now.
I shrieked into my pillow, which barely muffled the sound. The only response from my roommates was a quick, worried glance. I was equally grateful for Abigail's mature, respectful distance as I was for Yvette's utter indifference.
Feeling every emotion in the world, all at the same time is exhausting. I lay silently on the bunk, trying my best not to explode.
Our bunkroom door opened quietly, regretfully, as if an inanimate object could apologize for its function. I twisted my head back and met the eyes of Margaret. She stood in the hallway, face glum and downcast in her ridiculous cream colored nightgown. My heart jumped as I waited for what she might have to say.
"Master summoned you," She was monotone and direct, merely fulfilling her duty as head slave. Our fearless leader betrayed no sign of the strange, impulsive romance from earlier. Margaret was very good at showing a professional facade, regardless of her emotional state.
"Promptly, please," She continued. I rolled out of bed, lowering my gaze to avoid her eyes. If she could be professional, so could I.
I started to walk past her and out of the servant's quarters, but she stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.
"With Shauna," She said. I almost asked why, but it wasn't difficult to puzzle out on my own. Master Morgan probably wanted a threesome. Shauna would not be happy about this.