It felt like it was finally going to be my time and at the age of 21 I wanted to break through into the acting world but I soon learned how dangerous Bollywood was. My father, Rahul Oja, had been an actor all of his life and as his daughter I wanted to follow in his footsteps.
Since the age of 12 I was enrolled in acting classes and dance classes. This was at the direction of my mother who wanted me to become the actress she never became. Since the age of 16 I had been on a strict diet regime to prepare myself for Bollywood. My father was more reluctant as he never liked the inner workings of Bollywood and wanted to protect me from this world.
I had the luxury of going to college in America and I learned to become independent and confident but upon my return I was under the watchful eye of my father.
My father had worked on the outskirts of Bollywood all of his life. He preferred working in art house projects and was a renowned theatre actor. He considered acting an artistic endeavor and did not enjoy the glitzy world of Bollywood.
I had greater ambitions and wanted to become a star, an icon, someone whose name would emblazon billboards. It was an impossible task as there were so few women in these big roles but I wanted to change the industry.
I had attended a number of auditions with my father by my side but they were not fruitful and I had not received a call back. My father was very particular about the directors and producers I could work with. I had to accept that I would be under his large shadow in this world.
"Kiran, you need to work on the art. I don't know why you want to work in Bollywood. No actor was made working in Bollywood. Theatre is where the real actors work or working with exciting independent film makers will make you into an actress," my father was repetitive and persistent but I wanted to be in a big movie and was not willing to settle for less.
A part of me felt that with my father by my side I would always be held back from my real dreams. I had met Rishma at one of my last auditions. She was young and looking for her break like me but she knew more of this world and I remained in close contact with her. One day she told me her boyfriend was working security at a party for Bollywood celebs this weekend and he would let us in to the party.
I eagerly accepted the invitation and needed to do some networking of my own if I was going to make it in the industry. My father was very watchful over me as their only daughter but my mother encourage me to be more independent. I had to sneak out of the apartment while they were sleeping as I knew my father would strongly object to this idea.
I was wearing a short black dress (very short to get attention), my hair was curled and my make up was subtle. I had youth on my side so never needed to overdo make up. My dress hugged my body tight and my figure was revealing. The dress fell just short of my bum and I made a note to watch how I sat and moved to not let it ride up and flash the party goers.
I took a taxi to meet Rishma at the hotel where they were holding the party. I called Rishma as there was a large queue and entrance was only allowed to VIPs.
"Are you in the queue?" I asked as I could not see her.
"Don't be silly. No one is getting in that way. Walk around the corner to the side entrance." I walked to the side of the building and saw Rishma waiting for me.
She looked stunning and we greeted each other by kissing on either cheek. I thought my dress was short but Rishma's dress was so short her panties were practically visible and I noticed she was wearing a slutty thong. I wondered about Rishma's intentions tonight as her dress suggested she was not going to play coy.
"You look stunning girl. What is the plan to get in?" I asked.
"You look hot. You will get someone's attention. My boyfriend is coming to open the door. Look, there are some important producers here and if you want to get noticed, you need to flirt and I mean really flirt," she said with a wink. I thought to myself was she planning on sleeping with someone to get a role? Would I? No, I would never want a career in that way but flirting was harmless.
She opened a small pouch she took out of her purse and poured the contents on to the outside of her hand. It was a white powder that she took a sniff of the powder before offering me some.
"I think I just need a drink," I told her as I worried about the friends I was making.
"It will take the edge off," she told me but we were luckily interrupted by her boyfriend opening the doors. She put the powder away and cleaned her nose.
He sneaked us in through the kitchen and we entered the party without much notice. The party was filled with stars and they all seemed to be in their small groups but I was pretty much ignored by most of the younger people. I knew most of the directors and producers there but they all had their little groups and I was not able to break through in conversation or be taken seriously.
I was on my third drink when Ajay Gupta approached me. I, of course, knew of him and he had a Midas touch recently. My father was selective over who I worked with and he refused to let me work with Ajay or even audition for him. A major reason was due to the number of blind items that were written about Ajay. He was notorious in Bollywood and many women had been warned to stay away from him but no one would dare speak publicly against him.
"Kiran Oja, was your name on the invite list?" Ajay asked taking me by surprise. He had a pleasant smile and it made me take his dig about the invite list in a lighthearted manner. How did he know my name? I wondered to myself.
"How did you know my name?" I asked confused.
"I always keep an eye out for emerging talent and you have impressed in your auditions but what are you doing here? Where is your daddy? I have heard he keeps you on a leash. Perhaps he is afraid you will be a bigger star than him," Ajay is teasing me and I roll my eyes.
I can see Rishma out of the corner of my eye with Sanjay Panjari. His hand is under her skirt and he is groping her while they casually talk. She is constantly laughing at everything he is saying and leaning against him. No one is that funny and I know that is just something I could never do. He is a creepy older man that is old enough to be her grandfather.
"Is that your friend?" Ajay asks as he notices my eyes on Rishma.
"I wouldn't say friends exactly." I say trying to distance myself from her behavior. "If I am so talented, why can I not get a role?" I ask him trying to change the direction of the conversation.
"Do you want career advice from me? I don't think your daddy will appreciate it." Ajay says. It begins to annoy me how he keeps referring to my father and calling him 'daddy'.
"My father is also my agent. All I know if this world is what my father lets me see. I need an insider's opinion," I ask him and he seems to enjoy being seen as my 'insider'.
"Let's take a seat over here." He guides me with his arm around my waist and taking my drink. I am guarded and careful of his hands. He briefly runs his hand over my ass and I feel my dress lift briefly but he remains within his limits.
We take a seat in the corner of the room and he hands my drink back to me.
"So you want my honest advice. Have you ever asked yourself why your father is rarely cast in Bollywood? His name has a black mark against it and it seems that you are also tarnished with it," Ajay explained. My father's emphasis on theatre and artistic movies made so much more sense now.