Day Three
Catrine was roused by an indifferent butler. He had come to escort her from Arick's chambers. As she exited his apartment, the King didn't bother to look up from his morning paper.
She should have felt relieved by his sudden indifference towards her. But, for as much as she had dreaded being in the presence of King Arick, she now felt equal dread in the idea of returning to Master Ryan.
'This is all that I am,' said the voice inside her mind.
The butler bid her to wait outside the door to Ryan's suite and she responded by dropping to her knees and lowering her gaze. King Arick hadn't returned her dress, so she knelt there naked and battered, shivering with both cold and nerves.
The knocking startled Ryan awake. He kicked over the still half-full glass of whiskey that rested on the floor beside him as he rushed towards the door. When he first opened it, he only noticed the butler and stood there momentarily confused. Then, he recognized the kneeling figure beside him.
He dismissed the butler with haste. He bent to take both of Catrine's hands before pulling her quickly into his room. He closed the door, locking it securely, before pressing his back against it as if trying to keep out the rest of the world. He was so relieved to see her. He breathed deeply, calming his adrenaline fueled mind, reassuring himself that she was back safely with him.
He advanced on her quickly and wrapped himself around her, hugging her close. He felt the now familiar feel of her hair against his cheek while her unique scent filled his nose. He was so happy to hold her that he didn't register at first that she had remained still in his arms.
"Catrine?" he spoke gently. He loosened his embrace, searching for her eyes, but she couldn't meet his. Her face was pressed against his shoulder, facing away from him. Her eyes shut tight.
"Catrine?" He whispered to her again, his voice filling with concern. He pressed his lips against her hair and muttered her name softly, again and again. His emotions practically shouting, but his lips barely making any sound.
A tear slipped down her cheek as he rocked her gently in his embrace.
This is all that I am.
She felt the remnants of Arick's brutal violation seeping down the inside of her thigh. It disgusted her. Shame overpowered her as she realized what they had reduced her to. What was left after so much savagery but the ghosts of her past and an endless, empty future?
This is all that I am.
His soft words, his warm embrace, his gentle touch. Ryan was everything she wanted and everything she could never have. She yearned for kindness, protection and love. She was crushed by the agony that it could never be hers.
This is all that I am.
There was nothing for her in his breathtaking embrace but pain; A pain worse than anything that she had experienced in her two years of servitude. A pain much deeper than anything her other masters had inflicted.
This is all that I am.
Tomorrow she would return to that warehouse, to those vultures, to await a new Master and his wicked plans.
How could she survive that, having felt with him what it was like to live again?
She shuddered violently and pulled herself away from his grasp. She needed to escape the comfort of his arms. She was coming apart and couldn't bare the idea of unraveling in front of him.
Not knowing how to escape him, she quickly asked, "Master, may I please take a shower?" But, she avoided his gaze entirely.
"Oh. Yes. Of course." he answered immediately, berating himself for not suggesting it. He released his grasp on her body and she scurried away from him quickly. He stood there, alarmed by her state, as he watched her flee from him into the bedroom.
She turned on the shower and stepped under its cascade. She had hoped it would sharpen her mind, but the effect was the opposite. Intense shivers traveled through her and she felt like her knees would suddenly give way. She pressed her hands against the cool tile walls as an intense wave of nausea overtook her. Stumbling once, she fell backwards and crumpled to the wet floor, sobbing openly into the spray.
—-
He had wanted to give her some privacy. She had clearly been distressed when she returned. But she had been in the bathroom for a long time. As the minutes ticked by, his mind pricked with alarm. He warred with himself, wanting to check on her but afraid of smothering her with his own worry.
He walked into the bedroom and heard the shower still on. He knocked and slowly opened the door, calling to her. When she didn't answer, he opened it fully looking towards the glass enclosure where he expected to see her standing.
She was practically hidden there. Slumped against the wall at the far corner. She seemed so small. As he neared her, he realized that she was shivering uncontrollably. The water had long since turned cold. He turned it off and knelt at her side. She looked like she had been crying, but she made no sound now.
He reached out to touch her, but stopped short. In the bright bathroom light, he suddenly noticed how badly she had been beaten.
"Shit." The word escaped his lips before he even realized he'd said it. He was stunned.