AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter mentions incest. Reader's discretion is advised.
My therapist brought up something new the other day.
"From what I've known about you, it seems like you really struggle forming connections with people, and from what you say, you don't even want to try getting close with anybody. Is there a possibility that you could be a misanthrope?"
Somebody who holds a great disdain for society...I suppose that's true.
I learned from an early age that this world is run by facades. I've seen it first-hand: how men say they're in a happy marriage, only to rush to their side-chick on the weekends. Or how loving fathers would dote on their young daughters, but with the intention of using them as a replacement for their worn-out wives once they hit puberty.
The things people would do to scratch at those dark, sexual urges is hilarious. I've tried to avoid those kinds of people, but it's impossible when they lurk behind charming smiles or high reputations. That's why I like it here, in my little apartment, minding my own damn business.
But, a woman still has needs, and I've been looking for them online.
There's this guy I've been speaking to and he's entertaining. We met on one of those sex chat sites and within a week, he was already infatuated with me.
"God damn girl...Look at you," he said over video chat, "They're all natural?"
"All natural..." I smirked, referring to my breasts that I presented on camera. His right hand slowly exited the screen, down towards his erection. "You don't know what you do to me," he leaned back and revealed his shaft shimmering in precum, fisting it with his hand.
This was my life now: cyber sex. If I could choose not to fuck around with men then I would, but they are so addicting when it comes to this. My body is conditioned to love this. I couldn't help it if I tried.
"Holy shit, I'm gonna cum," he jerked himself off desperately, "Watch me, baby!"
I nodded with half-lidded eyes, feeling my own orgasm reaching the surface as I guided my vibrator in and out of my pussy. The toy was good enough for a quick cum, but it doesn't match up to a real dick. This vibrator was no longer than the length of my hand, still if you angle it just right inside of you, it can create the most amazing sensations.
My internet fuck buddy looked like the kind of guy that would call his mother everyday. His brown hair was neatly combed back, he was thin but not very muscular which gave him an almost prepubescent figure despite being 22. His tattoos helped him look more masculine though, he had one going down his whole right arm. He told me he planned on covering his left arm soon once his next paycheck gets in.
This guy shuddered before the thick streams of his cum coated his fist, then I followed. "Damn girl, it's crazy you haven't got a man yet. You sure you're not married? I would've wifed you up by now."
Men...they always pile on the compliments after they nut. It's cute how predictable they are.
"No husband hiding in here!" Me being married would be the same day that I become a millionaire. What's insane about that is that I was so close to getting that.
In my 29 years of living, there was only one guy I was so consumed by that it scares me thinking back on it. The person I was when I was with him is somebody I never want to see again. Somebody cruel and selfish. It's the very behavior I hated seeing in other people. But, I'm not like that anymore.
I've had enough sex in my lifetime to satisfy me, now the rest of my days will just be...living. If I even stepped foot outside the place, I'm worried that the cops might grab me again and change their minds about letting me go for what I did.
"Can I ask a question?" my internet buddy asked.
"Sure, what is it?"
"Would you go out with me?" He said, "I know it's fast, but you're so different from other girls. I don't wanna miss out on something special."
I was taken aback, "Really? I mean, I'm flattered, but-"
"I know, but just think about it, okay? I really like you a lot!"
Maybe it was because he just helped me cum, but that offer didn't sound too bad to me. My heart started racing at the thought of meeting this kid. But, we just met, so meeting him outside of here would be very risky.
"I'll think about it..."
"Good!" he flashed his pearly teeth, "When you say yes, tell me what day I can see you."
"Hold up now!" I said, "It's not a promise. Besides, I haven't left my apartment in months..."
"Why not? How is that even possible? Are you running from the feds or something?"
My eyebrows furrowed, feeling triggered at the mention of the police.
"No! It's just been a while. Not even sure where we would go for fun."
"That's why I'll take you out on the town like a gentleman. I'll pick you up if I have to."
I hadn't thought of that. If he could just drive me away from here, then I don't think it'd be so bad. He told me he lives in another state just beside mine, so the authorities wouldn't be searching for me there. I don't think so.
"Do you even have a car?"
"Uh, of course I do!" he said, "How else would I get to my classes and work everyday?" He leaned in closer to his camera, giving me a knowing smile, "Stop making excuses and live a little, won't you? I promise I won't bite."
The thought of being outside again was more than appealing. I had ideas in mind: walks in the park, a movie, going on a roller coaster, I could use our date to my advantage and have one final hoorah before I shut myself in forever. Worst case scenario, if he's a creep then I'll pay for a taxi home.
Against my better judgment, I said, "Sure, I can do that."
We set up our date the following week. I dressed up in a long polka dot dress that was dark blue like the midnight sky. It wasn't revealing, unless you count my bare arms and a tiny bit of cleavage. I was conservative before my isolation and I was even more so now.
The only thing I spent a lot of time making perfect was my hair. My long, auburn locks were curled and bouncing down my back; it was the first time in a while I felt so pretty.
My friend picked me up in front of my apartment. He was confused when I looked both ways after exiting the building and rushed into the car. He joked about me hiding from the police again. I wasn't happy with that, so I leaned forward and kissed his cheek to switch the topic.