As we walk away from the Desert Rose and her home, I can't help but feel kind of odd. Despite the answers I received from Re'aila to questions I'd never asked, I still feel like there's a great amount of confusion weighing on me. It bothers me.
I'm also left with a dull ache of negativity sitting in the pit of my stomach. When I saw the Desert Rose with her body undulating in Eryx's lap, my displeasure at the sight was violent, hitting me hard and fast. I hated how her body seemed so strong and womanly. I hated how she positively oozed raw sex and passion. Most of all, I hated the expression on Eryx's face - pained pleasure written across it clearly for me to see.
When he leaned over and threw up, I felt a flat sense of vindication at the back of my mind.
It's not that I was jealous. It's just... He was being completely disrespectful of why we came here in the first place.
But a small voice in the back of my head reminds me that he escorted me to the Desert Rose solely because I wanted to. I can't blame him for wanting to get his dick wet while I was off talking to the ghost of my dead ancestor.
But I do.
I grit my teeth, frustrated with my own thinking and its infuriatingly cyclical nature. There are so many more important things I can be thinking about, but it's like my frustration and anger at seeing Eryx balls-deep in the Desert Rose is simmering, and the more the scene plays through my mind, the more ready all of the mess of it is to explode.
"Miss Selene-"
"You were enjoying yourself back there." My voice sounds empty in my own ears. Damn it. The words came out before I can stop them.
He's quiet for a bit, the only sound accompanying our slow gait the soft footfalls of us and his horse. "It was to protect y- us."
I want to shoot him a venomous glare but tamp it down. I don't even want to look at his face.
He sighs. "When you were away, she threatened me. She threatened our safe passage if I didn't do as she wanted."
"Is that so?" I say, only slightly petulantly.
He grabs my arm near the elbow, and my surprise at his strong grip makes me turn to him. Our eyes meet, and I couldn't tear my gaze away even if I wanted to. He's angry.
"Do you think I wanted it? Do you think I wanted her?" He rips his robe open so I'm faced with his bloodied frame. I didn't fully see how bad it was earlier because I'd tried not to stare at him in all his nudity - but now I see how he must have been dripping blood despite the lack of scars or wounds across his smooth skin. There are smears of red everywhere.
His forceful touch on my arm reinforces the sudden shame that fills me. At the same time, it's thrilling and I... a flush arousal flies through my blood. I drop my eyes, embarrassed, and similarly Eryx drops his hand from me.
He continues walking forward slowly and I can only follow after him. I feel like a child, even despite the very adult feelings that I'm conflicted with.
It's a while more before he speaks. And when he does, his speech is halting, as if he's thinking hard about every sentence before he lets it leave his mouth. "I've made a lot of mistakes when it comes to you, Miss Selene. I feel- I feel as if I've failed to show you the kind of person that I really am. But- I'm someone who sacrifices a lot for the people I love. Don't just think that I'm a selfish bastard. That's all I can ask of you at this point."
As he speaks, I think that I can almost hear a hitch of emotion in his voice. I think back to what he told me about his childhood and I don't doubt his sincerity.
"I believe you." My words are soft.
"I'm sorry I let you see what you saw." His voice is controlled, emotion bit back. Suddenly, we're not just talking about what I saw back at the Desert Rose's cottage. I can't continue the conversation, there's too much tension between us. So like a coward I don't respond, and we just walk forward, our footfalls on the Desert Rose's white petals muffled.
"She said we should make it out sometime soon," I say, biting my lip. I feel nervous making any conversation. There's too much between us that's unsaid.
"Maybe we just haven't covered enough ground yet."
"Would it be a bad idea to take your horse?" I'm looking at him, but it's almost like he's avoiding making eye contact with me. "We're probably going to need him when we make it out of here anyways."
"I- I don't think that's a great idea." I don't push it. If he wants to let the tension take over so we can't even communicate more than one sentence at a time, then I'm giving up. I'm not in the mood to pursue uncomfortable conversation at the expense of my pride, anyways.
And so we resume walking side by side, slowly, and wordlessly away from the Desert Rose.
---
As soon as I'd opened my robe to show evidence of areana noressa's abuses, it's like my body was responding to excessive amounts of lembi. My anger from Selene's misunderstanding was quickly replaced by arousal. It left me confused while I tried to sort out my feelings and explain even a little bit of the remorse I feel when it comes to anything to do with the small Sorrean girl walking now by my side.
But even with all of the turmoil that I feel raging under the surface, something else commands my attention. It feels as if the pressure between my legs demands stimulation. The magic that areana noressa pumped into me, coupled with her pussy at odds with the salve she had smeared all over my erection, all of it threatens to take over my rational mind. I feel it sizzling beneath my skin, like everything wants to burst forth from out of my body.
When Selene suggested we travel on horseback, just the thought of her body between my arms and her bottom flush against my pelvis was enough to drive me to madness.
I rub a hand over my eyes, wishing for this nightmareish erection to die down. But something inside tells me that there's only one way to make it go away, and it's not something one does in polite company.
I'm so aware of Selene walking next to me as I consider my options. If my internal clock is right and areana noressa's realm follows the same time as the rest of the world, then it'll be somewhere around dawn. The thought that the sun will be coming up makes my heart skip a beat as I remember what'll be happening in Gra'marah.
My head throbs. And I stop walking.
"Can we just camp here for the night?"
"Yes," the reply comes from beside me. It sounds more like a question than agreement.
"I... I'm going to go look for some firewood. Feel free to do what you think is best," I wave a hand over the rest of what I packed, not able to look her in the eyes. I wander away slowly, picking up material for us to make a fire. Luckily this part of areana noressa's realm is thick with forest and brush, so it doesn't take long before I'm carrying more than enough for a fire tonight.
