The Valentines Day Contest was fast approaching and I had no ideas at all. Last year I had one early and placed in the contest. This year my Muse was off on a holiday somewhere having a ball while I sweated bullets over a cold keyboard. That was the way the little redheaded bitch was and there was nothing I could do about it.
With a deep sigh, I picked up my glass of Jack and water and downed half of it. If I ever got my hands on that little redheaded bitch, I would tie her up and spank her naked ass until she couldn't sit down. I grinned at that thought and took another long drink.
One more chug and the glass was empty. I eyed the glass for a second and then got to my feet. "This will never do," I said aloud as I turned and stumbled over my office chair.
Wobbly, I staggered on toward the kitchen. A refill was in order.
Ice I had plenty of, water I had plenty of, Jack, now that was another story. I squinted at the bottle with one eye half closed. It didn't help a bit. There was still only an inch in the bottle. That would never do, if I were going to write a contest winning story. An inch was less than nothing, I ponder as I fixed another drink. Something had to be done about this situation.
I realized that I was too drunk to drive, so I picked up the phone. Thank goodness for speed dial, I thought as I punched three on the phone. 1, was my ex girlfriend, 2, was the corner grocery, 3, was the liquor store, 4, was.... Well, we didn't need to go that far. Anyway, I always lost bets I made when I was drunk.
"Hello, Friendly Liquor, how can I help you?"
"Hey, I'm a friendly licker myself," I told the lady with a laugh.
"Evening Mr. Tex, what are you out of this evening?"
"Ideas and Jack Daniels," I said with a chuckle. "Send over a dozen of each and my little redheaded Muse, if you happen to see her."
"Ideas I have plenty of but probably not any you want to hear or my husband would approve of," the woman said with a giggle. "How about two bottles of Jack and a redheaded delivery girl?"
"Right now, I'd be open to most any idea. I have a deadline and nothing to write about."
"Sorry to hear that. That last story you sent me has damned near killed my husband several times."
"I'm happy for both of you but that ain't getting a story written now. That is if you don't have pictures of you half killing your husband. Those might ignite the writerly juices."
The woman giggled and said, "Tex, you're a funny, funny fellow. I'll have your order on its way in a few minutes."
*****
A little while later, I was sitting on a stool at the breakfast bar staring into an empty glass. The empty bottle of Jack got a frown ever so often also. "How do they expect a thirsty man to write stories when he's.... Uh.... Thirsty."
The doorbell rang and I looked at the chimes on the wall. About the third time they rang, I made the connection between them and the door. Leaving my empty glass on the counter, I stumbled to the door and opened it.
I had to blink several times before my eyes focused on the short, cute little redhead with a fifth of Jack under each arm. Somewhere in my mind, a switch clicked and I grinned. I reached out and pulled the bottles from under her arms.
My eyes focused on the deep cleavage at the top of her green sweater and I licked my lips. "I don't know where the hell you've been but it sure helped your boobs," I said and licked my lips again.
"What?" The young woman with the bright red dyed hair asked with a confused look on her pretty face.
"Your boobs, they're twice as big as they used to be," I told her. I reached out to see if they were real but a bottle of Jack already occupied my hand. I turned and walked back to the breakfast bar to set the bottles down.
As I crossed the room, I heard my muse say, "What the fuck are you talking about. I don't know you and certainly have never showed you my boobs."
I chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, you're the same little bitch you've always been. Come on over here and have a drink. I have an idea for a story all of a sudden and I need to talk it over with you."
"Pay me for the booze and I'm leaving," she said flatly.
"Don't be that way. You know I always pay you for your ideas one way or another. Anyway, I owe you a spanking for being gone so long and not being here when I needed you."
"You are one crazy motherfucker," the young woman whispered to herself. To me she said, "Pay me so I can go."
I walked back over to the door, bent suddenly, and lifted the woman across my shoulder. I turned carefully to avoid hitting her head on the door and carried her inside, closing the door behind us.
"What the fuck?" she yelled, struggling to get down from my shoulder.
"You've gotten heavier and bigger. You used to sit on my shoulder with no problem," I told her.
"Put me the fuck down," she yelled, struggling ever more.
I sat her on the barstool. "There's no reason to yell."
She jumped up and headed for the door. I grabbed her around the waist and tucked her under one arm. "Put me the fuck down," she yelled again as she beat on my back with both hands.
"You're repeating yourself," I said as I carried her down the hall to my office.
"I'll rip your dick off and feed it to you," she yelled almost frothing at the mouth with anger.
"This will never do," I said as I stood in the middle of my office with her struggling under my arm. My eyes came across a pair of my pajama bottoms lying on the floor. I put my foot on them and pulled the drawstring out of the waistband.
"This should do the trick," I said as I sat down on the bench of my workout machine with her across my lap. I used the cord to tie her hands behind her back. When she kicked her legs, her tight short skirt rode up to show the bottom inch or so of her bare ass.
I slid her across to the left on my lap and moved my right leg to trap both of hers. My left hand held her upper body in place as I pulled the skirt up higher. She wasn't wearing panties but then again my Muse never did. I ran my hand over her firm warm ass for a moment and then grinned. She was in the perfect position for that spanking I had visualized earlier.
"When in Rome, do as the Roman's do," I said with a grin and then frowned. "I think that only pertains to orgies."
"When in Dallas, do Debbie," I said next and then added, "I think that has to do with porn or something."