Hello, my name is John Logan, and I have super powers. Recently I found out I have a twin brother and sister, who also have super powers. Together we joined a secret government organization that seeks to protect the world from villains who possess similar abilities. Our greatest enemy is a man named Sarco, the Snake man, he leads an army of people like us with abilities, but they're evil, seeking to take over the world. My Twins and I are going to war with them.
A few months ago, I was a geek, and a sexually frustrated one at that. Until one day, I discovered I had the ability to turn invisible whenever I got a boner. I used my ability to spy on all the hot girls who ignored me. I did that until I met a girl named Melody, and I fell in love with her. After I met her, I didn't need to peep on the innocent anymore, I just needed her. Her smile was enough for me, her soft touch was enough for me. She was taken from me, kidnapped, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. She was taken by an old friend named Jenkins, who joined Sarco and also gained super powers.
It turned out that my powers wasn't really invisibility; but really the ability to change people's perceptions of reality. Even down to what they feel, and I don't just do it when I get boners anymore, I can do it whenever I want, although it seems to be stronger when I do get a boner. All that and I still wasn't a match for Jenkins (whose power seems to be a giant penis). He can grow his penis to any size and use it like a giant whip, strong enough to knock down a building.
After she was taken, I was heartbroken and thus the war began, it was my Boner against the world
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John looked out the window of the helicopter, thirty choppers buzzed near his, each carrying about twenty armed soldiers ready for battle. John looked away from the window and stared down the long line of soldiers. He was put in command of these men and women; and he was half expecting to see Sam and Theo with him, but they each had their own helicopter full of soldiers.
Suddenly John's radio switched on and a loud voice buzzed into his head "Attention! This is Captain Gordon Chase, our ETA is 5 minutes to the LZ, prepare to kick some ass!"
"You heard that guy... who I know. Lock and load or whatever..." John yelled, his voice trailing off as he noticed his unit staring at him. "You know... Let's kick some ass and get some pussy!!!"
I'm never going to say that again, thought John.
"Yeah," all the soldiers yelled back at him.
The helicopters zoomed low over the jungle trees, Sarco's mountain which housed his evil base, and it's large cave entrance, came into view. The mountain was a tall spire of beige desert rock that stuck out like a sore thumb against the rich greens of the jungle. John's helicopter touched down in a small clearing near the mountain. The other helicopters were spread out around it; they were all to meet at the giant cave entrance on the north side of the mountain before starting the assault.
John followed the twenty scary looking soldiers as they carefully made their way to the clearing around the mountain. The cave was insight.
"What are we waiting for?" asked John, looking at his soldiers anxiously.
"We have to wait for the others before moving in sir."
"Oh, ok... I'm just gonna go on ahead." John announced as he suddenly walked out into the open.
The enormousness of the mountain suddenly hit him as he walked towards the cave and away from his soldiers who were freaking out. The mountain reminded him of a penis; in fact this mountain was called the 'World Dick' by the local natives. John spun around quickly, hearing screams of terror coming from where his men were. He watched horrified as his men ran out into the open, each on fire.
"Oh my god! Oh my God! Oh my God!" John said over and over, running around in circles, panicking as he watched all of his men die. "What do I do!? What Do I do?!"
