My Landlord Is An Alien

Author's note: Yes, this premise is insane. I'll be honest, it came to me in a dream and once I woke up, I thought it had potential. Probably some people think it should be in NonHuman, but a) said non-human has a human host body and b) if I were looking for "an alien uses an unwilling woman to explore human sexuality" erotica I'd come here first.

*****

"Have you seen Randall? He never came by for my rent check last week. Which is cool, really, but I don't want him to evict me next month or something because I never specifically sought him out or whatever, you know?" Kay took a breath and waited for Jas to answer. She always felt so wrong-footed around her housemate - Jas was so tall, and thin, and clear-skinned, and generally perfect-looking, and, maybe most importantly, cool. Kay had never been cool, and didn't expect to become cool anytime soon. She wasn't tall, she wasn't thin (although that meant she had a pretty good rack), and she didn't have anything like the air of detachment and unconcern Jas kept up on a constant basis.

"No," Jas said, and went back to her magazine.

Randall was, of course, the landlord - the owner of the house where Kay and Jas lived, and resident of most of it apart from their two bedrooms and shared kitchen/dining space. At first Kay had felt some trepidation about living in close quarters with a strange man more than ten years older than her, but he'd never made any kind of move toward her (or Jas, as far as she knew), and she'd never found any cameras hidden in the bathroom.

"It's really strange," Kay went on, feeling a bit of a fool, "that he hasn't been around at all. It's not just that he didn't come for a check, I didn't see him doing any yardwork or anything, and his tv hasn't been on in the evening. That's weird, isn't it?"

Jas shrugged. Going forward, Kay tried to only make sensible declarative statements to her, and to stop worrying about where Randall might be.

Randall turned up that evening, anyway, suddenly appearing in the open doorway after Kay and Jas had finished cleaning up from their dinners. Kay glanced at him, and then looked back - there was something odd about him. She noticed his eyes first, fixed straight ahead; he was turning his head slightly in order to look around the room, and it was also strange that he seemed to be looking at the kitchen as though he hadn't seen it before.

"Hi, Randall," she called out, wiping her hands on the dishtowel. "I can get you the rent - just a minute, I left the check in my purse." As she walked into his field of vision, his face shifted from a blank expression to one of glee, and his left arm shot out abruptly as he grabbed her wrist, bringing her up short. It was so sudden and out of character that she didn't even respond at first, just blinked at him with her mouth open.

"I wonder if you would partake of a meal with me?" he asked, tilting his head a little to one side as he fixed his strange gaze on her. His speech was stilted, with the slightest pause between each word, and even his voice seemed subtly different.

"I, um, I just ate. Are you okay?"

"I am in good health. I am curious as to your health? Will you partake of a meal with me?"

"This ... I ..." It was just so weird that Kay couldn't find any words to respond.

It had been clear earlier that Jas Didn't Care about what was going on, but then she started to seem concerned (still in a dangerous, cool way). "Hey, man, you're acting fucking weird. You gonna ask me on a date, too?"

"Negative. Your form is not as pleasing."

That stunned both of them for its insanity on two levels. Three, really, when Kay considered that their landlord would never ask one of them for date because of a "pleasing form".

"Who are you," she asked slowly, "and what have you done with Randall?"

Randall's eyes unfocused for a full thirty seconds, then refocused. "I have permission from my superiors to enlighten the two of you in order to facilitate my mission. This body has been requisitioned for use in our investigation of the culture of your planet. You will aid me in experiencing human life or consequences will ensue."

"You really think we're buying -" Jas started, but Kay interrupted her.

"What consequences?" Jas gave her a disbelieving look, but it seemed like the right thing to do to kind of play along, if he were really losing it, just until they could call 911 or the police or something.

"I have permission to use physical force if necessary to convince you to do as I require. I also have permission to make limited use of technology when it will be more useful than force. In the event that you alert any other humans to my presence, I will be removed immediately and any of the humans you have alerted will be destroyed. In the event that this body is harmed, I will be removed immediately and the human that has harmed me or allowed me to be harmed will be destroyed."

"Jesus Christ." Jas shook her head. "I can't deal with this. I'm out."

"If you require a demonstration, this can be arranged." Randall held up his right hand, palm aimed straight ahead at Jas. There was a strange buzzing in the air that Kay felt more than heard, and the plate that her housemate was holding suddenly crumbled into dust. "Are you sufficiently convinced?" Kay definitely was, and Jas was quiet, her face having lost all of its cool detachment. "Very well. How are you identified?"

"I'm Kay, and that's Jas - Jasmine."

"Jasmine. You will prepare me a dish of human food. I am to engage in as many human experiences as possible. Kay." His head swiveled around to stare at her. "I have accessed this body's memories, and they show that it finds your form appealing. You will permit me to examine it."

Kay's free arm came up instinctively to cover her body. "What?"

"I must examine your body in order to better understand the female human form." There was a long pause. "Failure to comply will result in the use of force, physical or technological." If he could disintegrate a plate from across the room, then what else could he do? Slowly, she lowered her arm; in response, he let go of her other arm. Kay glanced over at Jas, who raised her eyebrows and then turned back to the refrigerator, clearly thinking along the same lines.

Alien!Randall's first touches were impersonal and light: he gently held her head in his hands, then ran them down her neck, shoulders, and arms. Coming back up on the underside of her arms, he then felt his way back down her sides until he would have had to bend to reach lower. He paused for a moment, then reached directly out and palmed her breasts, squeezing them slightly through her shirt and bra and weighing them. Kay stiffened momentarily, but then, remembering that she had to go through with this, clasped her hands behind her back to make sure that she wouldn't slap his away. After several exploratory squeezes, he began to shift his hands around in order to palpate them in different places and from different angles. It was so clinical that it almost felt normal ... to have an alien feeling her up for research in the middle of her apartment.

Once he was done "better understanding" her chest, his hands moved down to her waist.

That

was less upsetting, and she relaxed slightly - although it was embarrassing to have him playing with her soft, squishy stomach, especially in front of Jas and her solid abs. Then he moved lower, running his hands over the front of her jeans, briefly prodding between her legs before moving to the back. He seemed fascinated with her ass, squeezing, weighing, and inspecting each cheek in about the same way he'd dealt with her breasts. In order to fondle it he had to step closer, pressing himself up against her, which let her feel that he - well, his body - was getting hard.

"Food's ready," Jas said, interrupting his concentration and setting a plate of spaghetti on the table.

"That is welcome. I am eager to try human comestibles." He let go of Kay immediately and sat down (not gracefully) in front of the plate. "Jasmine - you will sit here. Kay - you will sit there." He indicated the chairs on either side of his, and the two girls sat in them, not looking at each other. Or at least, Kay couldn't bring herself to look at Jas. When she finally did, Jas was giving her a scornful glare, and she looked back down at the table.

"This food is problematic," Randall complained. Scooping the pasta up with the fork was a failure, and so eventually he picked it up with his bare hands and brought it to his mouth. Evidently, based on the noises he made, he enjoyed it. When he was done, he sat straight in his chair again. "It was still agreeable. In the future Jasmine will prepare meals at whatever frequency is normal for humans for this unit."

Predictably, Jas objected. "We make our own food. I don't cook for her - or you."

"That is inefficient. Your role in this investigation is to ensure that this unit runs with efficiency."

"I have a job, I'm not going to stay here all day and take care of you."

"You may leave for your employment obligations and to purchase supplies. I believe that your culture uses a currency which must be procured in order for the unit to function. Therefore your employment is of importance and will not be interfered with."

"And what about

her

?"

"You are requesting information about Kay's role in this investigation. She will be of use in examining the body and responses in the human female, especially in the context of human sexuality. It is likely that other roles will develop."

Jas only snorted, leaned back in her chair, and crossed her arms.

"Now that the meal is finished and the body has replenished its energy we will continue. Jasmine will remain seated. Kay will stand again." Continue? He hadn't groped her enough already? Kay obeyed anyway without complaint, and stood beside the table. Randall also got awkwardly to his feet. "Now you will remove your protective garments."

"What?"

"Your garments. You must remove them so that the investigation of your body can continue."

With shaking hands -

this cannot be real, this can't be happening, it can't be

- Kay pulled her t-shirt over her head, then unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down her legs. It took all of her strength, and all of her fear of being disintegrated or mentally tortured or something else like that to put her hands back behind her again afterward as Randall looked her underwear-clad body up and down (and Jas stared as well).

"You will explain the purpose of these inner garments."

"Well, um, I. The one on top is, um, a bra. It sort of ... holds me up? And then my panties are, like, I don't know, to keep everything clean down there?"

"The 'bra' is a piece of structural engineering." He stepped closer again and ran his fingers under her bra straps, tugging on them alternately and then together, causing the flesh beneath them to ripple. Then his fingers dipped inside the cups, feeling around to see how her boobs rested in them. After all that, which was bad enough, he reached upward underneath the bra band, squishing her skin around and reminding her again of the twenty-pounds-at-least she had on Jas (who honestly looked like she was enjoying it). "It is of some interest to me to see how your chest appendages will appear when it is removed."

"They're called tits," said Jas. Kay knew she was blushing hard, but she couldn't make herself correct her housemate.

"I see. And the pant-ees ..." The alien ran Randall's hands over them, and rubbed a finger back and forth over the gusset. "They are very light. I surmise that they are worn more for ceremonial protection than for a real function." He tested the elastic around the waistband and legs similarly to the way he'd tested her bra, then lightly took hold of the gusset and tugged at it. "There is no structural engineering to speak of. You will now remove both garments."

As Kay started to unhook her bra, he peeked behind her to get a look at the mechanism, then returned to a deadpan, intense stare at her breasts while she took it off. "I can see that the tits drop down when the bra is removed. While they are less prominent, this body is now responding with greater urgency."

"Do you have to narrate everything?" Kay almost shouted, blushing even harder; at the same time, Jas helpfully remarked, "We would say that your

cock

is getting

hard

."

"It is good for terminology to be more accurate," he told Jas by way of a thank-you. "Yes, Kay, I must describe what is happening so that it is properly recorded in my notes. The tits are capped with nipples not unlike the male body's but larger, and they are now stiffening. What is this reaction in response to?"

"It means she's getting hot for you," said Jas. "You know how your cock is hard? It's like that."

"Your help is appreciated, but it is important that Kay describes her own feelings in order to achieve maximum accuracy. Kay, is it true that the changes to your nipples reflect your arousal?"

"No! It's just that it's cold in here. Or, I mean, it's obviously not cold, but there's a draft."

"Understood. So the stiffening of human nipples is entirely unrelated to sexual arousal?"

There was a long pause. "Well, no, I mean, not in general. Just right now it isn't."

"This is somewhat confusing, but understood. You will remove the panties now." Kay tried to do it while squatting rather than bending fully over, but it was humiliating all the same. Both Randall and Jas could see her entire body now - Jas was completely contemptuous, and seemed to have lost all her attitude at being an alien's servant in the pleasure of comparing her perfect body to Kay's, while Randall's face was expressionless even as his hard length pushed out his pants. Randall stepped closer again to repeat the physical examination he'd given her before he ate. This time, when he reached her boobs, he gradually increased the pressure on them until she was forced to whimper, at which point he loosened his grip and started to jiggle them. "The tits can withstand more pressure than expected. They are composed mostly of fat, and are not firm in comparison to the limbs - when I shake them, they respond very easily." Now that he'd found her nipples, he toyed with them as well: pinching them, pulling them toward him, pulling them up and letting go. "The edges of the nipples are less sensitive than the centers. They are flexible and stretch when pulled. Perhaps more study is needed."

He ran his hands over her sides and stomach, this time gently kneading them, and then turned to her ass. "The flesh on much of the torso gives easily. There is more flesh on the back of this female body than the male host body, helping to form a series of curves as gender differentiation." Now when he came to the place between her legs, he didn't merely run his hand over it and pass by - he seemed extremely interested. "The female sexual organs are very different from the male. There is a cleft here, in the middle of which is a lacuna which is secreting thick fluid. Kay, is this the everyday state of your sexual organs?" Jas laughed as Kay hesitated.

"No," she finally said.

"Then why is it secreting fluid at this time?"

"Because I'm ... I'm ..."

"Is this a sign of sexual arousal?"

"Yes." It was almost a whisper.

"Then would you say that the current state of your nipples is more likely to be related to sexual arousal than the temperature?"

If it weren't for the lack of expression on Randall's face, she would have sworn he was getting off on humiliating her by making her admit that this was turning her on. She didn't

want

to be like this, it bothered her that sensational news pieces about women being forced to strip or stories about obedient slaves made her get that shivery feeling inside - but it was how she was. "Yes. I was ... wrong, before."

"This is good to know." He suddenly plunged two fingers into her. "The lacuna is deep. It is to be presumed that the male organ is inserted into it in order to achieve intercourse. Kay, you will position yourself to begin."

"Wait, what? But - I don't want to have sex with an alien!" Especially not on the kitchen table, and in front of Jas!

"Your body's arousal indicates that it is willing and prepared for sexual intercourse. What is the preferred position in your culture?"

She froze, and Jas piped in again. "We have lots of positions. You could put her on her back on the table, or bend her over it, or bend her over one of the chairs, or sit on a chair and put her on your lap facing you, or facing away ..."

"That is intriguing. Human sexuality is creative and requires further study. The simplest solution at this time would be for Kay to lie on her back on the table, it would seem." He looked her full in the face, and she realized that she would have to position herself for him. Closing her eyes, she backed up to the table, put her hands on the edge for balance, and leaned back until she was resting with her feet just touching the floor. Her legs were somewhat apart and her knees bent; as Randall came forward, fumbling at his zipper with awkward fingers, Jas hissed, "

Slut

."

"What is the meaning of this term?"

"It's what we call female humans who get ready for sex easily," said Jas. "Normally it takes a lot more time for us to get wet, or to spread our legs, but Kay's a little slut."

"Kay is not little."

Jas laughed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. She's a big slut."

Pulling apart her legs, Randall stood between them, his cock - a

lot

larger than Kay had imagined it would be - jutting out and pointing toward her. "Jas, you have been most helpful. Will you provide more terminology?"

"Sure. See this little thing?" Jas half-stood, leaning over Kay's body like it was a mannequin, and spread the lips of her slit. "That's her clit. It's really sensitive. Then this - what were you calling it, lacuna? That's her cunt. These are her cunt lips." She pinched them to make sure the message got across, and Kay flinched.

"Most useful. Now I am lining up the cock with her cunt, and pushing it inside. It requires a certain amount of light force, but slides in well." He moved so slowly, and Kay's hands formed into fists at her sides.

"Well, yeah. Like I said, she's a big slut."

There was a moment where Randall stood unmoving and quiet, fully sheathed inside Kay, with his hands now on her thighs. "Kay? Have we achieved sexual intercourse? Is there something more for the male to do?"

"I ..." She had to swallow several times; her throat was too dry to speak. "Generally, the man moves in and out of the woman until he ... finishes."

"She's so bashful!" Jas said. She seemed to be really getting into it, her role as Randall's teacher and Kay's tormenter. "We would say: comes. And it's polite for the man to make the woman come first." She reached out idly and pinched one of Kay's nipples.

"By 'come' and 'finish', I believe you mean achieve orgasm?"

"Exactly."

Slowly, very slowly, Randall began to pull out of Kay. Once he was fully out, he reentered her and made as if to get all the way back in again just as slowly. She couldn't help it - Kay moaned a little. On the one hand, it was torture to be raped on her own table so slowly that it would take hours. On the other, she

was

wet and there was a part of her, growing by the minute, that wanted more attention. Jas laughed again.

"Humans don't pull out all the way, you can leave the tip in. And you want to move much faster. That sound? That's what girls do when they want to be banged hard."

It took Randall a minute to get a faster rhythm down, but once he did he took it up enthusiastically. "As predicted, the motion of intercourse is causing her unfettered tits to sway. Presumably a smaller pair would achieve less significant results."