My niece Jennifer had gotten herself into a pickle. The girl, who was consistently in trouble throughout high school hadn't changed much in college.
A recent set of whirlybirds in the school parking lot while showing off cause damage to her mother's car, which, if found off, would bring down a wrath of my sister unlike anything Jennifer had ever seen.
Jennifer would have gotten off lighter if she'd failed a course, came home late or stole a hundred bucks from the cookie jar. But that car was my sister's pride and joy. Well, growing up she called her breasts "pride" and "joy" (she never said which was which) but as she aged her souped up Dodge was something that brought her joy and took her back years.
"I feel like a teenager again when driving the beast," my sister had on numerous times said to any and all. "That ride is rad, is random, is, well, you know what I mean."
My niece Jennifer knew about her mother's obsession with the vehicle, I knew it, and when Jennifer came to me to fix her problem I knew it was time to really teach her a lesson she'd never forget. Thinking quickly on my feet, I came up with a solution that would not only solve her problem but also teach her a lesson she'd never forget.
With the help on a wonderful auto body expert in the dealership I manage, a guy who had reason to accept a challenge for the right price and who'd done tons of favors for me in the past, I weaved a plan in my mind to kill several birds with one stone. My sister was going to use her oral talents to solve the problem she created.
Jennifer had to be relieved I'd had a way to solve her problem, ensure her mother wasn't the wiser, but by the same token had to be taken aback at the price she'd have to pay. Still, it was her only way out.
Later that night after convincing my niece of the course of action I unveiled my twisted story to Will, the auto body expert extraordinaire. Leaving out some of the details, I did say it was a charity case, a personal favor, but one that would make him very, very happy.
Being careful to leave out some details, I did say he's be paid handsomely off the books in trade, leaving him wondering what kind of bartering he'd be getting himself into. We'd been friends for years, so he trusted me. Still, a lot of work for who knows what is a lot to ask even the best of friends.
"It's not illegal, is it? I mean, she didn't hit and run or anything?"
Laughing, I said no. She was fine with the law. She hadn't really damaged the light post, only my sister's coveted car.
"And the barter, isn't legal?"
Continuing the laugh, I said it was...in some states! I mentioned a cheerleader, sexy outfits and who knows what else to the guy to get his attention...and handiwork.
"Okay, you got my interest. I might regret this, but I'll be at the shop first thing tomorrow. It's Sunday, nobody will be around. Let me look over things... but I want more details."
At morning's light I was at the shop, leaving the back door ajar. Will arrived promptly, and looked over the vehicle. I had washed off the muck, so he had a good view of the damage. He felt here and there, rubbed a couple spots. Heck, he had the hands of a surgeon.
"It's not as bad as you led me to believe," said my buddy. "It looks awful, but I think there is maybe 5-7 hours of work. We will only need a couple parts, I mean, it's not an easy fix but it's not a super hard one either. Mostly personal labor."
Telling him to remember that, but to not let on to my niece the simplicity of the repair, I explained that Jennifer would be offer to ask for his help within the hour and to let me do the talking.
We left it at that, and got right to work. Working his magic he had the side panel off in no time and I was working on it on a bench following his instructions to the "T". At about 8 there was a timid knock at the door, and soon Jennifer presented herself to us in shorts and a sexy tee top.
"Hi guys, how's it look?" She was obviously concerned, as it looked awful. Parts were strung out here and there, the panel was off, and to the uninformed it was a disaster in front of her.
"It's worse than we thought," was all I could say, shaking my head. "Will thinks he can fix this up, but it will take time and money and a whole lot of hand labor. Yes, this was a doozy you got yourself into."
