Online Meating

**Author's note - this is super quick and super goofy. Comments and criticism are welcomed.**

Online Meating

(yes, 'm.e.a.t.' That's the level of humor you can expect from this one)

"You're expected to treat everyone with respect, as that's one of our 'CORE!' Values. Remember, that's Culture, Objectives, Respect, and Energy! Is there something funny Mark?"

Hearing my name, specifically from THAT mouth, was like a splash of cold water to my nervous system. I don't know how anyone could have confused this online call for humorous or entertaining, but it shouldn't have surprised me that I was called out nonetheless. The only thing worse than finding out your new boss is a frigid bitch, is finding out that the frigid bitch is your ex-girlfriend.

I hadn't seen Jackie in 3 years, but I immediately recognized the shit storm I was in when the online orientation started. My excitement over my new career shriveled up faster than my balls she stored in her purse (an archaic joke my buddies used to repeat way too often).

7 other attendees were on the call, each taking up a small square on my monitor. I recognized Rebecca, Jackie's long-time friend, as another new-hire but my attention was focused on the tight lipped, tight bodied, tight-ass that had previously tormented me for too too long. To make matters worse, she looked better than I had ever seen her.

Jackie had always kept her body tight, even before she was wound so tight. She's a stiletto heel away from being 5ft tall with a taut face stretched into a seemingly permanent frown. Her blonde hair was now pulled back into a similarly tight bun. I honestly liked it since it exposed her gorgeously long neck.

That neck pointed down towards a lean but toned body that was currently (and surprisingly only somewhat) hidden beneath a white blouse and black pencil skirt. The short sleeves really highlighted that she hadn't been shying away from the gym and her slight frame really caused her plump C cups to stand out from her torso. Jackie used to hate how much attention I paid to her tits, but she didn't seem shy about showcasing them now. I was shocked to see a 2nd and even 3rd button undone on her blouse, providing a glimpse of the creamy cleavage that I now missed seeing in its entirety. As much as I celebrated our breakup and detested our time together, I certainly wouldn't pass up another shot at fucking those funbags while Jackie daydreamed about whoever she thought could better advance her career. God she's such a..

"I asked what was so funny Mr. Madison."

"I don't think I was laughing Jackie."

"That's Mrs. Tartuffle now," she said while holding a ring clad finger closer to the camera. "I'll remind you to show the proper levels of respect and stop interrupting, or your career won't make it past orientation. You know what? I can see that's going to be a problem for you so I'm muting everyone and turning off your cameras. Please use the hand raising option if there are any questions."

Jackie took a moment to move her mouse around and I saw all of the squares but hers go dark. I had to assume that mine was hidden from everyone else as well. Fine by me. Not seeing Rebecca's mouth, a mouth that was seemingly crafted for face-fucking, made me a bit sad, but I still had Jackie's cleavage to fall back on. I was very okay with not seeing the rest of the attendees.

One of the perks of this job was that it was a hybrid role. We only had to go into the office twice a week so online meetings like this would be the norm. Well, at least it would be if there were any chance that I would remain employed here. I wonder if I'll quit before that bitch has the chance to fire me. Is 'drained by a harpy' sufficient cause to collect unemployment in this state?

Jackie prattled on and I ogled on, watching her boobs bounce whenever she became particularly animated about a subject. What kind of bra gives so much lift, but so little support?

We went over mission statements, values, expectations, bla bla bla. Benefits including medical, dental, free-use, optical, gym memberships...

Wait, what? I'm pretty sure I missed something important there. I saw Jackie roll her eyes when the hand-raise icon lit up indicating I had a question.

"What is it Mr. Madison?"

"I'm sorry, what did you say about a free-use policy?"

"If you had been listening, you would have heard me say that it's a management-level perk only. I assure you; you don't need to worry about it."

"Yeah, but...," I trailed off realizing I was muted once again and Jack-hole was continuing with her meeting.

My new boss's prattling went on for another 20 minutes and had gotten to the point where even staring at cleavage was getting boring when I heard someone enter Jackie's office from off-camera.

"Breaks should not exceed 10 minutes and will be timed....oh, hello Mr. Holt. I was just conducting the orientation session."

"Don't let me stop you, keep going," said a tall man as he maneuvered behind the seated supervisor. "I'm looking into a dress-code violation that was reported. This should only take a few minutes."

I have no idea what's going on, but this turn of events was at least interesting. I watched Mr Creepy-tall-business-suit-guy put his hands on Jackie's shoulders as she turned back to the camera and nervously continued with her meeting. I don't know if I had ever seen the Ice-Queen this rattled before.

"As..as I was s-saying, 21 minutes is l-late and you'll be expected to stay, oh!"

Oh indeed! I watched in absolute shock as Mr Holt's right hand slid down Jackie's shoulders and right into the neckline of her parted blouse. With no hesitation on his part, he began palming and playing with her tits as though it were the most natural thing ever. I could clearly see the outline of his hand beneath her top as he squeezed the pair of sensual stress-balls.

"Mrs. Tartuffle?" asked the grey-haired, older gentleman as he continued kneading her chest. His new position brought his face fully into the camera's view and his lips right beside Karen's ear.

"Y-Yes Mr. Holt?"

"Is this a bra that I'm feeling?"

"I'm...I....yes Mr. Holt."

"That sounds like a dress-code violation to me, doesn't it Mrs. Tartuffle?"

"Yes, but it's orientation and our new-hires aren't familiar, ah!"

From what I could tell, Creepy Guy had just silenced Frigid Bitch with a twist of what I knew to be a very sensitive nipple. I still have no idea what the actual fuck is going on, but I'm loving it!

"Don't worry, I'll let it slide this time," he said. "Stand up so we can take care of the infraction."

I watched a wide-eyed panic spread across Jackie's face as she stared straight into the camera. "Please," she practically whimpered. "Please not in front of them."

"Do I need to get Mr. Scott from H.R. in here? No? Then stand up."

Jackie, previously MY Jackie, stood unsteadily. The camera position left their upper bodies out of frame, but even a dummy like me could figure out what was going on. Especially since our molested moderator was still wearing her headset.

"Please, please sir. If I could just finish this, I can meet you in your office afterwards. You don't...if I could just... I can leave the top on. Do you really need to unbutton...yes sir. Of course sir."

My slacks descended my seated legs as I saw the last blouse button become undone. The bare belly before me squirmed and danced, seemingly in sync with my pants lowering to my ankles.

"Much better. Now, let's take care of this eyesore."

"It unclasps in the front sir."

"Marvelous."

Marvelous indeed. The Slender Man standing behind Jackie dropped a lacy bra to the floor before returning his talented hand above the camera's field of view. I say talented because of the melodic moans coming through my headset's audio. It seemed he was helping himself to my ex's sensitive breasts and she was responding in kind. She fought to keep her hands still at her sides, winning that battle but losing the war against groaning like a whore.

I may have been confused, but my cock wasn't. It took some effort, but I managed to extract my stiff staff through the convenient folded fly of my boxer shorts.

My masturbation material multiplied when my monitor was magically filled with the finest funbags I had last felt those few years ago. They took up the screen as my boss was roughly pushed forward, barely catching herself on the desk's surface. I heard supplies and pamphlets spill to the ground amidst the whorish moans and grunts echoing off of her office walls.

Behind the bare bobbing breasts could be seen, albeit barely, the bitch's skirt being brought up and bunched above her bent backside.

"No dress code infractions back here at least. Good, good. I'll mark that in your personal record."

I couldn't see too much at this point since Karen's bun of hair now blocked the camera. Her head hung low while Mr. Holt continued his inspection. Her managerial assailant wasn't having that though. He wrenched her hair harshly, forcing her to gaze right into the recording device. Right at me (okay, so maybe not at me, but it sure felt that way).

"Don't you have an orientation to complete?" he inquired while continuing whatever it is he was doing to the bent presenter.

"Yes? Oh, yes...umm...personal pictures at your desk will not be tolerated. It's a desk, not a scrapbook. Similarly, food should only be in the break rooaAAAooogh!"

I recognized that guttural howl; Karen's tight little cunt was getting crammed full of cock! The old man was giving it to her, right there on camera!

"Break...break-room...ugh! Keep food mmm, in the break-room. Full, so full. I mean the fridge. Ooooh...take home your food...don't let the fridge get full. Take it....take it...ungh."

If the broken speech wasn't distracting enough, the glazed eyes and bobbing breasts sure were. Jackie doesn't exactly have the thickest of asses, so there wasn't much buffering her boss's hips from hers, and boy was he laying into her now. That corporate cunt was taking a pounding and her whole body was rippling in response.

Jackie gave up all pretense of focusing on the meeting now. Her mouth hung open and her eyebrows took on that sloped, almost worried or frantic look. Ah shit, what's that called? Tented? Not furrowed, but the opposite. Is there a word for that? Fucked. Her eyes looked like she was getting fucked and she wasn't sure she could take it. All she could do was stare into the camera mounted on her monitor and beg wordlessly. Beg me for a taste of my divine dick. That's how I chose to perceive it anyway.

I stood and gave my ex what she wanted.

Pointing my pecker right at my own company-issued web cam, I stroked my stiffness along with the moaning whore inhabiting my monitor. It felt amazing, like I was a participant in some sort of social-media spit-roast. I held my arm still and began thrusting, humping my hand to the rhythm of the slack-jawed mouth bucking before me.

The percussion of hips picked up, joined by a trumpet of furniture groaning and chorus of mouths moaning.

Jackie seemed like she would be the first to orgasm her way through our orientation. She waived her hand in front of the camera like she was frantically trying to hail a cab. Her wedding ring was front and center as one coworker pummeled her pussy to the voyeuristic delight of at least 7 others. That same hand slammed down on what must have been her keyboard or mouse because, at that moment, multiple faces dotted my monitor.

The cameras had been enabled.

I was literally caught with my pants down.

The fucked frigid bitch's eyes went wider than I had ever seen them. Time stood still, save for one person. I froze, Jackie froze, everyone seemed to gasp or gulp or grin in unison. But not Mr. Holt. That deviant director released his grip on Jackie's hair, steadied her hips, and ramped up his already frantic fucking pace.

"Aaaaagghhhoooooghhh!!!" Jackie wailed. The damn broke and she unleashed an absolutely bestial battle cry that shook me from my stunned stupor. There, in front of new hires and boss alike, my ex came as though a divine dick had exercised and expelled her dirty demons. Her barely clothed upper torso slumped to the desk.

*fump*fump*fump*

That old dirty bastard continued using Jackie for the only thing she was ever good for.

Fuck it. I was going to be fired anyway, and everyone already saw what I was packing, so my jacking resumed. I don't know if you'll ever get the chance to masturbate on camera to a group of strangers, but it's strangely liberating.

*fump*fump*fump*

Mr. Madison. Mr. Holt. We were in an unspoken competition now, each trying to maintain our pace without being the first to finish. I gripped my dick harder, wishing to stave off the pleasurable tingle that was building in my balls at an alarming rate.

Fuck. Fuck it. Fuck. Again, I was out of cares at this point. Let the old man have his victory, I was ready to cum. Jackie's face was still buried slightly below the monitors view, but her slim torso and the outline of her ass were sufficient wank material to get me over the edge.

I debated on giving the stream a real show of my sticky stream but the thought of having to clean my desk and keyboard afterwards persuaded me not to. I frantically grabbed a handful of Kleenex from the box beside me (not exactly my first wank at the computer), aimed, and let the pleasure overtake me.

It felt like my balls were brewing Diet Coke and my shaft was a giant pack of Mentos. I came. I erupted. I screamed. I cursed. I gasped. I may have momentarily passed out. I cursed some more.

The tissues were no match for my online outburst and it looked like I would be cleaning my desk anyway. I dropped the wet wad onto the messy surface with a *plop* and slumped to my chair, exhausted yet strangely exhilarated.

*fump!*fump!*fump!*fump!*

It looked like Mr. Holt finally hit the wall. I watched him none-too-gently rouse the exhausted Jackie from her desk rest and plop her down into her chair.

Parting Jackie's unbuttoned blouse further he then said, "since you want to cover these up so badly," as he positioned his prick over her chest.

Where my load was an abstract Jackson Pollock, this guy's flow was J Scott Campbell. Thin streams arced out and traced the tops of my trainer's tits. One, two, three sticky strings, ah ah ah! It's best if you read that last part as The Count from Sesame Street.

Mr. Holt tucked himself back in and zipped up his fly. Pointing towards the computer he asked the glazed and dazed trainer, "Who's that in the top row? The half-naked gentleman."

Shit.

Smirking, my ex replied, "That's Mark. Mark Madison."

Shit.

"Mark, when your orientation is over, send me a meeting request. I want to discuss your future here."

Shit.

"I really like your initiative," Mr. Holt said to me before looking down at his stunned cum dump. "Make sure you train him properly Mrs. Tartuffle, he's management material. And who's that woman in the bottom left of your screen?"

"Um, that's Rebecca, my personal recruit I spoke to you about."

"Great. Rebecca, are you in the office today?" After hearing an affirmative response from Jackie's cohort (who I had previously grown to hate almost as much as the ice queen herself) he continued, "Excellent. I want you under my desk during my meeting with Mr. Madison. There are some team-building techniques I want to go over with you personally. Welcome to the company everyone, I look forward to working with you."

A door was heard opening and closing, signaling Mr. Holt's exit. Nobody dared say a word and I was still recovering from the absurdity of the last 20 or 30 minutes. An open-shirted Jackie finally returned to the computer desk, red-faced and jizz-laced.

"Right. So...vacation days must be requested a minimum of 3 days in advance. Anything less will be considered an unexcused absence. Is there something funny Mark?"

There is. There really is.