The Palace was unusually still, early morning traffic droned past but little disturbed the tranquility of the Royal household.
Adelaide dreamily surveyed her bulging belly, weighing up the pros and cons of a caesarean or natural birth, scar as against a stretched cunt and elephant wings below, then the door knob turned and she heard her bedroom door opening. Her father in Law, The King, entered.
"Adelaide, are you awake?" he asked.
"I am now." she replied.
"It's Big Ears, he has a footman in his bloody room."
"So?" she raised an eyebrow. Shiny metal dangled from his bony hand.
"I have the key, shall we?" he grinned,
"Let me put something on first." she replied
"Not too much, you look divine."
She smiled, she knew she looked like a Hippopotamus but it was nice to hear.
She pulled her bathrobe over her nightdress and followed the King down the corridor, his dressing gown was like something Sherlock Holmes might wear. Sherlock and the Hippo she thought.
"Listen, are they at it?" asked the King.
She heard a faint creaking,
"Yes."
A maid approached with a breakfast tray.
The King continued ,"Ah here is the Breakfast, now take the whistle and blow it when I give the signal."
The King carefully inserted a key in the lock and threw the double doors wide open. A bare pink backside bobbed up and down as its owner knelt between His Highness's knees intent upon the act of buggery.
His Highness looked round in startled surprise as under butler Perkins diligently continued to shaft his anus.
Adelaide blew the whistle.
"Half time change ends," the King shouted.
Perkins withdrew his shit streaked member and the maid with the breakfast tray dropped it in horror
"Don't you gay boys change ends at half time then?"
"Bugger off Father."
"Don't you tell me to bugger off, you little prick; so why this charade?, where is that horse faced tart you usually ride."
"She has flu." His Highess admitted.
"Clap more like, and that bloody servant gets about with some very odd people, anyway, you will be quarantined from when Adelaide gives birth, regular blood tests and your bed partners will be carefully vetted, do I make myself clear."
"So you can go on shagging your carriage event partner, someone half your age, and I have to do as you say?" His Highness whined.
"Dead right boy, got it in one." The King agreed.
The King turned to the servant. "Bugger off Perkins. it is Perkins isn't it, you runty little oiks all look the same to me, no need to put your trousers on, give the girls a laugh, now bugger off."
Perkins shuffled away, his prick drooping and come dripping down on his stumpy hairy legs.
His Highness was outraged "It's none of your fucking business who I shag."
The King turned on him "Yes it bloody is, you moron, I can shag who I want, although Alice is playing hard to get, I am a widower, whereas you are, at least as far as the press are concerned, a happily married man expecting his first child, so decorum please, and I shall take breakfast with your charming wife, In her bloody bed If I decide to because; and don't forget this; I am the Bloody King."
He swept from the room, Adelaide followed demurely.
"Did you mean that, breakfast in bed?" she asked.
"Be a bit of fun, but no, lets go downstairs and think up some new ways to make his life a misery."
They went to the private dining room, selecting their own cereals and juices from the selection available then sat at the large dining table.
An aide appeared, fifty-ish, frumpy in a dark blue suit with white blouse.
"Excuse me Your Majesty"
"Yes, what."
"That TV journalist is coming in ten minutes."
"What the blonde with perky tits?" The King queried.
"Yes sir, she wishes to ask about the rumours about you and Alice."
"Ah the nosey blonde cow with perky tits." he nodded.
"I think she looks rather nice, or is it the TV make up people?" asked Adelaide.
"Send her to my sitting room, you come too Adelaide we will have some fun." The King ordered.
They walked back to his suite of rooms, the sitting room overlooked the gardens.
"I want to take that bitch down a peg or two."
"You just want to take her you randy old sod." Adelaide countered.
"Perhaps, will you help? the old Alzheimer's routine." the King enquired.
"Of course, I take it Alice has a closed leg policy then?"
"Selfish bitch, bloody good in the carriage though."
They sat chatting until they heard people approaching, the King jumped up surprisingly quickly for an eighty year old and rushed to the corner.
A knock "Come in." trilled Adelaide sweetly.
The Aide ushered the newsreader in, smaller scruffier altogether less than her on screen persona.
"May I introduce," the Aide announced only to be cut short by the King,
"Christ I have some marbles left you know, I do know who she is so bugger off and polish the Daimler."
The King moved from the corner his Pyjamas in disarray, his manhood visibly swinging.
"Oh dear, father have you pissed in the corner again,? he has Altzheimers you know."
Carol the newsreader started writing furiously.
Adelaide continued, "Please humour him"
"So you're the new tart."
"Humour him."
"Ah I was sent." Carol started to say to interview you but was cut short.
"Good, good well strip then" the King ordered.
