I didn't know when I chose to live in the South dormitory at Texas A&M that it was the "party hall". I'm honestly not that type of guy; I'm a softspoken academic type from San Antonio.
While my roommate Jeremy is definitely my best friend here, he can be a real instigator, and the two of us are constantly getting in trouble for his stupid antics. That's why I was a little nervous to hear his troublemaking ideas after another guy in our hall whispered the April Fool's Day plan to us and instructed us to pass the message to other guys in our hall.
I had never heard of it before, but apparently April Fool's Day in South dormitory is always a prank war between the guys and girls, and no one is safe. Jeremy and I would have to pull our weight and perform an epic prank on some girls, or else the rest of the boys would surely haze us come April 2nd. I had never attempted a practical joke, so my mind was drawing a blank.
"We could tape their doors shut;" I suggested something harmless once Jeremy and I were back in the privacy of our own room.
"No dude that's lame," he retorted, "We're going to steal their panties!"
"WHAT!?" I jumped in surprise at the suggestion, "no way dude! We'd get in big trouble! That's harassment or something!"
"It's not a sexual thing," Jeremy argued, trying to calm me down and smooth-talk me into his mischief, "it's just a prank. Look, to prove it to you we don't even have to raid Sara's room; we can raid any girl's room of YOUR choosing." Sara was the heavily-endowed freshman on the first floor that Jeremy was definitely talking to, but wouldn't commit to.
I racked my brain for an easy way out. I was very interested in girls, but I had never had the courage to flirt with any, and definitely not to do anything as overtly sexual as stealing their panties.
"Well, the 208 girls usually leave their door unlocked," I said quietly, recalling a time when I overheard them getting reprimanded for it by the RA.
"Miguel my man!" Jeremy grinned and slapped me on the back enthusiastically, "there may be some hope for you yet!"
I rolled my eyes. I'm not sure whether he was referring to me always being a fun-sponge or a pathetic virgin, but it was proving hard to grow out of either.
"Ok so," Jeremy continued, "we'll sneak in 208 really early tomorrow morning after it turns to April 1st, that way when they wake up to get dressed they'll have no undergarments to wear!"
"Ok," I gave into the peer pressure nervously, "as long as we can verify that they are sleeping before we enter so that we don't get caught."
*
It was a Thursday right before midterms, so the hallways were unusually quiet at 3:30 in the morning. Jeremy had shaken me awake and the adrenaline coursed through my veins to wake me up as we turned on our phone flashlights and crept into the hall, down the stairs, and down another hall to room 208.
"Which girls even live here?" I whispered to Jeremy, having seen them only once before.
"I think they're a couple of Russian exchange students?" he whispered back, shrugging. He pushed on the unlocked door and opened it with a dramatic creek. The room was pitch black and we heard no sounds, so he led the way inside.
Jeremy and I ran to dressers on opposite sides of the room, taking care to keep our light beams away from the beds. I opened the top drawer quietly, but almost screamed a split second later as the lights to the room were switched on suddenly. I didn't have time to process that, because then a slippery gooey substance came pouring down on my head from above, soaking me in oil!
"Aaaaagh!" Jeremy and I panicked in unison, and I flailed my arms around and tried to wipe the oil out of my eyes.
Standing in front of the door with one hand on her hip and the other on the light switch, the first girl was already wearing the undergarments that we had intended to steal; a bright red bra and panty each complete with ribbon bows. She was slim and short with C-cup tits and curly blonde hair put up in a single braid.