As I pulled into the casino parking space, my heart was racing. It always did. I was an addict nearing her fix. My gambling habit had taken everything from me and saddled me with debts I'd never be able to repay, but I was still gambling's bitch.
The excitement of arriving always drowned out the fear and self-loathing that came with addiction. It did even now, when I was going to have sex with the manager again to get a stake so I could play. I'd already stooped to giving him a blowjob and letting him grope me, but he had said it would take more this time.
Checking my hair and makeup in the sunshade mirror, I grabbed my brush and gave my shoulder length, sandy hair a few strokes. I made sure my new "Pink Level" players card, indicating my "special arrangement" with the manager, was in the small clutch purse with my lipstick, some tissues, and a couple condoms. Stepping out, I felt the unfamiliar height of my open toed, red "fuck me" heels. I smoothed out my short, open back dress and headed for the entrance.
As I walked I was hyper-aware of my body. Knowing each step brought me closer to sex with a virtual stranger had an effect, even if I was disgusted by what I was doing. Besides, my gambling jones had always stirred me-the body chemistry of it or something. My boyfriend had loved that at first. He was long gone now. I had no love-life. I just had gambling-or it had me.
The clamor of the casino hit me as the doors opened with a sigh. The noise was designed to make people want to play, and it was doing its work on me. The casino floor was a jungle of colors and flashing lights. A huge space, I knew it too well.
My need to play was almost overwhelming. I wanted to rush to a table, but I had no money-yet.
Spotting the line for the concierge desk, I walked over and waited. Eventually I found myself standing before a young man, who greeted me warmly, giving my athletic body and made-up face a look and a smile that was more than good customer relations.
"Hi, how can I help you?"
"I need to see Paul, the manager," I said, fidgeting from the acute gambling itch and impending liaison with Paul. I knew I wasn't thinking clearly.
His smile went from welcoming to lewd as he now looked me over like a piece of meat.. "Oh, here to see Paul? Is he expecting you?" He raised an eyebrow and grinned knowingly.
I huffed. I was angry, embarrassed, and anxious to get it all over with so I could gamble. "No," I said coldly. I pulled the pink card out of my small purse and held it out to the concierge with an icy look. "Does this help?" I flashed a "fuck you" sneer.
"Ah, yes it does, Miss Franks," the young man said, eroticizing my name as if it described a sex act, reading it off the card. He handed it back with a little smirk. "I'll call security for you."
I could feel his glances as I waited. I knew what he was thinking. He was picturing what I'd be doing in a few minutes, but imagining himself in his manager's place. Through the haze of my cravings I was appalled to realize I was doing the same.
After just a few minutes the tall, muscular black man from security arrived, dressed in a nice black suit.
His
smile was polite and almost formal. My rattled mind inserted him into the lingering erotic images. I flushed, feeling a hot little tingle between my legs. I tried to shake off the visions and focus on my goal.
"Miss Franks, this way please."
I followed the handsome security man across the casino floor toward my illicit rendezvous. My guide punched in his keycode at the staff entrance and led me down a hall to the Manager's office. He knocked three times.
"Come in.".
The security guy opened the door and I brushed against him as I passed, feeling the bulk in his body. He stayed in the hall and shut the door behind me.
Paul was sitting at his large mahogany desk. As before, he was dressed in a very nice suit, his thick build and paunch somewhat downplayed by the fine tailoring. A smile spread over the same pudgy dimpled face.
"Donna! Well! Good to see you! Wow! lookin' good! Turn around and let Pauly get a look."
"Hi Paul." I smiled weakly and turned slowly for his inspection. It was embarrassing, despite my kindled gambling jones and roused state. I was presenting myself for approval. I was no better than a whore.
"Very nice!" he settled back in his chair. hand clasped, he smiled, not unsympathetically.
"So, you came back for more."
"Yes," I swallowed, "I was hoping..." I couldn't say it..
Paul sat there for a moment, a thoughtful look on his face.
"Damn Donna, you look so good, but I'm not sure I can fuck you right now. I had another Pink Level girl in here just awhile ago and I have a lot of work to do. "He spread his hands in a "what-can-I-do" gesture, making an apologetic face.
I panicked. "No, Paul," my palms were sweating, my throat going dry. "I really
need
to play! Please? Or is there some way I can get an advance? If it's a bad time now I promise I'll come back after and make you very happy." My eyes pled. I was reeling-a junky having her fix snatched away.
"No advances, Donna-ever. I only pay up
after
you do what I want, in the amount I decide you've earned."
Any sign of sympathy was gone and the big man looked me firmly in the eye and raised a finger. "No one asked you come here today. I don't owe you anything. You never have to do anything you don't want here, but if you come for what I have,' he shook the finger slowly at me" I offer it on
my
terms. No advances. Never ask again."
"I'm sorry, Paul. I just really need this. Please,
please
, let me do it now," I begged him.
Paul sighed and and seemed to be considering, pursing his lips, fingers tapping on his desk, then I saw the smugness showing in his eyes. This was a game for him. He knew he had me good and was going to squeeze everything he could get out me or send me away to suffer. It was maddening, but I was hopelessly hooked.
"Well Donna, like I said, I had a girl in here just a little while ago. I just don't know if I can manage again so soon. And I have things to do," He gestured at his desk. "I do feel for you though."
He paused. "Hmmm, I guess, if you asked me if you could stay, to maybe, try to get my cock hard, I might consider it." He looked straight at me and waited.
The bastard. I was trapped. He knew I needed to gamble once I was here. He knew I'd wheedle and beg and let him do what he wanted with me to get what I needed, and yet he had to make it a game. I knew I'd hate both him and myself for it, but right now I had one desperate purpose-do whatever I had to do to make Paul cum, so I could get those tickets and feed my addiction. So I'd beg for his cock-and I'd mean it.
My eyes pleaded with him.
"Yes?"
"Please Paul," I said quietly "Can I stay and try to make your cock hard?
"Hmmm. that doesn't sound right. Maybe you should call me Mr. Marino."