Until that day, Nathan didn't know that Luvton even had a police department. Unfortunately, he found out in the most humiliating and embarrassing way possible.
Nathan and Ashley had moved to this small town with a population of only about 250 because it was quiet and everyone seemed to mind their own business. It worked out perfectly for him since he worked from home as a day trader. The only thing he wasn't terribly pleased with was the fact that Ashley was an airline stewardess and would sometimes be gone a week or two at a time.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, however, and he'd found the upside was when his girlfriend was home they often made love like two desperate animals.
Nathan was twenty-nine, about to turn thirty, and prided himself on keeping his body in top physical condition. Ashley was pleased with the results and Nate didn't mind admiring himself in the mirror once in a while or indulging in some occasional solo relief.
That fateful afternoon, Nate was finishing up a run around the town. He wore as little as he could legally get away with: loose red shorts and running shoes and an mp3 player. Nobody, except the odd soccer-mom, gave him a second look though and he didn't mind. He looked good and knew it.
A few times a week, it was Nathan's habit to go into the garage after a run and climb onto the inversion table he'd set up there. It was good to stretch out his back and he'd gotten used to hanging upside down for as much as an hour as everything slowly relaxed and loosened. The fact it was close to the end of spring and quite warm in the garage helped calm his quivering muscles. After a session on the inversion table, he always felt like a new man.
Once in the house, he flipped his shoes and music player off, slid the shorts down his legs, and threw them in the hamper. Naked now, he went into the sauna-like garage, cellphone in hand. He might just call Ashley and see if she was on the ground somewhere. Even better if she was in a hotel room. If that were the case, Nate thought he might like to find out what totally inverted phone sex would be like.
Nate clamped on the inversion boots and stepped against the table then hooked the catches onto the support rod. He held the phone tightly in one hand so it wouldn't go flying across the garage as he flipped. The inversion table was perfectly balanced for his center of gravity and all he had to do was raise his arms to pivot the frame.
He knew something was wrong as he tipped the frame and heard a metallic ping! as he became suspended upside down. His hands were only inches above the concrete floor of the garage and he set the phone down so it was still within reach. Normally, all Nate would have to do to swing upright again was to put his arms by his sides and maybe pull his body up a little. This time, the frame didn't budge.
"Oh shit!" Nate gasped. He tried again, rocking his body side to side, back and forth. Something had failed in the pivot mechanism and seized and after fifteen minutes of struggling with sweat raining off his body, he couldn't budge the table at all.
It took another ten minutes of debate before he decided he was going to have to make the most embarrassing 9-1-1 call of his life. There was no alternative.
To her credit, the emergency operator was very professional when he explained that he was stuck upside down and naked in his garage on an inversion table. She'd probably heard it all, anyway, and assured him someone would be out right away.
He was glad the front door was still unlocked.
Nate had no idea how much time had passed before he heard the knock at the door.
"Luvton Police Department," came the voice. Nate felt a wave of embarrassment as he realized the voice was female.
"I'm--shit!--I'm in here!" he cried out. "In the garage."
The door opened, shut, and footsteps came through the house.
"Police Department. Sir, do you have an emergency?"
"Yes! In here. In the garage." Nate swallowed hard as he heard the knob turn on the door from the kitchen.
"Sir, are you okay? What seems to be the problem?"
In the inverted position, someone walking in on him would see nothing but the black webbing of the table and Nate's arms dangling near the floor.
"I'm stuck on this thing. If you could just tip it over I could get off."
Shiny black shoes and black pants legs appeared near his head. Nate looked up to see a hand resting on the butt of a 9-millimeter strapped around rounded hips. Farther up he saw what was either ample breasts or an illusion created by a bullet-proof vest. Looking down at him was a cute, slightly chubby face with dishwater-blonde tresses pulled back in a bun.
"Even in Mayberry, you never know what you're gonna find," the officer said. He figured her to be slightly older than he was, early thirties maybe.
Nate felt his already red face flush deeper. "Umm--haha. Yeah. Sorry about calling you out for something like this but I've tried and tried to flip upright for quite a while and finally had to call somebody. See, we're new here and I had no one else to call."
"What's your name, sir?"
"Nathan Walker, ma'am. If you'd just go around to the other side and pull the end over, I could get out of this."
"Yeah?" The officer's sapphire eyes crawled over his body, lingered on his exposed manhood, and crawled back down to his face. "I've seen you out jogging the streets not wearing much more than this. You probably don't remember seeing me. This town's got one squad car and I don't use it much because I don't like driving Fords. But yeah, I've seen you. Borderline indecent exposure is what I'd call it but I never minded watching you myself. Wasn't gonna say anything to you unless I got some complaints. Which I haven't."
"Well officer, I'll put on a bit more next time. Now if you'll just help me here--"
The officer squatted. Nathan read her nametag. A. Bateman.
"I don't know. I might have to see how this thing's built." She smiled. "I mean this is an odd situation and I'm not sure how to deal with it."
"It's very simple, Officer Bateman. Just pull down the other end over and--"
"I didn't mean I'd have to check out the contraption you're on, Mr. Walker," Bateman said and smiled in a way Nate didn't like.
He didn't even see her get the cuffs out and snap one side on his wrist. Before he could jerk his arm Bateman locked the other end on the tubular frame beside him.
"Hey!" Nate cried and flailed at his cuffed wrist with his free hand.
"Grip the other side of the frame!" Bateman ordered. Nate saw her hand draw out the pepper spray and aim it at his face. "I will spray you if you do not comply!"
"What the fuck?" Nate spat.
"Now, Mr. Walker!" The can of OC looked huge as the officer's finger rested on the trigger. Upside down with a face full of pepper spray was something he did not want and did as he was told. Another pair of cuffs went on his other wrist just as quickly as the first and the pepper spray disappeared back into Bateman's belt.
"What is going on? Would you please just let me up and you can arrest me on whatever kind of law I've violated."
Bateman stood and again her eyes roamed over his naked, glistening body. "What is going on is that I've seen you flaunting yourself all over our little town. I wondered just what was in those shorts and now's my chance to find out."
"Oh, my god," Nate sighed.
"So now it's just you and me in a one-cop town and I'm the cop. I know you won't say anything because let's face it, you're new in town and I've been here all my life. And, as I said, I'm a cop."
Nate felt a hand on the inside of his knee then felt it trail up his leg. "Stop it, dammit! I've got a girlfriend!"
