I hated standardized tests. But in order to get in grad school I had to pass the exam I walked into that spring afternoon. And in order to pull my life out of the sad, hung over, place it had been hanging around, I had to get into graduate school. And this was step one.
Taking a standardized test is anything but glamorous. Walking into the tiny room filled with computers in tiny cubicles, wearing jeans and an old sweatshirt, I felt anything but sexy. But the proctor? He was sexy as hell. Well, my definition of sexy at least. Probably 6'4, lean and muscled, and what sounded like a Northern Irish accent when he spoke. "My husband's from Northern Ireland," I offered while he checked me in. I got a wink in response, and blushed like a fifteen year old. Oh, and the lip stud. He was probably in his early thirties, dressed Seattle business casual (dark jeans, light blue dress shirt rolled up at the sleeves to show the definition in his forearms)...and out of place, a pointed lip stud on the right side of his perfectly shaped mouth. I thought I had stopped being attracted to facial piercings in high school. But apparently not.
After an excruciating 3 hours of answering dull question, I stretched my aching neck and back muscles, reaching my hands over my head. I signed out on the clipboard, as Mr. Hot Proctor told me I should have my results emailed to me by the next morning. Looking forward to a drink I turned around to leave when I heard the lilted accent say "You're not wearing a wedding ring?" My answer started to come out as "Uh, um, well..." and instead of finishing the thought I fled. I was not discussing my married life with this hot stranger. The Irish community in Seattle was small as it is, chances were my husband had met him anyhow.
Truth was, my marriage had been miserable for years. We slept in separate bedrooms, rarely spoke (and when we did, we bickered over nothing), and had sex only a few times a year. He'd never been able to make me come, not that he ever really tried, and though I still enjoyed the act itself, it was hard to feel sexually attracted to someone I didn't really like anymore.
Moping over being a 27 year old in an already dead marriage, wondering if I'd passed the stupid exam, I never heard anyone walking behind me in the parking lot. I had started late, so everything was dark, but Seattle was anything but dangerous so I thought nothing of wandering around by myself at night.
When I had almost reached my old and battered SUV I felt someone painfully grab my left elbow. Instinctively I knew something was off, and automatically turned around and punched whoever was behind me. As hard as I could. In the face. When I heard the familiar Irish "for fuck's sake" I froze, mortified. Mr. Sexy Proctor had probably just been trying to ask me something and I punched him. And his nose was bleeding. Oops.
I remember is hearing him say "well, fair's fair," followed by a sickening crack, the taste of blood pooling in my mouth, and searing pain spreading through one side of my face. Then nothing.
I woke up being carried over his shoulder into a house that looked far outside of the city. Like, it smelled like trees and a river far out of the city. Noticing I was awake, he (I still had no idea what his name was), gently slid me off his shoulder and onto my feet. As my face passed his, his lip stud gently scraped against my check and he whispered in my ear. "Congratulations on passing your test."
I promptly vomited.
At this point we both had blooded faces, and now vomit soaked clothes. "You're fucking ridiculous" he muttered, grabbing my dirty blonde hair and dragging me through the house and into a small, but beautifully decorated bathroom. I lost it. "I'm ridiculous? I'M RIDICULOUS?!?! I have no idea who you are, you just knocked me out, and apparently kidnapped me, and I'm RIDICULOUS?" I opened my mouth to continue screaming and promptly received a slap on both cheeks.
Stunned, I started back at his emotionless face. "You hit me first. I wanted you. My name is David, but I wouldn't recommend calling me anything but Sir." I opened my mouth to argue when he continued. "I expect you to behave. I expect you to do what you're told without being a brat. Now take your dirty clothes off and step into the shower."
This may be a good time to mention how uncomfortable I am in my own skin. Sure, my C cup breasts are nice, I've always liked my eraser pink nipples, thought I had good legs, and pretty sapphire eyes...but my ass was flatter than I would have liked, and my stomach was not taut. My round belly had always been a source of self-hate.
"Jesus, modest Americans. And I thought the Irish were bad." He reached forward to unzip my sweatshirt and I reacted by attempting to claw out his eyes. What can I say, it was a stressful situation.