Last month I reported to my new job. I was hired by a local public access channel to be a handyman, grip and all round helper, including production assistance. I wasn't well qualified, but this was a small time operation in our mid-sized town.
The crew consisted of Buddy, the cameraman, and the station manger, Penny. There was a secretary and a radio station guy who nursed the sound boards. We mostly just piped through purchased programs, but we had a couple of local shows.
The heart of our own programs was an interview program featuring local guests. Sometimes the guest was an artist, or a gardener or a business person. Usually only a couple of staffers were present for the taping sessions.
On day one, Penny showed me around. In addition to my technical duties, I was also talent wrangler and would help guests get ready by applying a little makeup and warning them about attire. Some colors and stripes make the video image go crazy.
Then Penny sat me down for a rather special orientation about the female guests.
Number one: If the woman wears a skirt, I need to be super careful not to broadcast immodest shots of her legs. If she sits in a way that reveals too much, I'm supposed to alert the cameraman to tighten the shot to just catch her from the waist up.
Penny showed me a few bloopers that got them in trouble. Like the time the mayoral debates were telecast between male and female candidates, and as the female was making her points with all sincerity, the audience was being treated to a peek at her floral printed panties.
Frankly, that may have gotten her more votes.
Number two: Nipple points. Penny herself is a well endowed matronly woman. She has bazooka boobs that must be held up by a great deal of support garments. Her figure is no longer sleek, but those huge boobs still draw attention.
She looked me right in the eye, "Bill, it is part of your job to make a quick study of a woman's chest to see if there are any 'appearance' problems. Frankly, too many women today walk around with their breasts and nipples a little too visible."
As Penny told me this, my eyes dropped from her face down to her tits. I couldn't help myself. I tried to keep looking at her face, but my eyes kept going down to her impressive rack.
She noticed this and just stared back at me, waiting for me to get my eye full. I snapped out of it, "Oh, sorry."
"What am I supposed to do about that sort of problem?" I asked.
As I asked my question, I noticed that Penny's nipple points were starting to show. I guessed that our discussion was taking a toll on this married woman "of a certain age."
She actually blushed and said to me, "Christ, I'm showing, aren't I?" "It's just as well. Now I can show you one way to solve a problem like this." She grabbed a few tissues, folded them and put them inside her blouse and bra.
"There, is that better?"
I stared directly at her tits. "Problem solved," I answered.
"Sorry about that," Penny told me. "We also keep foam cups for this purpose. They're in that drawer over there. Bring them over here."
I did as she told me, "Here, you mean these?"
"Yes, that's them." She reached back into her bra and removed the tissues then replaced them with the pads. "How's that?" she asked me.
The pads made her already big boobs look even bigger. "Just fine," I told her.
Penny went on, "If a guest has this problem, tell her directly. She may be a little embarrassed, but just do it in a businesslike way and she'll take it in that same way."
"OK, that shouldn't be too hard to do," I said, "But tell me, do you put the pads or tissues directly over your nipples? Or do you sort of put them to the side or underneath?"
What an asshole I was being – I knew damn well where they went but I wanted Penny to tell me more.
Penny leaned over so I could see down her blouse pretty far. Her bra was one of those big contraptions that must have had a wide support strap in back. "Watch," she said. Then she reached in and removed the pads, first on one side and then on the other.
As she handled herself she told me exactly how they were positioned. "Did that show you what you wanted to know?" Penny asked me.
"Yes, I think I've got the idea." I replied. It was hard to tell what Penny was thinking about this, but I guessed that she was getting her jollies by feeling her own tits while I was watching her.
Back to rule number one.
"You said to not let women show their panties on camera?" I asked.
"That's right," she said.
"Won't Buddy be aware of what he's filming?" "Why do I need to warn him?"
"Buddy's been here a long time. He's good at what he does, and there's no way I can fire him if he screws up. But I've caught him peeking at the guests when their dresses are too short. I don't trust him."
"OK," I said, "You can count on me. Are there limits I should watch for? For instance, if a woman crosses her legs and her skirt rises up her leg. Should we cut away from that shot, too?"
"Use your judgment," Penny said, "Obviously don't let any of her underthings show."
"Or, what if she uncrosses her legs and in the process she happens to let them fall apart too much?"
Penny kept a businesslike demeanor as she told me, "I try to position the guest so she won't have that problem, but sometimes they wiggle and squirm and forget where the camera is. That's when I need your help."
"I'll do my best," I volunteered. "But as an example, the way you're sitting now with your legs crossed, I can see a bit of your white slip. Would that be a problem on camera?"
"Oh yes, no undergarments should show at all." As she answered me, she tugged at her skirt to cover herself.
I asked, "Women are built so differently. Some have thicker legs and even if they sat with their legs uncrossed nothing would show. Others with slim legs might be a problem."
Penny agreed then asked, "And your point is?"
"For instance, you could sit without crossing your legs, and I don't think your panties would show."
Penny looked sober. I think my reference to her panties made her uncomfortable.
"Penny," I asked, "help me with this for a minute. Just sit there with your legs uncrossed."
She remained still while I got up and walked around the studio, panning with my hands like a camera to check her from different angles. "The way you're sitting looks fine," I told her.
Then I added, "Just to give me a frame of reference, let your legs open a tiny bit and then I'll check again."
She looked a little bothered but she played along with me. Did she think I was really doing this to improve my professional judgment? Had she bought in to my sillyness? Or did she know I was playing with her?
Her legs parted ever so slightly.
I walked around again. "Nothing. All clear." Her legs were not exactly shapely like they probably were when she was a young woman, but they were getting me excited. Her waist was still trimmer than her bust line, so she had a figure.
"Once more?" I encouraged.
Without uttering a word, and still poker faced, Penny let her legs open farther.
