Wet Witch of the West

Credit for this story concept goes to Leashed_Linguist. He is planning to write spin-offs to this story, if you are interested in further adventures with these characters.

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy!

...

Carol Moehn walked through the bright fall air, fingers idly playing with the silver charm bracelet on her wrist. It was a habit of hers whenever she was stressed or nervous. Meditating on her charms helped to center her and remind her of her special connection with the divine. The Ankh charm reminded her to be thankful for life, the Monad charm told her to always strive to better herself and succeed, and the Pentacle charm helped her to feel the unique connection she had with the spiritual powers of the world.

Today was a blessed day for Carol. It had been a struggle to find a place to live for the fall semester. Her previous roommate had finally gotten fed up with Carol's "freaky magic shit" late last spring and refused to room together this year. But Carol hadn't worried. Her life was firmly controlled by forces beyond human understanding. "The Divine" was what she called it. A strong, wise force tied into the very threads of the universe, and Carol knew she had a special connection to it. There was no way that Carol would be homeless in the fall. Something would come up. The Divine would see to it.

But Carol was ashamed to say that she had started to feel uneasy when it came down to just a few weeks before the fall semester and she still didn't have a living space lined up. Her parents were very supportive, but they didn't have the money to help Carol rent a solo apartment. For the most part, Carol was on her own for money in college. She depends on her scholarship to cover tuition and part-time jobs to make ends meet. So she needed a roommate, but there didn't seem to be anyone else looking who was in her price range.

She should have trusted the divine from the beginning. Just as she was beginning to lose hope, Carol received an email from the University asking for volunteers. The school needed RAs for a new program: each frat and sorority house would be hosting a university representative this year to oversee the Greek system. It was the answer to Carol's prayers. True, she didn't have much respect for frat boys and sorority girls: they were a little beneath someone as spiritually and intellectually advanced as Carol. But the program provided free housing as well as a small stipend for volunteers, which was exactly what Carol needed.

Unfortunately, Carol was running a little late to her meeting with the housing director, which was why she was nervous. She had finally reached the old brick administration building and hurried up the steps. Hopefully, they wouldn't have given this amazing position away to someone else just because she was a couple of minutes late...

...

Barney Haskell rubbed a hand across his temple, fighting a migraine. If this guy didn't show up for his meeting, they would never find someone else willing to take this horrible RA position.

The whole program had been a mess from the start. Poorly planned out, poorly funded, and deeply unpopular. The only reason the chancellor had suggested the program in the first place was the bad press that the antics of the frats had generated last year.

The position was a hard sell to potential RAs. Who would want to go live with a group of rowdy men who actively resented your presence? Tracking down enough people who were willing to give it a try had been a nightmare.

But Barney had somehow done it. He had been forced to beg, threaten, and bribe, but he had filled every single position. That was, if this last RA showed up to his meeting.

Barney was shaken out of his funk by the rap of knuckles on his open office door.

A petite young woman stood in the doorway, looking at him with an eager smile. At first glance, she seemed frumpy, even unattractive. Her long brunette hair was frizzy and pulled carelessly into a loose ponytail. She wore an oversized hoodie and baggy cargo pants, neither of which were very flattering on her. But a second look revealed that her sloppy outer appearance was covering up a natural beauty that peeked through. She had delicate facial features, pale, flawless skin, and feminine curves that her baggy clothes couldn't quite hide. THe young woman's icy blue eyes peered at Barney with cool intelligence behind her large, red-rimmed glasses. "Mr. Haskell?" she asked in a high, musical voice, "They told me that I should speak with you."

Barney glanced at the clock. Almost closing time. He hoped that this wasn't a major housing issue. He was looking forward to heading home and eating a home-cooked meal. "That's me, darling," he said with a weary smile, "Can I help you with something?"

Barney saw the young woman's eyes narrow slightly as he called her 'darling'. Oops. Based on her appearance, Barney had read her as a timid girl who needed to be babied and reassured. It looked like he had misstepped. "Well," said the woman in a frosty voice, "I certainly hope you can help me Mr. Haskell. I'm here at your request for a meeting, after all."

Barney frowned. That couldn't be right. He only had one meeting left today and it was with... His head pulsed with pain as a dark suspicion formed in his mind. "What was your name, Miss?" he asked, hoping that he was incorrect.

"Carol. Carol Moehn," she said, pulling out the guest chair and taking a seat across from him.

God fucking damn it.

Barney flipped open the folder in front of him and stared at the paperwork. It read "Carl Moehn" across the top. He didn't know how, but he was going to find the person who made this typo and strangle them. With a feeling of defeat, Barney flipped the folder closed and put his head in his hands.

"Well, Miss Moehn, I'm afraid that you won't be able to take this particular position after all. I apologize for wasting your time," he said heavily.

Carol's attitude of annoyance fell away, replaced by concern. "What? But why? Because I was a few minutes late?" she asked in a stricken voice.

Barney leaned back in his chair, running his hands through his hair as he thought. Now he would have to scramble to find a last-minute replacement. And he had long since called in all the favors he had. "No, nothing like that," he said. "There was some sort of miscommunication, Carol. This is a position in a frat house. It was supposed to be only for male applicants. I'm not sure how the fact that you're female was overlooked, but I can only apologize."

Carol's frown shifted instantly into an expression of relieved confidence. "Oh. Is that it? Well, that's not a problem. I don't mind if the position is in a frat house. I'll take the job anyway."

Barney stared at the confident young woman across from him in disbelief. There must be some sort of misunderstanding here. "The position would entail living with these frat boys," he said flatly, his eyes watching to see if his words were getting through to Carol. "Sleeping in the frat house. Spending much of your time in their company."

"Obviously," said Carol, becoming confused in turn by Barney's confusion. "I mean, that's what it said in the job description."

Maybe this girl just had a very sheltered upbringing. Barney searched for a delicate way to explain the problem. "Carol, fraternity brothers have a reputation for, at times, pursuing women aggressively. I wouldn't go so far as to say you would be unsafe... but I imagine that their persistence might be difficult to handle." That was putting it mildly, but hopefully, it would help her get the picture.

Understanding finally dawned on Carol's face. "Ohhhhh, you're worried that I'll start having sex with one of the frat boys."

"Yes, that is the concern," said Barney, relieved that he hadn't needed to spell things out more clearly.

"That won't be an issue," said Carol with smug certainty.

Barney felt his oncoming migraine pulse again. This girl was starting to get on his nerves. It was already frustrating that he would have to fill this position again, and now it seemed like this Carol girl was being deliberately obtuse. "No girl thinks that sexual tension will be an issue beforehand," he explained patiently. "Then they meet a hunky boy, and all bets are off. I'm sorry, but it's better to avoid the issue entirely by hiring a guy."

"No, I assure you, Mr. Haskell," said Carol firmly, "There is absolutely zero chance that I will want to have sex with anyone, let alone a braindead frat boy."

Barney was about to argue with her, but was stopped by the look of rock-solid certainty in Carol's eyes. "Not with anyone. Oh. So, um, you're..." he stuttered foolishly.

"I'm going to stop you before you ask me an inappropriate question, Mr. Haskell," said Carol firmly. "My sexual preferences are really none of your business. All you need to know is that no frat boy will ever be able to seduce me. Better men and women have tried. If that is the only objection, then it's unimportant. Just tell me where I need to sign."

Barney considered carefully. There were other objections of course. The image of propriety was almost as important as whether any sex would actually happen, for one. But Carol seemed like she really wanted the job. And the position would be difficult to fill if Barney refused her. Maybe most importantly, Carol was annoying him, and it was tempting to let her discover for herself what a bad idea it was for a petite, attractive young woman to live in a frat house.

Barney glanced back up at the clock. It was past quitting time. Fuck it. Barney was pretty sure that this entire ill-conceived program would be canceled in a few weeks anyway. What was the worst that could happen in that time? If Carol wanted the position that bad, he would let her have it.

He flipped the folder back open decisively, grabbing a pen.

"Well, if you're sure... sign here and here, Miss Moehn, I'll get you all the information you need about your home for the semester."

His migraine was already feeling better.

...

"A Legend dude!" crowed Scooter for the twentieth time that afternoon. "A fucking legend!" He slammed the car door with his hip, helping Tory carry another box of clothes up the walk to the frat house. Some of the other brothers were hanging out on the front steps, already cracking open their first beers of the school year in the warm fall air.

Tory dumped the box he was carrying on the porch and held a hand up. Ryan grinned and tossed him a can, cool and slick with condensation. "Did you guys hear what Tory the fucking stallion did this time?" asked Scooter, a huge dopey grin on his face. This drew knowing chuckles from the small crowd. Ryan raised his eyebrows with an impressed look on his face. "You're fucking kidding me," he said, a smile pulling up the corners of his mouth. "Kelsey Forrest? The fucking Ice Queen herself? I thought for sure that she was going to be the one that stumped you."

Tory shrugged modestly with a sheepish smile. "Well, what can I say? I haven't met a woman that can resist me yet."

It had become a bit of a game between Tory Sonberg and his frat brothers. The boys would suggest a woman who was disinterested, out of their league, or simply unavailable, and Tory would smash their expectations every time by seducing her. He had slept with a professor, a rival frat president's mom, and even a semi-famous figure skater visiting the university for a show. Even Tory himself wasn't sure why he affected women the way that he did. Maybe it was a combination of strength and apparent vulnerability in his boyish features.

"I heard that she doesn't even talk to men besides her fiance," said Bailey from the other end of the porch. "I don't think we'll be able to find a challenge tougher than Kelsey. We might have to retire your dick and raise it into the rafters."

"Oh man, I bet she came so fucking hard dude," speculated Scooter with a dreamy look on his face, "She must be so fucking horny from repressing her urges all the time." His bright curious eyes turned to Tory. "What are her tits like, man? Kelsey looks like she has great fucking tits."

Tory grimaced into his beer. "Shut the fuck up man," he said awkwardly, feeling a bit disgusted with himself and the whole situation. "Don't say shit like that."

In reality, it had been depressingly easy to sleep with Kelsey. The combination of her position as a sorority president, her long-distance relationship, and her reputation as an icy bitch made her feel pretty isolated, Tory had discovered when talking to her. Kelsey was a good person, and Tory didn't feel great about the demeaning way his brothers were talking about her.

But once he had been dared to try, Tory had no choice but to go through with seducing her. Tory had always been a little fixated on how other guys saw him. There was no getting around it: Tory Solberg was short. He told people he was 5'9', but it said 5'7' in his medical records. Some guys didn't care about height, but seeing other guys looming over him and talking down to him made Tory feel small. He hated being seen like that: it made him feel like he had to prove his masculinity to stand equal to other men. This stupid seduction game had become the main way that he proved his power and masculinity to the rest of the frat.

And it had worked better than he had ever hoped.

"To Tory the motherfucking stallion," said Scooter with a grin, holding up a beer, "Our new frat president!" The small knot of boys let out a ragged cheer and chugged.

Sometimes the seduction game felt too cold-hearted, but it had paved Tory's way to acceptance and victory. Everyone in the frat now accepted him as a man among men and a worthy choice for president.

Well, almost everybody.

Adam Ivanic strolled out the front door of the frat with his usual look of cool disdain on his face. His dark hair was swept back from his head in a style that was meant to look effortless, but Tory knew for a fact took him an hour to style every day. "Looks like the party's started without me," he said with a sardonic grin, plucking a beer from the cooler and leaning his tall, powerful body back against the wall of the porch. The other brothers greeted Adam warmly and slapped him on the back, making small talk about what everybody had done over the summer. Tory walked up and joined Adam in leaning against the wall.

"Well look who it is," said Adam with a wink. "The littlest president."

Tory bit back a retort. He and Adam had a long and tense history. Nowadays they got along just fine... on the surface. But Tory had a hard time forgetting Adam's constant jokes about his height back when they were both freshmen.

Tory also knew that Adam had campaigned hard to be elected frat president himself. Although they were supposedly good friends, Tory couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction over how badly he had trounced Adam in the election. Adam took a sip of his beer and inclined his head in a small bow to Tory. "I heard the news about you and Kelsey. Very impressive."

"You know how it is," said Tory lightly, "Getting women to sleep with me isn't even a challenge anymore. I guess height isn't everything, is it, beanpole?"

Adam shrugged. "I do alright," he said simply. From what Tory heard, that was an understatement. If Tory hadn't been in a league of his own, Adam would probably have the reputation as the lady's man in the frat. Word was that he had a new one-night-stand every other night.

Tory looked up as a conversation turned heated further down the porch. "It's bullshit," said Ryan, sitting back on the step with a belligerent look on his face. "I don't know what the chancellor is smoking, but if he thinks that the frats will take this lying down, he's in for a surprise." Ryan was usually one of the most even-tempered and soft-spoken of the brothers. There was only one topic that could set him off like this. The same thing that had been pissing off all the frat brothers since it had been announced at the end of last year.

Now was the time to show why they had elected Tory. This was a frat issue, and so it was Tory's to deal with. "It's not going to stand," he said decisively, trying to sound like a leader. "I've talked it over with the other presidents. It won't take long for the administration to realize how dumb the program is, and then they'll scrap the whole thing."

Scooter shook his head, his normal goofy cheerfulness souring. "But some random dude living in the house, trying to tell us what we can and can't do? Narking on us to the Chancellor? It fucking sucks man."

Tory felt the expectations of the brothers around him. Even if it was unfair, they were looking to him for a solution. Adam's cool green eyes regarded him with amusement, silently daring Tory to show what he was made of. "Well," said Tory, his mind spinning, "I guess we will just have to show our guest exactly how welcome he is. Maybe a few harmless pranks will help him understand how we feel."

The boys chuckled, and the goofy grin returned to Scooter's face. "Hell. Yes. That's why you're the leader bro!" he said enthusiastically. "I can't wait to cook up some pranks. Fucking Legend, man!" Even Adam seemed impressed at the suggestion. Tory would just have to make sure that the pranks he had just suggested didn't go too far. He was the one who would be held responsible, after all.

"Uh, Tory," said Ryan, gesturing toward the front lawn with his beer. "It looks like we've got a guest."

A girl Tory's age was standing on the front lawn, one hand on a hip, the other shading her eyes from the setting sun. She was staring at the frat house with an intense blue glare, and her lips seemed to be moving like she was speaking to herself under her breath. Tory's immediate first impression was that she was ugly. Her outfit and hair certainly weren't doing her any favors. But as he descended the steps and came closer, he saw that this girl was actually pretty hot, but didn't put much effort into her appearance. It was strange. Most women Tory knew who had this much raw beauty to work with tended to want to show it off.

"Can I help you?" he asked brusquely, approaching the girl boldly standing on the frat house lawn.

"Yeah," said the woman with a faint smile, who was about equal in height to Tory. "I'm looking for the frat president. Can you get him for me?"

"You found him," said Tory with a smile that never failed to melt icy demeanors in the women he spoke to. "Tory Sonberg, at your service," he said, holding out a hand to shake.

The young woman's eyes flicked down to his hand and then back up to Tory's face with a brief, carefully repressed look of disgust. "Carol Moehn," she said with a false smile. She didn't extend her hand. "Sorry, Terry. I don't touch strangers. Bad energy. You understand." Tory stared at her, bewildered. He certainly didn't understand. Energy? What was this weirdo talking about?

"I've got exciting news, Terry! I'm the new RA at your frat," continued the young woman with a self-satisfied grin. "I just know that we are all going to get along great."

Tory squinted at her for a silent moment. He realized she wasn't joking. Tory could feel the eyes and ears of the brothers on the porch just feet away focusing intently on the conversation. "What? They told us that they would send over a man to..."

Carol waved her hand vaguely as if clearing away unpleasant smoke. She was wearing some sort of charm bracelet that jingled with the motion. "That was the original plan, but they decided I was the right person for the job, woman or not," she explained confidently. "I can't wait to meet everybody and lay some ground rules on how things will work now that I'm overseeing the house. It's going to be a fun year! Now, I have to go pick up some personal items, but I'll be back in an hour or two. In the meantime, why don't you pick out a room for me? I'll need access to a private bathroom, and a room as high up in the house as possible in order to broadcast energy more effectively. Can you do that for me, sweetie?"