I'm shaken from my reverie again by the unmistakable sounds of animalistic fucking. Cindy's bent over the desk, I can see both pairs of legs in front of me. Page is plowing her from behind it looks like. I can tell his hand is shoved in her mouth because my oh my our little Cindy is a squealer! He's whispering in her ear, but I can't make out what he's saying. It seems to be igniting Cindy's nerves, though, because she moans and pants after everything he says. I can tell he's gonna come soon, the pace has picked up from luxurious to frantic. I hear it moments later, the muffled "Hhnggghhhh" of satisfaction as he fills Cindy up with come.
The rest of the time is a blur, I can't think anymore. A haze of lust has clouded my thoughts, every single ounce of my brain power now focused totally on being fucked in every hole. I didn't realize it but a low moaning sound has been coming from me, for God knows how long, as the images of all the things I want Page to do to me flood my slutty brain: him, fucking me like this, trussed up or hogtied, using a hitachi on my clit while he fucks my ass, me, laying across the bed, head hanging off the side, as he fucks my face like it's my pussy and uses a riding crop to slap my tits and clit relentlessly. I'm shaking all over when Page finally leans his face down to look at me. Cindy is apparently gone to clean up.
He smiles at me and I start crying.
+++
I don't really know why I'm crying. I don't have the presence of mind at the moment to examine any deep emotions or thoughts, all I know is that I'm totally overwhelmed. I have the distinct feeling that some imaginary line has been crossed. A line I drew in the sand between my former self and my "new and improved self". I'm right back to where I started - depraved slut. Begging for more, getting off on pain and humiliation. Except now I've upgraded from a frat house to a corporate office, with the added problem of having other people in my life who could be seriously hurt by my actions.
The worst part? I don't actually care. Mark is just a buffer, a nice guy I sunk my hooks into in order to give myself some semblance of normalcy. To project a perfectly crafted image that I had thought up, packaged with a pretty bow, and claimed as my own. But that image is certainly not me. Not now. Not here, a crumpled mess under my boss' desk, tied up and enjoying the humiliation of having to listen to and watch him fuck someone else. But now it's over, Cindy's gone, probably dick-drunk at her desk, unable to complete the simple tasks required of her for the rest of the day.
Page is in front of me, his cock still out and covered in her juices, and his own cum, and it's semi-hard and he's telling me to clean it off and I'm doing it, eagerly, little noises coming from the back of my throat that I didn't even realize I was making. I barely register the taste, not caring, just wanting to feel something. I suck his dick like I'm trying to suck a bowling ball through a straw, licking the balls too, lost in my utter depravity. I can feel his cock coming completely to life, filling my mouth, and it excites me even more. I want to feel it in the back of my throat, choking me. Punishing me. All too soon, he's hauling me off, telling me to get dressed for a meeting. I dress quickly, in a daze, feeling like I exist somewhere in that twilight between sleep and wakefulness, the only reminder of the here and now a dull ache between my thighs, reminding me that I'm alive and I need to come and I'm a fucking whore.
We get in Page's car, an expensive little two seater that I'm sure Mark would have a much greater appreciation of than I do. I almost laugh out loud at the thought of Mark in this moment, but bite my lip hard to keep it from escaping. Instead, I give a strange little sob. I feel like I might actually be going insane. We pull up to a health food store, which baffles me. But, in my daze, I'm unable to comment, instead just sitting passively in the car as he runs in for whatever it is he's buying. Before long he's back and we're driving again, the drive becoming more and more familiar. I realize we're headed to my house. The one I share with my husband. No no no no no I think, not able to process this on top of everything else that's occurred.
Page pulls into my driveway and I stiffen, looking at him with quiet fury. "What is this?" I ask, not really expecting any response. I was right. He just stares at me, and offers me the choice between leading him inside nicely or walking naked around my neighborhood, finishing with a nice cumshot on my chest for all the neighbors to see. I know he's bluffing, that he would just force me in the house regardless, but I'm sure he's enjoying the thought nonetheless, and so instead of acknowledging it, I lead him inside as calmly as possible when my heart feels like it will beat through my chest.
I try to rationalize this. I'm being forced. Blackmailed. What am I supposed to do? Some part of me, the tiny little decent part I have, replies, quietly "Call it off. Tell your husband. Come clean. Apologize..." but I shake my head, not willing to damage my pride, not willing to give up the intense pleasure that Page has been able to give me, that physical pleasure mixed in with the heady excitement of wrongdoing. I am such a fucking bitch, I think. The thought doesn't arouse any particular emotion one way or the other. It's just a statement of fact, pure and simple.
Once inside, Page shoves me toward the stairs, urging me to lead him to the bedroom I share with my husband. The thought of fucking him there - in our bed, where Mark and I had our first time, where he sometimes makes me come (but only if I'm thinking really hard about what I'd rather be doing) - makes me wet, the horrible slut that I am. He kisses me then, invading my mouth with an expert tongue, claiming me, making sure I obey. But it was never really a question. I turn silently and open the door, then undress as directed. We're both standing now and my heartbeat quickens as he opens a jar of coconut oil - So that's what he purchased at the health food store - thinking of the filthy mess we'll end up making all over my lovely king size bed makes me salivate. Knowing he will be able to make me come again and again in a way that Mark never could makes my knees weak.
I wonder what makes Page's cock harder, the idea of violating me in the bedroom I share with my husband, or the sight of me as he smears coconut oil all over my tits, stomach, arms, making them shine and look almost luminous. His touch as he rubs me down is almost gentle, and if I close my eyes I could imagine someone who cares about me doing the same thing. But I don't close them, I stare at him, the knowledge of his - what is it exactly? - hatred, lust, anger, all of the above? - actually making the pleasure stronger, more primal. He leans down and takes one of my nipples into his greedy mouth, sucking and biting gently at first, then much harder, making me twitch and moan and ache with need. His mouth leaves me as he grabs another scoop of solid oil, which quickly melts when it meets the flesh between my thighs. He takes his time, covering every inch of my pussy with the now warm oil, fingers sliding along my slit, feeling like they're everywhere at once, until I'm shaking and about to come. He senses my closeness and quickly flips me over to my stomach so he can focus on slathering oil on my back and ass. Once I'm totally covered, I feel him start to work his fingers in and I realize he's going to fuck my ass. He's warming me up now with the oil and fingers, but soon enough, he will replace them with his thick, hard cock. The idea makes me hungry, needy. I haven't had a dick in my ass since college.
I want it. I need it. I don't want it. I don't need it. I hate it. I love you. I hate you. My thoughts are a psychologist's wet dream of cognitive dissonance and I squirm and writhe on the bed as his fingers invade me, now in both my ass and pussy, filling me up, tearing moans unbidden from my throat.
Then, it's my turn. Page pushes the other jar of coconut oil into my hands with the order to oil him up and I'm more than happy to oblige. All sense of decorum, of reluctant shyness I may have been clinging to, has vanished with the knowledge of what's about to happen, of what has been happening. My hands shake a little as I scoop some of the oil out and start to slather it on him, starting with his broad chest, feeling the hair underneath my fingers and suddenly, violently overcome with the desire to lick every inch of him.
I haven't had time or inclination until to get a proper look at his body, but I can certainly appreciate it now, and as I work the oil into every inch of his skin, I'm aware of how incredibly sexy he is. I hate him and love him all over again. I worship and revile him simultaneously. I finally reach his cock and eagerly coat it in oil, working both hands over the shaft, exploring every single centimeter of flesh.
We're both completely coated in the oil, our bodies warm and slick and wet and shiny, and then Page yanks my hair, directing me to get on all fours on the bed. I hear his voice, stern and commanding, from behind me: "Beg me to fuck your ass. Tell me why you want this thick cock to use you and fill you to the brim with come..." A low keening sound, almost like an animal in pain, escapes my lips, as I try to gather my thoughts and explain the depths of my depravity, beg him to satisfy some seemingly unquenchable thirst within me.
"Please. Please fuck my ass. I want... no. I need to be used like a filthy fucking slut. I want you to fuck me in every hole, fill me with come, make me your fucktoy..." I continue begging quietly, subtle, whimpering pleas as he starts to invade my ass.
As he enters, he seems to lose whatever modicum of control he had previously and rams the entire length of his hard cock into me, causing me to shriek in a glorious combination of pleasure and pain. I don't know what I'm saying anymore, only know that I'm still talking, like he's my fucking therapist and I need to tell him every sick and depraved desire that's ever crossed my mind. Soon, he's flipping me over on my back, reaching for something out of sight.