A shorter story than normal, inspired yet again by food/beverage cravings I had while writing. It's kind of weird, and contains prostate play with tentacles. Enjoy!
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Coby lived alone in his apartment and worked from home as a content writer, but he had a rich social life. But, tonight was stressful. He had to write a ten thousand word article on wildlife preservation for a high paying client by noon the next day. It was the midnight before the deadline, and Coby typed furiously from his bedroom desk. He was on his second energy drink: it was a newer brand in a purple can, and the cold, mixed berry liquid had a syrupy, bubbly texture to it that he liked, just a little thicker than most drinks.
He was short, slightly feminine, and had recently dyed his short hair a deep chestnut brown. He was typing on his laptop while wearing his fuzzy green pyjama shirt and sweatpants, both somewhat worn with use. He sat in a swiveling office chair in front of the desk by his bed. The wheels of his chair clicked against the orange-brown wood floor whenever he moved.
At midnight, his resolve faltered. Maybe it was time for a break. He minimized his two Chrome windows and his Scrivener window, and pulled out his phone.
Just as he pulled it out, it buzzed and he got a text from a number he didn't recognize. It read:
"hey u awake i am GUNGA BUNGA the wizard and i wanna thank u for helping me with the raid boss last week been very busy i couldn't thank u until now"
Coby played several MMOs and couldn't remember which one he met him in, but the name was familiar. He did a lot of mid-tier raids in between his content writing hours. This was where he met most of his real life friends.
Coby made a new contact for the number and named it "GUNGA BUNGA". He typed up a reply.
"No problem. How did you get this number?"
"the great wizard GUNGA BUNGA knows all. also facebook. i texted u because i wanna gib u somethign"
"If you're giving something out for free, sure, I'll accept it."
"thank u yes it is free. ur the best healer ever so i wanna gib u a wish for it is my duty as GUNGA BUNGA the all powerful wizard"
"A wish?"
"yes a real life wish not one of those crummy dand fifth e wishes that gib u nothing in real life. what u want i am GUNGA BUNGA epic gamer wizard nothing is too much"
This had to be a troll.
"Just to clarify, you're offering to cast a magic wish spell on my behalf?"
"yes and with no drawbacks because u know my account username and i dont wanna get pvped to death. name what u want"
Coby grinned. He decided to play along.
"And I can wish for anything?"
"yes. i wont judge dont worry"
He glanced at one of the unopened, still-cold energy drink bottles on his desk. He giggled as he typed his wish.
"I have an unopened energy drink on my desk. Can you turn it into a cute girl with cool tentacles who wants to pound me in the butt?"
When he hit send, he keeled over in laughter and almost fell out of his chair. And it was something he thought would be kind of cool if it were to happen for real, partly driven by his caffeine cravings right now.
"which one there are a few cans on ur desk"
It was a little unnerving, but it was midnight and they were MMO players, so it was safe to assume that he just guessed that there were multiple cans.
"The one on the far right."
"ok gimmie a sec"
"No need to rush. Take your time."
Coby absentmindedly browsed on his phone, avoiding any and all work while he waited for a reply.