Eva heard music. At first, she thought it might be a radio Tanner left on around the house somewhere. He often did absent minded things like that. With the distant tune on the air, Eva went to Tanner's office expecting to find the small radio he used to listen back to his own sermons playing some choral music. It wasn't. Off and silent, it offered no explanation as to the strange tune floating on the air. Eva chose to ignore it, returning to her housekeeping. This happened on the morning after Lucy took the Crimson Shade's gift and entirely without Lucy being aware of it.
The music didn't go away, but it grew incessant and louder. Eva thought of telling her husband, but she didn't know how he would react. "Yes, dear, I'm apparently hearing a heavenly choir everywhere I go. No, I don't think we need to go to the hospital. No, I don't think it's an immaculate vision either. No, I wouldn't like to discuss it further." Tanner would try to understand, of course, but he would want to fill in the unknown with something known as fast as possible. For a man who dedicated his life to a great unseen force, Tanner abhorred the inexplicable. Once, Eva considered asking him whether he heard it, too. She noticed some people at the grocery store nodding along to an unheard tune. Perhaps everyone could hear the music, but no one wanted to risk being thrown in a loony bin by admitting to it. She decided against asking.
He would make it about him, of course. The issue wouldn't be, "oh, Eva you're sick or touched by the divine or something," but it would become, "
my wife
is sick or touched by the divine or something, draw your eyes unto me so that I may impart my own opinions on the matter. No, don't look at her, she's fine." As long as Eva kept it secret, it was hers and hers alone. She could hear a music more beautiful than any Tanner could imagine. So far as she knew,
only
she could hear it, and so she decided to keep it precious for herself. It rarely got in the way, after all. The song didn't distract her while driving. It didn't swell dramatically when she went out to drag in the empty garbage bins. The music lingered on the corners of her thoughts, giving her a faintly heard bit of theme music throughout her day.
The songs did get louder or stronger sometimes, though Eva didn't like to think of why. It made her blush. She first noticed a change in the song after the second week of hearing it. It came to her more clearly when she woke up that morning, and it seemed to have more than one clear voice in it. Eva hummed along happily as she made Tanner his breakfast and sent him off on the errands of a young pastor, whatever those might be from day to day. With him out of the house, she went to take a shower. When she pulled back the curtain and stepped out to dry herself in front of the mirror, the music swelled, ever so slightly. Looking at herself in the mirror, Eva saw herself for the first time in years. A simple thought came through in the song,
You
're sexy.
Now, that isn't to say Eva hadn't looked at herself in a mirror while naked for the full duration of her marriage. Nor had she gone so long without considering her looks. But what came through in the music wasn't some note of self consciousness. It wasn't a flighty chord drawing attention to the slight pudge of her love handles. It wasn't her own thoughts rebelling against one another with doubt over what she saw versus what a lifetime of insecurity told her to see. The music spoke with clear voice that wasn't her own. The music said
you
're
not
I
'm.
Eva didn't actually think someone else could see her, but she had come to believe the music had some type of sentience behind it. And it felt nice for that disembodied being to compliment her.
The slight change in the song led her to further experimentation. She began to spend more time in front of the mirror while Tanner was out of the house. Rather than swiftly clothing herself when she finished drying, she began to sit naked at her vanity for the remainder of her beauty regimen. Eva spent much of her life avoiding vanity as best she could. Most of the boys she'd known never went for the girl with black hair for whatever reason. Not that she'd gone without male, and some female, attention through her younger years. She developed late, complimenting her athletic build with fresh, supple curves. This merely made it more difficult to attract the type of attention she wanted. Sure, she could have had the high school quarterback in the back of his car on a Saturday night, but she wasn't that type of girl. She wanted the boy who would spend the Saturday night holding her hand and getting to bed early to be up in time for church the next morning.
That boy turned out to be Tanner, and she did get the naughtier part of the deal after a while. When they began dating, Tanner came close to worshiping her beauty. He even wrote bad poetry to that effect. Once they were properly married, things began to change. For reasons neither of them understood, the wall they'd built around their sexuality did not prove as easy to tear down as it had been to build up. Eva thought the ring on her finger and the lengthy sermon which accompanied their vows would somehow cleanse them of their prudishness. Yet when they laid together their first night, everything felt clumsy and intrusive. Things improved somewhat as Tanner learned the purely physical joy of being with her, but he never praised her sexuality the way he'd praised her chaste beauty. Eva never realized how much it bothered her until she heard it dissonant in the song.