The ceremony was to take place on the hill crest on the manor grounds. Five black flags, each encrusted with gold etching were placed in a semi-circle around a similarly decorated alter. The alter was made to look like the bottom half of a coffin; a flattened body pillow covered in gold satin was placed on the alter top. Red rose petals were sprinkled on it and around the alter. Torches flanked two sides of the alter and paired with the lack of moonlight, the scene felt like a dramatic painting the viewer could not escape.
Charisma tightened her grip on Jameson's hand as they approached the alter. Nadia's body wasn't present, but that did nothing to remedy the heaviness in the pit of her stomach. "What should I do?"
"We have to wait for the body to be brought out."
"And then?"
Jameson looked at the ground solemnly as he said, "And then we watch as Alexis sets it on fire." There wasn't much else to the ceremony; prayers weren't needed because they knew exactly where the soul would go. Everyone had said their goodbyes and there were no other special preparations to make. All that was left to do was wait.
Charisma felt his tension and decided to remain silent until it was necessary for her to speak. She wasn't sure that there was anything she could say at this point; they were about to burn someone who'd given up her life for them. They were about to burn someone they loved. Charisma let out a tired breath and found herself straightening in tense anticipation when she noticed Liam carrying Nadia's body toward the alter. Behind him, the brothers followed. They walked slowly, almost as if trying to delay the inevitable. Their focus was the alter before them. Liam gently placed the body and the men helped to adjust the robes and her limbs. Nadia's body was still pliable, an observation that made Charisma frown; rigor mortis should have set in by now. But what did it matter? It wasn't as if Nadia would be using the body any time soon.
Alexis directed everyone to stand around the alter in a semi-circle opposite the flags. "If anyone has anything else to say to her, say it now before I... Before..." He forced himself to calm down before he became too emotional. "Say it now or keep it to yourself."
"Why is Alexis doing it?" What Charisma meant to ask was why the quiet dictator of the family took the responsibility of burning Nadia's body. In her eyes, Andraemalek, the person who loved her most, should have been the one to do it.
"Because he's the oldest and therefore the head of the family," Jameson whispered, "Since D., isn't here to do it, it falls on Lex's shoulders." As if his brother didn't have enough responsibility. Jameson would have volunteered, but he knew for a fact that Alexis would have denied the request. Like everyone else in the family, the eldest brother felt it was his responsibility to ensure Nadia's safety. Because he too had failed, he would punish himself by setting her body free.
Alexis waited a few minutes before taking one of the torches in his hand. He inwardly said a few words of farewell before he touched the torch flame to the edge of the mock bedding. The fire did not take long to spread, and within moments, dark, billowing smoke floated through the air.
There was silence as everyone watched the body burn. Charisma's vision grew cloudy; she was crying again. Somehow, watching the fire made Nadia's death more permanent; there was no way around a burning body. It was then that she realized that there was a part of her that hoped that by being part of the paranormal, she would have been able to find a way to bring Nadia back. It was possible before; it should have been possible again. But there was no longer any hope for that. She had to let go and mourn.
Jameson felt tears well in his eyes when the fire that engulfed Nadia's body slowly dimmed to allow the bright blue light that slowly raised freedom to move. It was her soul; they'd successfully released the last part of her, the part that made her who she was. The soul shone brightly; physical proof that the warmth and love she gave everyone was pure and unconditional. How could it not be? She'd given up her life to protect the people she loved. Her soul hovered over her chest for the briefest of moments before it continued its ascent to the either the afterlife or reincarnation; her destination was up to the High Council. Jameson hoped that she'd be sent to the afterlife; Nadia had been through enough. She deserved peace.
Euan, who had chosen to remain in his canine form, was the first to walk away. Consuming grief gripped his chest painfully, slowing his usually brisk gait. He needed time alone to get himself together; it would do no one any good to see him a mess of emotions. Distantly, he heard Slade follow behind, but he paid no mind; solitary was his main concern.
Roman, who'd lagged behind to give support if it was needed, shook his head in confusion as he asked, "How could they allow her to die?"
Liam knew who his brother spoke of. "Like I said before; they're selfish bastards who always thought it was perfectly fine to punish us for his mistakes." He looked to the still burning embers on the table in disgust. "Never mind the fact hat good people get hurt in the process."
Roman would have replied to the statement, but Liam abruptly walked off. With a discouraged sigh, he looked at his twin. "We should go make sure D. is ok."
"He wants to be alone," Draco replied.
"What he wants and what he needs are two different things," Alexis countered, "Have Caleb track his thoughts for a location."
The twins nodded once before they walked away from the group. Draco took the time out to place a hand on Jameson's shoulder as he passed him.
Alexis watched the show of affection silently. The look on Jameson's face reminded him of a look Euan once had when he had to kill a rabid wolf; guilt-ridden. "She wouldn't want you to blame yourself for this."
"Doesn't change how I feel," Jameson said with a shake of his head. He was growing tired of hearing those words. As long as he lived, he would feel guilty for Nadia's decision. "She begged me to take her from him."
Alexis said nothing for a moment as realization kicked in. It wasn't Nadia's death Jameson blamed himself for; it was more the fact that Nadia's death meant Andraemalek's pain and desertion. "She begged you to let yourself have her," he said with a pointed look at Charisma. Her wide eyed look of surprise told him that she blamed herself as well. Alexis was sure that her guilt had to do with the fact that she'd survived. "So let yourself have her."
Charisma watched Alexis walk away, shocked that he seemed so unemotional about the situation. He was very abrupt and straightforward, a trait that confused her. It was obviously that he felt Nadia's loss, but his quick dismissal of it made her uneasy. "We're going to have to start over," she announced.
"You've seen first hand the risks that come with my life, and still, you want to stay?" The reality of his life never hit him harder than now, and it shocked him that someone as innocent as she was wanted to take her chances with him. Part of him would have preferred it if she'd reverted to her previous actions of remaining distant and unattached.
"Yes. I love you more than I will ever love anyone. It would kill me to leave you."
"You almost were killed."
"And going through that only showed me how stupid I was to fight my feelings for you." Charisma leaned up to place a soft kiss against his lips. She sighed in relief when he responded; she'd feared that he'd changed his mind about her. "I'm not running anymore."
Jameson pulled her into his arms, kissing her forehead as he held on tightly. Her words meant more to him that he could say; Charisma was the love of his life and thought it would have kept her alive to leave, he would have died inside if she did. Her choice to stay, to love him, to share his life, lightened the burden in his heart.
He did not have to be alone anymore.
* * * * *
He watched from the top of the hill as her soul was set free. She was gone, and there was nothing for him to live for anymore. She didn't fight to stay, didn't do what she had to do to stay with him. She'd always wanted to leave, never wanted anything to do with his life, or with him. The second she saw an opening to go, she took it, not caring that her precious life would be taken. She didn't care that her beautiful heart would no longer beat.
He'd never hear her laugh again, never see her breathtaking smile. He'd never see the heated gleam in her eyes as she insulted him. With her life, her scent was gone. All that was left was a void; a consuming void that left him numb.
Nadia was dead.
Andraemalek never bothered to go back into their room. He never would. The only proof that she existed rested within the confines of those walls, walls he would never breach again. He was done trying to be human. He was a demon, and demons never let themselves become weak enough to fall in love. She didn't fight to stay.
He wouldn't mourn her.