Leland watched as Miranda's eyes drifted closed one more time and stayed closed. She sighed in her sleep and turned so that she was facing Leland. He returned to his seat and watched her through the long morning. She would scratch at her bandages from time to time but then settle again.
He quietly watched and waited for any signs that she would need him to wake her but she stayed content. Four hours later Leland woke her for her lunch and Myra came back in to check her vitals and to secure her bandages.
"Try not to scratch at these Miranda," she said as she put fresh tape on them.
"Sorry," Miranda said meekly, "I didn't know that I was."
"Ah, pesky sleep scratching," Myra chuckled understanding her.
When Myra left again Miranda turned to Leland
"Why are you still here?"
"I don't need to be anywhere else," he said and leaned forward, "I need to be here." With that said he tapped her table, "Eat honey. You need your strength."
Miranda reached for her fork and pulled the table a little closer. It felt strange to be eating in front of him without him having something. So she cut off half her ham sandwich and offered it to him.
Understanding her he took it, "Thank you."
Miranda ate quietly watching him, as he watched her eat. She wasn't completely sure as to why she was so at ease with him. Ever since she first woke up here it was like he belonged here. But of course he worked here and that could be the reason. But it didn't explain why, when he bit into the sandwich, that she felt a sense of pride that he was liking what she gave him.
"Don't think so hard Miranda," Leland said to bring her attention back from her internal debate.
"I like thinking," she said and leaned back. She looked at her plate and saw that she had finished all of it. She pushed the table away and tried to get comfortable with her bandages as they were feeling a bit tight.
"What's wrong?" Leland asked as he removed the table.
"I think the bandages are too tight. They're not comfortable."
Leland leaned over and pressed the nurse's button. "Myra will be back in a second and she'll look at them."
"Ok," she answered and turned to look out the window. She found that looking at him too long made her thoughts turn to the carnal images that he was distracted by earlier. And he was being so nice and attentive to her. She didn't want to insult him.
"Miranda," Myra said as she came in the room, "Is there anything wrong?"
"My bandages," she told her and held up an arm for her. "They're bothering me."
"Well let's take a look," Myra said and came closer. After testing the bandage and the new tape she made her decision. "It's time to change them anyway so we'll take care of that. Be back in a minute."
When they were alone again Leland pulled his chair closer.
"Why do you keep looking away from me?"
Miranda startled a little then turned to look at him. "Don't you already know?"
"You told me not to read you, and I'm not. I always keep to my word."
Shame hit her at her tone towards him. He was so kind to her and had only done as she asked and she was trying to use it against him. It wasn't right and she knew it.
"I'm sorry," she said and looked down at her hands. "That wasn't fair. You have been nothing but nice to me and all I can seem to do is snap at you."
"There's nothing to apologize for Miranda," Leland said. "You are and will be a little emotionally drained for a while. I understand it and you, so you can't hurt my feelings," he told her. 'That is unless you say you won't mate with me,' he thought. But he couldn't and wouldn't push himself on her when she was still so traumatized.
"You're too nice to me Leland," she said. "I should be locked away in a padded room and you know it just as well as I do."
"I know no such thing Miranda," he said and leaned in closer to her. "I will help you through this Miranda. You can and will see that you have more than you know on your side."
"You can't know or understand what I feel Leland, how long I've been so alone, so tired. There's nothing left for me. You wouldn't have even known me if I hadn't tried to kill myself and failed." Miranda was getting more and more agitated with every word. Even to herself she sounded pathetic and more like a person that needed to be watched every second, waiting for the moment she would try again and possibly succeed.
Leland watched the tears form and the color rise in her cheeks. How do you fight this deep sense of hatred she had for herself? His wolf paced and howled in his mind. He wanted to jump out and show her that she was wanted, needed in more ways than she could imagine. With each word Miranda said against her own state of mind he wanted nothing more than to roll her over and bite her, change her, show her there was more, that she belonged here.
"Miranda; you need to stop talking like you don't matter to anyone. You matter to me. I want you, need you in my life. Maybe we didn't meet the way either one of us would have liked, but we have now." He touched her cheek and brushed away the tears that had spilled down them. All he could do was to keep talking, to try and convince her that he was staying with her, that he was going to support her.
"What's going on here?" Myra asked as she came back to the room, "Why is my patient upset?" she asked as she looked at Leland.
Leland looked up at Myra with such a look of pain and indecision that Myra blinked in confusion. In all their years she had never seen such a lost look on his face.
"It's my fault," Miranda said quickly at the accusation in Myra's eyes. "I was upsetting myself. Leland was trying to help me feel better."
Now Myra understood the look in his eyes. She had many patients that had made her feel that she wasn't making any progress in getting through to them. She could also see that his wolf was close to the surface, and that was not a good thing at this stage.
"Leland, can you leave us for a little while please?" Myra asked as gently as she could.
"Why?"
"You need to eat and rest," she told him.
"I had half a sandwich," he said and kept his eyes on Miranda.
Miranda looked over at him shocked and knew that he hadn't moved or slept while she was here, that he had stayed while she slept and watched over her. A wave of unexpected pleasure came up and washed over her lonely heart and it pumped so hard and fast she gasped from it. More than affection, more than lust, she felt connected to him. She had never known what love felt like so she imagined that this must be what it feels like when it starts.
"Can he stay please?" she practically begged. "We can make room for a bed for him can't we?"
