THIS LETTER HAS BEEN ASSESSED BY THE MINISTRY FOR INFORMATION INTEGRITY AND ACCURACY BY ORDER OF HER MAJESTY, EMPRESS VANHERN, UNDER THE PATRIOTIC COLLABORATION ACT.
COMPLAINTS AND SUGGESTIONS SHOULD BE REPORTED AND FILED WITH THE MINISTRY FOR INFORMATION INTEGRITY AND ACCURACY, AND THEIR MINISTER OF OVERSIGHT, LORD GAARN.
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To her Edric,
of Edric and Yuri, Tailors of High Street.
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There should be silver tile enclosed, for the man who bring the letter. If not, rip 'em a new one and pay nobody, no shit! But she think that royal messengers might not be same as normal messengers, so she doesn't know if she even meant to pay them.
Bubbles should probably ask Avician, but she didn't wanna get laughed at by her Nina, who always listening.
She have lot to say, but first - she fucking hate writing. Words are big and stupid! She hurt her hand. Soft spot on end of finger? On knuckle? Avician make her practice writing. Says it normal. She hates it!
But he's impressed isn't he? Bubbles could barely fucking read when he saw her last, and now she's writing! Not just last letter, but this one too. No one helping her, at all. Has she managed to make her Edric proud of her? She can even write cursewords! (Avician very judge... Not liking that one. Nina finds it hilar... Very funny.)
Well, no one helping with this letter. Avician is a big bully and makes Bubbles practice lots of stupid things. Like writing and reading and chewing with her mouth shut.
Avician.
Maybe Bubbles should start her letter, there. You see... Bubbles completely, utterly, fucked! No. No, she didn't go and take another lover. She misses her Edric too much for that. Get stupid thought out of his head.
But... She didn't say something in her last letter, and that was a new... Kinda lover? Not really. Sorta. Eugh. So... The Edric isn't allowed to think that Bubbles is crazy, because everyone else saw it.
How does she say this as delicately as possible? His little catgirl... Has such terrible luck... That she managed to catch the attention of someone. The kind of someone that can set up things, just to watch Bubbles come blundering in and fall on her ass.
He can ask the royal messenger, who should be politely waiting for his answer. Man not supposed to come back to Bubbles without an answer, so she doesn't know if he'll hover and ask, or just check in with the Edric everyday. Something.
Ask them about... What the temple is saying about his Bubbles.
She didn't mean it! She really does, just have the shittiest (is that word?) luck in the world. She feels confident saying that. Bubbles doesn't think anyone alive at moment have luck worse than her. Because... Person who found her luck hilarious?
It was... Silver Neko.
Ask the messenger! And send letters to Sana and Kaia and Ninaein, too. They all seen the goddess kind of... Use her. Also, Kaia been talking about Edric. Bubbles thinks succugirl misses having sensible tailor around the house. So write her, esp... Special... Write her more than others.
Bubbles doesn't think of Silver Neko as a real lover. She means... Sex with the goddess is fucking mind blowing. Goddess just strokes her cheek and Bubbles in the heart of her heat. Instant. Woman kisses her, and Bubbles damn near kills her panties with wet.
Never mind that the goddess has actual dick when she uses Bubbles!
Anyways... That was what Bubbles was too scared to put in her last letter, to the man she loves and misses. Don't tell the others, but only having girls is wearing little thin. They're all so irritable and jealous, and Bubbles really kinda just aching for her Edric's magic thing.
He doesn't need cuddles after, like rest want.
Bubbles is also super proud of him and everything he do. She wouldn't ask for him to come to her. He is exactly where big wide world need him. Tailor for all the lords and ladies, under new empress and new rules. Helping dress the ones that Sharhalla help heal, showing them all the secrets of the city. Bubbles is... Very, very proud of her mate. (And Sana didn't help her think how to word that. Not at all.)
Back to bunny!
Avician is buneko, and paladin for Silver Neko.
She paid Coiner Guild to find out Bubbles' tribe and clan. Or actually, paid Guild to find lost kitten of Long Cast. Which was Bubbles. Apparently the bastards she never forgive for abandoning her in capital when she was a kitten, were grandkid or some shit, or tribe leader.
And apparently the Darkthorn [REDACTED BY THE OFFICE OF THE MINISTRY FOR INFORMATION INTEGRITY AND ACCURACY BY ORDER OF HER MAJESTY, EMPRESS VANHERN. REDACTED BY THE OFFICE OF THE MINISTRY FOR INFORMATION INTEGRITY AND ACCURACY BY ORDER OF HER MAJESTY, EMPRESS VANHERN. REDACTED BY THE OFFICE OF THE MINISTRY FOR INFORMATION INTEGRITY AND ACCURACY BY ORDER OF HER MAJESTY, EMPRESS VANHERN.]
So, Bubbles the only one left... And that make her heir. Which is total bullshit! The hookteeth all agree that she heir, and they talk about it together, and so on, but they never actually fucking ask her if she was interested in being heir!
Avician isn't too bad. She is a holy knight, so she stuck up and stupid, but she also listens to Bubbles, kind of. She helped to save Bubbles from prison after she got caught trying to sneak into Fanhalla. Unfortunately, her job was still to make Bubbles the heir, so that what she did.
And whilst Bubbles was running around with Nina and Sana and making total fucking idiots of themselves, in a way she too embarassed to write about, Avician was working with Phoenix and Biscuit, and they [PEACEFULLY NEGOTIATED AN EXCHANGE OF POWER FOR FANHALLA], which means now nekos in charge everything.
Avician says she not interested in sex, which is kinda nice after having Inny-Inny claim Bubbles as his wife before he even met her. And the fucking dragon who wanna make Bubbles help to fertilise her egg, even though Bubbles not want to be a mother!
Can you think of someone who would be a worse mother? Bubbles would be terrible for kittens. (Actually, Nina probably a worse mother. Don't tell her that she said that. Bubbles thinks Nina kinda want kittens from her, too.)
Also, Edric should punch Sharhalla for Bubbles, the next time he see the dragon. Really hard. Right in the fucking dick. Not in tummy. Then tell dragon he owes Bubbles a letter about how her kitten doing, and owes her a lot fucking more for giving her a fucking kitten, even if goddess played fuckery to give the kitten's egg to salamander instead.
She won't blame Edric if he do more than punch. Things with knives and balls okay. Just don't hurt her kitten.