Author's Note: I apologise for nothing.
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Avician bounced towards the roof as a chair flew through the space her head had been in, the bunny looking mildly amused as Bubbles hissed at her and looked for something else to toss.
Ninaein held out a throwing star idly, from where the thief was sitting at the table and scarfing down her fish.
That only got an irritated snarl out of Bubbles. It wasn't like she was actually trying to hurt the bunny. If she wanted to do that, she'd just try and blow a fireball up in her face. Try jumping over that.
"Not... Going... On a diet!" Bubbles snapped.
It was her own fault, in some ways.
She had gone to Erientyara and asked for a little doctorly advice. Concerned that she'd put on a little bit of weight since becoming queen, and mostly worried that the fucking goddess had tried to get her fucking pregnant, again. Thankfully, it wasn't kittens.
Unthankfully, Erientyara hadn't felt the need to keep that to herself, and had threatened or encouraged Bubbles' entire household and staff until they had each agreed to help Bubbles lose a little bit of weight.
Which was probably why the dragon wasn't present at breakfast this morning, when Bubbles found out that the kitchen wasn't going to be serving her fish anymore, and had instead served up some stupid biscuit, the colour of shit, that tasted like Kaia's asshole.
"After breakfast, you have a meeting with the new palace smith, Master Cohen." Avician continued, whilst smiling at the attempt to hurt her, "Master Redfern is retiring, and suggested this man as the replacement. He is professional, and well-skilled. However, he is human, which may upset some of the local populace, who expect all government positions to be filled by exotics, now that there's one on the throne."
"Don't wanna." Bubbles pouted, dropping to the floor and crawling under the cloth that surrounded the edges of the table.
"Master Cohen apparently has a project of some kind that he would like the palace to consider funding. Something to do with the... Milk Cove, m'lady." Avician's derision of the ancient myth was plain as day.
The neko under the table fell onto her back and idly began scratching a loveheart into the underside, continuing to ignore her bodyguard. The bunny had been a lot more fun when things were still unstable and on the brink of civil war.
Though, putting her in the same room as Erientyara was still a bunch of fun. Neither of those two were willing to admit defeat, and they really did seem to be equals in anything short of a fight to the death. Even as angry as she was, Bubbles was never going to encourage them to go that far.
Part of Avician's problem was she was a stuck up prig. She was a holy warrior, who served the temple and empire. She knew what it was like to live to high ideals whilst turning a blind eye to all the shit happening to the common folk, to achieve the lofty goals.
The bunny was a titled lady.
On the other hand, Erientyara had been born to wealth and glory, but she had given that all up to be Sharhalla's mate. She was a doctor's wife, and a doctor in her own right, but she carried no title. She was a nobody, or had been until the bitching goddess had shoved a crown on Bubbles' fucking head.
The salamander knew what life was like, on both sides, and preferred life without a title. Fewer responsibilities, more freedom to do what you wanted. A life where being happy was easy.
Erientyara was an enigma to Avician. The dragon had abandoned her duty as a royal-born. Something that was beyond the imagination of the woman who lived her entire life in service to a goddess that didn't even care if she lived or died.
Bubbles' own disrespect for the goddess, probably wasn't helping the bunny to adjust to her new life.
"Finally, m'lady, the Royal Engineers would like some extra funding, for exploring... There was an explosion, during the Halfdark festival. Piece of the mountain erupted, though it doesn't appear to have been caused by the volcano. Thus, they want to analyse the cavern exposed by the explosion." Avician drummed a foot on the ground, impatiently.
Bubbles huffed and kicked her feet, "Don't wanna! Don't wanna! Why can't you or Phoenix deal with boring shit!? She doesn't wanna be queen! She wants her fucking fish!"
"To distract you from your hunger, your grace." Avician replied gently.
She sat up, wincing as she smacked her head on the table, "Ow! You made stupid boring meetings for Bubbles, just to make sure she sticks to fucking diet?"
"Of course, m'lady." Avician sounded mildly amused. "It is no mystery to me, how much you dislike being the chosen ruler of this city. Well, apart from the benefits that the position affords you."
She crawled out from under the table, still rubbing her head, and glared at the bunny with an exaggerated huff. "Being bored not help with hunger. So, dumb idea. Bubbles not meeting no one."
"As you command, m'lady." Avician bowed her head, before beginning a light curtsy.
As soon as the bunneko began the ritualised movement, the catgirl bolted. She sprinted for the heavy wooden doors, and nearly fell over her own boots as she did it.
Bubbles grabbed the brass handle of one and wrenched, starting to giggle at her escape. Right until she saw the person waiting on the other side. A large and red-scaled figure, tapping one clawed foot impatiently.
The catgirl fell backwards with a surprised squeak, followed by an ear-piercing scream as she landed on her tail with an audible crunch.
Bubbles lay on her side, sobbing and pawing at the ground, as Erientyara immediately descended on her. The salamander's tail flicked a nearby maid, sending them tumbling out of the way. The dragon's eyes filled with black as she began casting.
Delicately holding the end of Bubbles' limp tail, the doctor's tongue flicked at the air, and she muttered grumpily to herself. A knife appeared casually at her throat, and Ninaein spoke quietly, "Break or sprain?"
Erientyara bit the knife and spat out the shards to the side, "Break. How many times, Bubbles? I told you! You served as a claker-well. You require long term healing. Your bones are fragile! No running all over the city. No running, full stop! Eat the food I prescribe. The gain in weight hasn't -"
"Fuck her!" Bubbles sobbed, drawing in her arms to hug herself. "Not like... Sh-she meant it!"
"Oh, sweet." The salamander stroked one of her cheeks, and then surrounded her in what she thought was going to be a cuddle. Disappointment and blistering agony hit, when the dragon instead lifted her up and off the ground.
"Ow! Fuck!" Bubbles screamed as her tail dragged.
"Thief. Doors." Erientyara snarled at Ninaein, who actually did what she was asked, for once.
Avician trailed after the three of them, one hand on her sword hilt.
