It was a piercingly cold December night when I was asleep in my tiny, somewhat heat-deprived apartment. The electrical heater buzzed as it projected as much warmth as it could, only to die out every five minutes for me to begrudgingly crawl out from my electric-blanket burrito to turn it back on so it would stay running. I flopped back into my bed and sighed in satisfaction as I wriggled around for comfort in my blankets.
After what seemed like hours of sleep (it was really only minutes...but ohhh, were those delicious minutes of slumber!), I woke up to what sounded like faint, drawn-out whimpers. I lifted my head, not exposing any other body part out of my blankets. It stopped once I rose up to figure out where the mewling was coming from. I looked out the window...and saw nothing. Maybe it was probably my nympho neighbors going at it again. Yeah...maybe, I thought. I swear, you can't even catch a moment of silence between these two. Even when you see them together, you can't deny the fact that they're bound to jump each other's bones, no matter where they were or who was around.
I turned in, with my throw still wrapped around me, and crawled back into bed. And there it was again. Those faint, drawn-out whimpers turned into what sounded like anguished moans. No, it wasn't just moaning...it was meowing. A desperate mixture of meowing, whimpering, and labored breathing.
"Alright, alright, alright..." I yawned as I slowly rose again from my bed, stumbling towards my bedroom door. I opened it to nevertheless find...nothing. Again. My sleepiness perished and soon a lingering fear took over once I saw a shadow I've never seen before, never mind my own. Then, the noise of a picture frame shattering made me almost jump out of my skin, and urged me to run down the stairs into the kitchen.
I swooped up the frying pan off the stove and slowly went browsing through the house to see if anyone had broken in. To my surprise, the doors were still locked. I squinted in the darkness to see if the locks were picked. Nope. Not a single scratch or nail out of place. With a renewed sense of ease, I nonchalantly walked back upstairs to my room to get back into my electric blankets and fall asleep once again.
Another hour passed by, and my body had this brilliant idea to wake up in the middle of the night...AGAIN. I went downstairs once more to pour myself a glass of milk from the refrigerator. I figured watching TV on my laptop for a bit would calm my nerves, so I sat down in the living room couch to watch a marathon worth of The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror episodes.
Another hour passed...then another...then another...
Until I eventually drifted into a sleep that was much needed in the hours before. I could still hear Bart's voice quietly murmuring from my laptop speakers until I heard another picture frame break. Then, that god-awful whimpering and mewing was back...and nearer than it was before. I clutched onto my blanket and hid my face in fear of what I was to witness right before my eyes...
It was just a young man. A weird-looking fella, but nonetheless pretty handsome guy except...he was covered in fur and had a cat's ears and tail. Aaand he was naked. Stark-naked. Great.
"Mraooow?" He mewed as his green cat eyes glimmered in the lamplight, his hand pawing my blanketed legs, trying to gently lower it to expose them. I swiftly pulled up my blanket to cover myself back up, but he still persisted.
"Mrow?" He bolted up, with excitement and confusion in his eyes that wasn't there before and both hands on my legs, continuously kneading and pushing on my knees until I yelped in pain. His claws began to show, and somehow sunk their way into my blanket and into my skin.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" I screamed as he circled around the couch and continued to stare at me with his daunting green eyes. The playfulness in them started to transform back into a lustful gleam, and a smirk crept across his face. He had me right where he wanted me, until he said...
"Okay, let's cut the creepy bullshit. Hi, my name is Felix, and I'm a cat-man whose owner forgot to neuter him and dumped him on the side of the road. So, I prowled all this way here to find a new owner...and I figure you'd fill in just nicely. And I mean that in more ways than one."
"What?" I looked at Felix as if he was out of his naive little kitty-boy skull.
"Oh, and I found this," he plainly said as he tossed me a strap-on that had...I don't know what you would describe it, but it had plastic barbs on it. Nothing that I've ever seen before...at all. My eyes were still transfixed with perplexity as I was thinking, "Barbs? Really?"
