Hi all, thanks for waiting, it's been a long month. I have the next chapter well on the way, so it shouldn't take quite as long...theoretically. ^^
I know some of you were happy where it ended last chapter, and who can blame you, so feel free to leave it at that...however, if you want to see how all this ends, stay tuned. Same bat-time, same bat-channel.
yours
-enithermon
*************
Thea woke into a dream. The windowless room was dark, too large to be her room, the tapers had burnt themselves to nothing and the fire had nearly died and smoldered only very gently, casting the faintest of glows into the room. The chairs were outlined by the fires dim light, but the rest of the room, including the bed was lost in shadow.
There was no way to know what time it was in this windowless place, but something told her it was day. The room was cold and dark, but the bed was comfortable, and the sheets still warm from her body. She tucked herself more deeply into them to escape the chill and found her body wasn't the only one warming the sheets. Her hand brushed something smooth and warm. She reached out and followed the length of it. It was an arm. She stiffened. Her fingers found fingers, and she breathed in wonder as they wrapped around hers and contracted. Her heart fluttered, and she fought the fog of sleep that hung over her and felt out the shape of her memories as they came flowing back to her.
"Oh" she whispered softly. She remembered. She remembered all of it.
She pulled away and sat up. She was naked. She covered herself with the blanket and looked down at the body next to her. It was too dark to see his face, but she didn't need to, and she wasn't sure she wanted to. She slid out of the bed and looked for her dress in the darkness. She tiptoed around the bed, not finding it on her side. She tried to be quite, but the cold on her bare skin and the aches of her body, and the call of her memories made her breath hard. To make matters worse she nearly tripped over her clothes once she found them. She bent down to collect them and felt a hand grasp her wrist. She could make out the arm in the darkness as her eyes adjusted, but the mouth that spoke fell into the shadow that her body cast over it.
"Where are you going?"
His voice was a warm whisper. She shivered.
"It's day...I have work..."
She could only whisper back, but she was grateful her voice had not betrayed her by trembling.
"I see." was all he said and his arm returned to the darkness. She saw him lay still, his eyes glinting briefly, then turn away. Thea felt her throat close and an inexplicable sensation run through her. She had to get out of there. She almost dashed to the door her sudden apprehension causing her to forget she was still nude. She pulled the dress over her head quickly and found the handle in the gloom. She cast one last look to the bed and saw nothing to give her fear or comfort.
"sleep well" she whispered softly into the darkness before slipping quickly out the door.
The hall was, to her relief, empty. She pressed her back against the door and heaved a shaking breath. Why was she so afraid? Or was this fear? What was this tightness in her chest? She shook her head to clear it, but to no avail. She felt bleary and light headed. From sleep, or blood loss, or something else, she couldn't tell. She pushed away from the door and walked stiffly to her room, closing it softly behind her.
This room was even colder. She lit the fire and sat frozen in the little chair before it. Her hands began to tremble, and she fought to still them. Her breathing became rapid and the trembling flowed from her hands to the rest of her as she was barraged by a sudden onslaught of thoughts and emotions, none of which were coherent, but which were powerful enough to make her whimper in submission to them.
Had she not gone there thinking that this was what she wanted, that he was what she wanted? Everything had just happened, felt right, felt incredible...but now? Now, again, she wasn't sure how it felt. All she knew was that the moment she let herself think about it she had trouble breathing, it was too much. He was too overwhelming; she could so easily lose herself in him. He would drown her.
She'd started it though, hadn't she, and not him? But, then, he'd certainly finished it. Her hands began trembling again. She still couldn't believe she'd kissed him like that.
It was as though she'd lost all control over herself, the impulse was too great, she had needed to touch him so badly. He had been so kind to say the things he said, and the caring, the pain in his voice when he'd said it had made her fall apart and destroyed her reserve. She'd been like a cup over-filled.
But then the things he'd done to her afterward, said to her, those weren't gentle...the things she'd wanted to do to him, begged him to do...she flushed. What must he think of her? Then again, what had he already thought when he stole into her cottage all those nights before?
She'd never felt so raw, so vulnerable. This unnerved her more than anything else. What would she say to him, what could she say? How could she look him in the eye? It was hard enough already to remain calm, to keep her control. She knew the minute she'd see him she'd fall apart.
"How am I to face him now?" she murmured.
***
Jairus rose early. He hadn't slept again after she'd left and taken the warmth that had eased his chest with her. Her brief words and quick flight had brought back his previous heaviness, and he'd lain awake feeling the menacing icy fingers wind through him once more. As he dressed he contemplated his circumstances. She had come to him, told him she'd stay, despite what he'd been doing to her, kissed him, let him take her, and he'd promptly turned into a wild bloody animal and scared her off, just like he'd been dreading he would.
Was he trying to test her limits? Did he actually
want her to go?
"You're doing a damn fine job of it then." He growled at himself as he straightened his jerkin and grabbed his cloak. There was something tucked inside. He pulled out the necklace. He'd completely forgotten about it. Should he give it to her? No. If she stayed and he earned her trust, he'd give it to her then. He'd feel like he was trying to buy her if he did now. Or worse, she'd think he was.
He threw his cloak over his arm and made his way to the library. He still couldn't help the small smile that fleeted across his face as he passed her room. Even tainted with fear and regret, last night had still left him feeling a little light headed. She had seemed so willing, so responsive...had he just imagined that? He sighed and settled himself into a chair and stared off at the far wall. He heard a skirt rustle behind him and his gut lurched a little before he sensed it was May.
"'How're you today master?" He could never get her to get rid of that 'master' habit.
"Just Jairus, May." That didn't mean he wouldn't stop trying. 'Master' made his skin creep, it's what slaves called those who whipped them.
"As you say Master" He heard the smile in her voice and rolled his eyes. She was still lurking behind him.
