Shin watched the robot navigate the floor of the apartment. He had to admit that it was impressive. It moved quickly through the sty of Guy's living room, adroitly dodging furniture, electronic detritus, and empty pizza boxes with equal facility.
"Okay, Guy, it's cool. What the hell is it?"
"Besides my rent for the next six months? It's a fucking machine."
"I can see that it's a fucking machine. But what does it do?"
Guy's laughter, like everything else about the man, was annoying; a braying sound that grated on the nerves. "No you stupid slant, it's really a fucking machine. It's a machine for fucking."
"One, weight differences aside if you call me slant one more time I'm going to kick your testicles into your throat if I have to wait until you're asleep to do it. Two, fucking a machine is pretty deviant; even for you."
Guy gave Shin a fleshy finger and turned his back on him, clicking on the control interface of his computer to shut the robot down. "Not a machine for fucking, a machine that fucks. I was cruising the forums over at fucking machines and I got into an argument with one of the owners. I said their machines were too damn complicated and did next to nothing. I mean, they've got these pneumatic presses and high power drills and..."
"Get to the point, Guy," Shin said in exasperation.
"I said I could do it better. They said I couldn't. One of the guys on the board said he'd buy my machine if it could do everything I promised." He gestured at the robot. "And there it is."
"So what makes this better?" Shin asked as he grabbed a warm can of soda from one of the piles in the kitchen.
"Everything. The beast is built of plastic with aluminum for reinforcement. It only weighs about one-hundred and eighty pounds. And the parts are... I can assemble big parts out of a few small parts. I'm thinking about patenting the idea. It can move. At first I just defined moving as being able to change position, but when I made it mobile it allowed all sorts of cool things. For instance, it runs on a car battery. But because it can move, I programmed it to recharge itself. It'll plug itself in to a wall socket when the power gets low. And because it's just good user-friendly design, I set it up so that it'll explore it's environment and locate the power sources. Installation is completely automatic and the programming interface is a breeze."
"USB?"
Guy laughed again and Shin winced.
"Wireless, of course. It can talk to the network anywhere within four-hundred feet thanks to the antenna. Which is a good thing because the cameras need someplace to communicate with. Seven different angles."
"I know I'm going to regret this, but what about the fucking?"
Guy clicked a couple of buttons and Shin heard a whirring noise from the machine. It reared back onto four legs and he could see...
"Dude... that's sick!"