The howl cuts through the still of the night; the sudden noise makes me jump in my chair. When will I get used to it? The doorbell rings, and I go to open the door. A group of children, dressed up as devils and ghosts and witches and sickening, sugary-sweet fairies - aren't Halloween costumes supposed to be SCARY? - are standing on the doorstep, yelling "Trick or Treat!"
A group of Responsible Adults, presumably the little midgets' mothers, are grinning sternly, stretching their necks to inspect what kind of candy I'm handing out to their offspring. Jellybeans and Hersheys? Approved. Again, the howl echoes through the night, and this time, the kids are the ones who jump.
"Do you have a wolf in your house?" a little boy asks.
"No," I say. "It's a werewolf."
The kids grin and go "whow" in various degrees of approval. The women smile condescending, one says "nice sound effects", and nods to me as if I've passed some kind of test. I close the door behind them, hoping that they will be the last of the looters for tonight.
I watch some old film on TV, and when no-one has come to bugger me before 11 pm, I decide that the trick-or-treating must be over for tonight, and I go to the bathroom to take a hot bath. The howling has stopped. Perhaps the moon's hidden behind the clouds? I run a bath for myself, and add some lavender bath foam. I lie there for at least an hour. The warm water is making me sleepy. I get out before I drown, and dry my body with a coarse towel, making my skin red and tender and scrubbed soft. I pour some spicy-scented oil in my hand; rub it into the skin, making it soft and shiny. I dry my hair and wrap a towel around it before I put on my make-up. I smear several layers of blood red lipstick on my lips, I line my eyes with charcoal black, and I even take the time to paint my nails a shade of red that's even darker than the lipstick. I walk naked through the house, into the bedroom. I open my closet and stand there for a long time, picking out dress after dress, hanging them all back as they fail to suit my fancy. I want something classy yet sexy. Something that will make you harden at the sight of me.